Problematic... Im 23 Shes 16

[timeless9]

Thank you for all your comments, most have been helpful.

 

I do know her very well as it is, I have known the family for awhile, we chat online quite a bit and I do stuff with the family. I did not think of her as a possible girlfriend till a few months ago, I dont really know what triggered it but feelings are hard to control.

 

As many said it really does depend on your culture, and your town... Some towns may be very reglious, where others are a football town, and some like mine, majority of the youth drink. She has avoided alcohol as I did till I was 21. And again as many have said once a girl hits 21 they tend to check out the bar scene as I did also, but most bars are smoking, I cant stand smoke.. I feel worse then when I have a hang over the next day.

 

But I may be blind, it can do that to you, she may be too immature to handle a relationship. Who knows at this point.. I would rather not take the risk.

 

For now I will wait till she is 18, Its probably best.

 

I was rather shocked this many people posted, thanks

[Coop987]

Okkk....so i get what everyone is saying about it being illegal...and i it was..then there would definitely be a problem...but you say that it is not illegal...so lets just forget about that point...

Ok so ppl are saying all this stuff about being at a differnt point in life...ya she is at a diferent point thaan you...being 16 and all...but if you truly care for this girl and she truly cares for you...you can make it work...I know it sounds soo cliche but really age isnt anything but a number...ya you have had more life experience then her and been through all the stuff that she is just now going through..but thats great cuz you can help her through it...

And if you cant help you you fall in love with...its not your choice...just cuz she is 16 doesnt mean you should stop loving her and stop having a relationship with her....IF it is meant to be...it will work out..

As long her parents are not totallly against it (because she IS still a minor)...but i think that if you guys are really in love....it CAN work!!!

 

**hope it helped!!! I have been in a situation like yours..but i was the girl...unfotunately things didnt turn out the way i hoped...stupid parents...but i wish you all the luck**

~Spenser

[lovelylibertine]

Though you said it was just for sex, you didn't quite make you're other reasons clear. Before you do anything, figure them out first. I've always found that it is always about compatible maturities and personalities rather then just the simple number of year. Were I you, and I really felt the need to pursue this I could only think of one way of going about it.

1) Make sure you intentions are pure.

2) Make sure her feelings are shared.

3) This may sound frightening, but talk with her and her family about it. If you really are a family friend, and you seem responsible they may consider it. If not, and you pursue it anyway, it may result in a legal nightmare.

 

good luck

[lucia]

It really depends, but if you think she's mature enough for you go for it. We can't tell you what to do because we don't know this girl in person.

See I'm 20 and my bf is 27, I don't know if it's a big age gap or not, and we don't care we love each other and are together for 2 years now.

Good luck!

[sweeter]

I love these kinds of questions........I met my b/f when I was 15 and he was 24. I will say I wouldn't recommend it for everyone but it did work for us. My mom was against it, his parents were against it. People thought we were crazy. My b/f before him was actually 21, he left me and wanted to get back with me when I was 18, but he was too late.....we have been together for about 14 years now. We have 2 kids together, a house , a car ...the whole family thing. We still love eachother.........so should he have waited...probably but I am sure he is glad he didn't.

[SaRaHmArIe8588]

wow..i am in the same situation here. My boyfriend is going on 24 in Nov. and everyone seems to have a problem with it. We have been seeing eachother for almost a year now and its not really out in the open because no one approves. I myself am mature for my age and my boyfriend never had a girlfriend either. At first i thought it was him posting thats what caught my attention. So i guess im not the only one dealing with this hah..

 

Any way, my advice to you right now is to find out how the girl really feels about you. My guess is she DOES care about you more and not in a brotherly way. My boyfriend thought thats how i felt and thats what kept us from being close until i opened up and told him how i felt. But, as for the age thing. I think you have to wait for her, until she is legal. You can still be with her , just no PDA because you wouldnt want to get in trouble and never be with her.

 

Well i hope i helped and if you need any more advice feel free to PM me or email me at link removed[/i]"]sbord@link removed

 

*sarah*

[inlove123]

OK I think you need some younger insight here. Im turning 17 soon. I have a friend that is absolutly inlove with a 23 year old. In my opinion, I find it utterly disgusting because you know what, all that guy is after is getting into her pants. And im a male aswell, still a virgin and I dont plan on losing it anytime soon. No rush for me. But anyways continuing...I dont like putting all guys in that age range in one category because I know there are great guys out there who actually want a relationship. But honestly dude, I gotta say. Your going after alot...getting the parents acceptance would be a war on its own. And what happeneds if you 2 were to break up, everytime you go to your friends house and your there it would be weird. Personally I think you should just keep your eyes open for someone around your age. Your just not looking in the right places. If you dont like hanging out in bars, find someone who doesnt hang in bars either. There are tons of places to meet girls, just not bars dude.

 

Good luck...

[patch2006uk]

Sorry, at 16 she's a girl, not a woman. You may be trying to convince yourself otherwise to feel ok about developing a close friendship/relationship with her, but trust me...at 16, no one is fully mature. Not even close.

 

im 16! ive been through enough experiences in my life, and ive dealt with them as an adult, and i resent people labelling me because of my age! so some 16 year olds are morons, yes, but not all. its a horrible generalisation, and ageism is as bad as sexism or racism. you're labelling people based only on one factor, and that's not fair!

 

as far as dating a 16 year old is concerned, if you really like her, then age isn't an issue. just because some people will frown upon what you're doing, doesnt mean its wrong. only you know what is right for you.

age is as much of an issue as you make it.

[Scout]

im 16! ive been through enough experiences in my life, and ive dealt with them as an adult, and i resent people labelling me because of my age! so some 16 year olds are morons, yes, but not all. its a horrible generalisation, and ageism is as bad as sexism or racism. you're labelling people based only on one factor, and that's not fair!

 

I never called 16 year olds "morons," never labeled anyone, and I'm certainly not indulging in "ageism." I think you took what I said entirely out of context and have reworded it in an extreme, heated way. Which quite frankly, does not help you prove your case as a teenager who handles situations in an adult manner.

[patch2006uk]

I never called 16 year olds "morons," never labeled anyone, and I'm certainly not indulging in "ageism." I think you took what I said entirely out of context and have reworded it in an extreme, heated way. Which quite frankly, does not help you prove your case as a teenager who handles situations in an adult manner.

 

i wasn't particularly aiming what i said at you, and im sorry if you thought that. it just really frustrates me when people disregard the fact that not everyone who's under a certain age isn't mature. in my mind, suggesting that a group of people who only have one thing in common have the same characteristics is wrong, and i found what was said about no 16 year olds being mature offensive. that's all i wanted to get accross. its hard work to get people to take you seriously when you're a certain age, and its annoying when people dont realise how much prejudice you can come up against.

 

again, sorry if you took offense at what i said

[DN]

All of us have been 16 and know what it was like not to be taken seriously. But you will also appreciate that people who are twice or three times that age have much more life experience from which to draw when making judgments. It's not so much a question of maturity as having 'been there, done that'.

 

I have known some very mature teenagers and some adults I wouldn't trust to cross the road safely. But when listening to the teenagers I also know that much of what they say is not necessarily drawn from their own experience but from what they think life ought to be and that is not always the same thing.

[patch2006uk]

Of course, and i dont think there is a substitute for life experience, but just because someone hasn't been alive for long doesn't mean they haven't had their share of life experience in just the same way that someone older has. there are more ways to judge maturity than based on age alone. thats all i wanted to say. its not helpful when people have pre-misconceptions about what people are goin to be like based on nothing more than their year of birth, you know?

 

anyway, ive sort of managed to change the topic, sorry guys!