A dent in his shining armor

[FoxLocke]

Okay, recently I was hanging out with the guy that I fancy in the library.

 

He asked me whether or not I still needed to be tutored in my trig class. I said yes, even though I am a whiz at trigonometry ...

 

So, we started talking and getting on great like we usually do when his cellular phone rang. Anyway, on the other end was one of his female friends.

 

Apparently, she loaned him twenty dollars a few days ago to buy some groceries. So she called him up to ask for her money back. He excused himself and went to the back of the library. Why he did that I don't know because everyone could hear him cursing her out on the phone. I mean he was seriously swearing at her, and telling her that he was helping me with math homework and etc...

 

So I turned around and all the library patron's eyes were on me. I just sorta shrugged my shoulders...

 

Anyway, he came back and I asked him was he okay...

 

Then he starts talking about how the woman in question is trying to bully him for some money...

 

Longstory short the girl comes in and he starts cussing at her while grudgingly giving her her money. I'm sorta sitting there in stunned silence...

Then, to cap it off, he turns to me and says, "She should learn to know her place as a WOMAN. I'm a man she can't talk to me like that. She should read her bible! How she is behaving is not biblical.."

 

I was floored...So I said, "Dude...You that was her money. If she loaned it to you you were OBLIGATED to pay it back."

 

Then he starts going on a tirade about how she was trying to disrespect his manhood(mind you, he is a very effiminate closeted gay man) and blase', blase', blase'....

So, I said, "Look, I'll see you in class. you must be having a bad day..."

 

Later on he sorta apologized for how he acted...

 

Even though I have a crush on him his behavior and sexist bible banging attitude turned me right the hell off.

I can tell he is really trying to convert himself to hetero, and he is really into the bible...

Now I am wondering could I be in a relationship with someone who is at this confusing stage in his life?

[friscodj]

Now I am wondering could I be in a relationship with someone who is at this confusing stage in his life?

 

Sure...if you want to be treated like the girl on the phone... Is that what you want? I hope not...

 

The best measure of a potential partner is how they treat other people. Be thankful you saw this happen before you got involved with him...

[Scout]

Well, the Bible also says men should treat women with tenderness and patience. So, he's striking out there, too...

[LiquidCherry]

I heard once that you can always judge a man by how they treat others... And eventually you'll end up being treated the same way.

 

I'm also recalling: "thou shal not steal" (and isn't not returning something borrowed stealing?)

[EnglishSilver]

Wow, big alarm bells! that would put me right off too.

[KIDD]

I have to agree that this would turn me off. But you can always be his friend if you want or not. It's always good to really get to know a person before you try pursuing him also. I look back on some of my crushes & I'm glad that nothing came off because of what I found out later about them.

[keenan]

Wow. Ick. That's not a dent, it's a pothole. You're too good for this guy, FoxLocke. Sure, you *could* have a relationship with him, but why the heck would you want to?? He obviously has battles to fight with himself, but you shouldn't have to join his army.

[FoxLocke]

I agree everyone. The more I think about it the more I feel like he has serious issues.

 

First he has to acknowledge to himself he's gay, and then he should get over his sexist attitude towards women. Because that really ticked me off.

 

I will never loan him two red nickels if he is that funny with other people's money!

 

Well, I think I dodged a bullet and I know for sure that I am not going to tell him I'm gay.

 

Well, I guess I have to look around again.

[Jinx]

I do think if you want to be friends with him in the future, these things need nipped in the bud and fast, especially the sexist behavior. The money is bad but you'll find that just about anywhere and a lot of the time people get over it.

 

While he is in this phase of Biblical this and that some will stick and some will not. The Bible is good to a degree on morals and to dos and not to dos but certain things just shouldn't be followed, and he is taking in a lot more bad than good.

 

I also get this impression it is not just the bible to blame. I would say it is him, and using the bible as a cover. I've known enough people in my life that are religious and sexist isn't a prequisite for practice, even though it is more common with certain communities than others.

 

This most likely is just a denial period, which everyone treats differently before they come out, but this is a tad extreme in the straight masquerade. It doesn't matter if he was asexual, the behavior is unacceptable for any gender or any orientation. It is counterproductive in society at the very least. Really, not many people want to work with a sexist, racist, phobic, or any other ist you can think of that come up unless they too follow those footsteps. So he is just going to be hurting himself by treating women with a second class citizen mentality.

 

At that rate, he'll start spewing homophobic slurs to nicely tie off the denial package. I know a lot of people who when reaching that climax of denial become an extreme in all regards, so I wouldn't put that by either, nonetheless, I remember myself before coming out. All I can say is - If me could of smacked me upside the head for logical purposes, I would of back then.