markm Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 It's not the desire to come over or call, but she txt msgs you whenever they are not speaking. She is keeping you in the loop (so to speak), she knows she can come back to you whenever she wants to. Strict NC, no replies to her txt msgs or anyway she tries to contact you. You got it! Promise. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hey Mark...had 2 tell it like it is. She's a dumb girl. If it walks like a duck, talks like a duck...it ain't a pigeon. It's a duck. I only call 'em how I see 'em. MarkM's ex=dumb a*s bi*ch. Let her get hurt the way she's been hurting U. She'll realize, by then it'll be 2 late 4 her because you'll have already met a wonderful woman I bet! -Solo34 Link to comment
markm Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 She just called and left a voice mail. She asked if I could leave her mail out for her or if I would be around later to pick it up. She has some errands to run today, blah blah blah. Then she says, "hope things are going well, talk to you later" I'm not gonna respond. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 She just called and left a voice mail. She asked if I could leave her mail out for her or if I would be around later to pick it up. She has some errands to run today, blah blah blah. Then she says, "hope things are going well, talk to you later" I'm not gonna respond. Leave the mail outside in a plastic bag (maybe on the door handle) and definitely don't respond. She is looking for contact in some sort of way. Link to comment
markm Posted March 9, 2006 Author Share Posted March 9, 2006 She is looking for contact in some sort of way. Yeah, I guess. This was the first time she actually called, and not texted. I'm at home. Wonder if she'll just swing by? Doesn't matter anyway cause I'm going out for happy hour in 1 hour. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Doesn't matter anyway cause I'm going out for happy hour in 1 hour. Have one for me.... Link to comment
markm Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 Have one for me.... I will! BTW....is your avatar a pic of you? Cause I would totally date you! Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Arizona might be a bit of a hike.... Link to comment
markm Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 Ahhhh! What the hell is wrong with me? I'm starting to feel like hell again. I'm missing her, and feeling like I screwed up and all that stuff. I feel like crying right now, but I can't. Damn! Some of her family is in town and I wish I was hanging out with them. I can't stand that she is into another guy and they might be doing "stuff" together. I went out tonight and just felt lonely and sad. I wish she was back home so I could just cuddle with her. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 That's natural, but U can't let yourself think this way. It's her loss, and in time, she'll realize. She's lost right now, that's all. Give it time and just stay strong. -Solo34 Link to comment
Scout Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Mark, there is nothing wrong with you - you're going through a break up with someone who was addictive yet toxic for you to be with, and you're simply experiencing the withdrawals as you separate yourself once and for all from this relationship. You're going to have to expect these "waves" hon. The girl is going out with a complete tool now. You have to ask yourself, what does that honestly say about the level of her maturity? I know you loved her, but I also think you were addicted to the ups and downs of this relationship, and please believe me when I tell you that a mutually caring, mature relationship is so much more rewarding. I can personally attest to this, after years of dating people who would give and then withdraw, give and then withdraw...the relationship I am in now is completely opposite, and for the first time in my life, I feel true peace and security. But it took a firm resolve to walk away from the immature relationships I had before. And don't think some of them didn't come out of the woodwork once I finally found the gem of a boyfriend I have now! But once you're with someone who is 100% committed to your relationship, you look back on what you settled for before and say "Never again!" Now, you're just gonna have to pretend you're getting over an addiction...like cigarettes or something...and every time you get a wave, do something like work out, hike, cook a meal, put on a CD...anything to distract yourself that will also make you feel more positive. The waves DO go away, you've seen that already...and eventually, they'll be fewer and farther between until they stop completely. Ride it out! Link to comment
markm Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 Thanks you guys, you are so right. You all are such a big help! Link to comment
markm Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 So after she left that message yesterday about picking up her mail, I never contacted her back. Well, I just woke up and my phone had a text message on it. Apparently, she sent it last night at 11:30pm. She must have just gotten home from picking up her family from the airport (they are visiting from Wisconsin). She texts: "Thought you were here for second, there is a black mustang with silver letters in back like yours. License plate ends in LTT - Crazy!" Well, it wasn't me. My plate ends in LTL, and I was at Kona Grill all night. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Well, good job...let her just talk 2 an email or text address, etc. without getting a response. It's time U focus on U. -Solo34 Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 No doubt, man...And take care, I know you'll be alright. -Solo34 Link to comment
markm Posted March 10, 2006 Author Share Posted March 10, 2006 well she just text messaged me again. She asked..... "Did you leave my mail under the mat or are you home by chance?" I didn't respond. Her family flew down last night and is visiting for only the weekend. She's been totally looking forward to their visit, and I'm sure they have a ton of plans. Funny how she would want to get her mail now. The mail has been under the mat, all she has to do is pick it up. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Stick with NC...let her text msg you all she wants.....I think she is looking for a reaction (any kind of reaction) from you. Leave the mail under the mat and try to keep busy with your friends. Hope you are feeling better today. Chin up and stay strong Link to comment
markm Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Well, what do you know! Another Text message this morning, LOL. It's is raining here in Phoenix for the first time in 143 days (new record). It's been beautiful & sunny here for almost 1/2 a year with no rain until today. Just happens to be the weekend her family decided to visit from Wisconsin to get some sun, LOL! So anyhow, she texts me: "What do I do with my family on a day like today?" Why are you asking me? I have ignored her last 4 text messages and voice mail. But, she keeps on texting. I'm gonna keep ignoring her, unless she wants to talk about getting back together. Link to comment
Nathalie1970 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Good for you. See the more you don't give her a reaction, the more she wants to contact you. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Mark, I'm proud of you. You're putting yourself first here, and that is not a selfish thing at all, instead, it's finally realizing that you are not this girl's puppet on a string. I don't care what you say about withholding emotions from her at one point, based on this entire thread, you have been a supportive, loyal boyfriend. Please, please keep yourself available for a girl who really deserves this. I'm sorry, but your ex does not. She is nowhere near as mature as you are. I'm not saying that makes her a bad person, it just means she is...well...not really very evolved. She is not even close to being the emotionally mature woman you not only deserve, but will FIND if you stay determined to keep out of this toxic relationship once and for all. And hey, is that you in that pic? What a happy, cute looking guy! Now stay strong!!!! Link to comment
markm Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Thanks Scout! Yeah, that's me in the pic She just text me again! "It's snowing at Superstition Mountain!" That is pretty cool, since it doesn't snow here, ever. Still, I'm ignoring it. Link to comment
Scout Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Keep ignoriing it. Trust me, if you can get through a week of ignoring her texts, she's going to be at your doorstep. And when that happens, you'll be faced with your biggest challenge yet: gently, but firmly letting her know this relationship has finally run its course, and it's best for both of you to realize that, take some hard lessons learned, and walk away. I guarantee you'll be the only one really applying any lessons learned, based on her choice in a new guy. What's more, I can almost guarantee that if you give in, she'll drop you again if the new guy snaps his fingers. Don't sell yourself down the river anymore. Link to comment
solo34 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Great points, Scout! -Solo34 Link to comment
markm Posted March 11, 2006 Author Share Posted March 11, 2006 Well, she just left me another text message, and also a voice message. The text was: "We're here driving around, don't want to hike in the snow and rain!" The voicemail was: "Hi Mark, it's me. Just wanted to know where that bowling alley was that we went to. There's not much to do on a rainy day, and I forget where it is. I have no way to go online and look it up. So, if you could give me a call that would be great. Thanks." What the heck is all that? Stop by a gas station or pick up a phone book and look up "Bowling Alleys". LOL. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now