I dreamt about her..

[Casket]

Its verging on 3 months now, and today i cant get her out of my head. I know ive posted many topics about her, but i dont think she will ever get out of my head. I keep on thinking about the "what ifs" and "if we were together nows". I dont think im ever gunna get her out of my head!!!!!

 

I hate love

[Hunny1607307342]

the worst thing is when you dream about your ex and your still together in your dream! Oh my god that is the worst thing when u wake up!!!!! Thats what happened 2 me a couple of times before. It kills.

 

But listen, at the end of the day, we have to remind ourselves we have only two choices:

 

 

1) Dwelling on our ex forever...questioning "what if"...wondering...hoping...failing...

 

2) Turn this break-up into a break-over and live life!

 

 

And THAT'S IT. No more options. For us who are emotionally damaged, both options make us feel extremely queasy, but NEWSFLASH that's why it's so hard, there's NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN DO! Guys... we have to choose the better of the worst... So to a mind which is not emotionally damaged, which seems like the LOGICAL option? I don't know about you but I think I choose number 2).

[Casket]

I did dream about her... and we were together

 

I know i need to get over her... but how???? All anyone says is "time", and it just looks like that option just aint gunna work for me!

[Diggitydave]

that happens to me too a lot. like 4 times in the past few weeks. Nothing you can do about it and unfortunately it usually ruins your day. When you wake up after a dream like that or of one where the other person is cheating or doing something horrible, wake up, say it's just a dream, doesn't mean anything, go do like 15 pushups or some kind of quick hardcore workout and then get in the shower. keep moving fast until you forget about it.

[Hunny1607307342]

Well, I'm in the same boat as you. It WILL take time, but the question is, how are you going to cope within that time? After a while, the things you keep thinking about, just get old. You will keep thinking, wondering, etc. but you'll do it so much, your brain will do over time, you'll sub-consciously drive yourself mad, over and over... BUT it will get to a point where it will be OLD NEWS because of how much its run through your head. I find exercise EXTREMELY helpful for stopping your self going "why, why, why". It's temporary, but if your having a day whereby you keep going round in circles get to the gym and release tension. GO SHOPPING. Retail therapy is great. Boost your self confidence by buying something amazing and reminding yourself how good-looking you are. Just think if you keep dwelling on it, you'll never come out...you need to break over. But as they say, you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it. I'm seeing my ex everyday at college so I'm trying to build a bridge but keep being held back! lol Good luck xxx

[Diggitydave]

well everyones mourning period is a different amount of time. I am literally because i talked to my ex for 3 months after we broke up on DAY 1. I had to break up with her for almost 3 months straight, every day. that is what it felt like.

 

IF you are at the point where you can see your ex every day and be fine, that is awesome. I wish i was at that point.

 

 

David

[byates5637]

I have suffered very much from dreams of being with ex's. I broke up with my ex-ex-girlfriend 3 years ago. The dreams were bad. I got a new girlfriend and the dreams would keep coming even when i was sleeping next to my new girlfriend. As time passes the dreams become less frequent and you care about them less and less. I would say it took me about 1.5 years until i was totally over it, but after the first couple months it get much much easier. I still occasionaly have a dream about her to this day, but it no longer bothers me. I am content with only memories and nothing more.

 

I just broke up with my new girl (ive been dating her for 3 years, by new i mean not the one from above paragraph.) and i am having the dreams about her now. I know it sucks, but i just remember that everyone does heal eventualy.

 

good luck!

-brandon

[ginger25]

Agree with Hunny exercise is one of the best things you can do, apart from when you bump into your ex at the gym looking all sweaty like I did! Anyway, I read somewhere that you should try and give yourself a time limit each day for how long you are allowed to think about your ex, even try putting an elastic band on your wrist and twanging it to remind you to stop. This might work for some people. Unfortunately I have never been able to have such control over my thoughts or emotions.

 

Try your very best not to think "what if?" because you are just tormenting yourself with a question that you will never ever have the answer to. I think getting over someone is about 80% time and 20% mental attitude. If you try to think positively that you are going to get over them, and more importantly that you want to get over them, then that will help immensly. I'm not saying you don't want to get over your ex, it's just that I know there have been times when I haven't wanted to let go of the person so on some level I probably haven't want to get over them. Sometimes it takes time to get to that stage; when you are so sick of hearing yourself talk about them and them taking up so much space in your head that you know you are banging your head against a brick wall. Good luck.

[deejay74]

Sometimes it takes time to get to that stage; when you are so sick of hearing yourself talk about them and them taking up so much space in your head that you know you are banging your head against a brick wall. Good luck.

 

i am pretty much at this stage right now. as i posted earlier, my mind is my enemy right now. the obsessive thoughts i am having about my ex, especially the ones where i am speculating are the ones that are driving me crazy the most.

 

i am very good at dwelling on things and i have always had a hard time not dwelling. it's ingrained in my brain like it's hardwired or something. i've always had problems overcoming emotional traumas. this is no exception.

 

what pains me the most is knowing my ex doesn't give a rat's * * * * * or even a sliver of thought about me when i did nothing wrong and i was completely in love with her. bah!

[Diggitydave]

Hey "iwantherback" I'm in the same boat as you. don't forget to keep paddlin I feel the same exact way! EXACTLy the obsessive thinking, hardwiring of the brain etc. One thing you have to remember is that in Christianity we talk about seeds a lot. Being with your ex planed a lot of seeds in your brain and created a stronghold. You can't knock a forrest down in a day. The less and less you think about it and the more time goes on and the less contact you have with her those plants will begin to uproot. Just make sure you plant good new seeds in the meantime. Focusing on self esteem, helping and loving others, and accomplishments, not just for you but to help other people as well. Hope to talk to you soon.

[ocrob]

I think what you are going through is normal. I have gone NC with my ex for about 3 months and we have been broken up for over a year. Lately, I have been thinking about her a lot. I have had dreams about her as well. It really sucks. It is such a mind game because you wonder if it is a sign to contact her. I was so tempted to contact my ex last week, but did not. It is sad because I would take her back in a second, but obviously she does not want to be with me. It is hard and we all go through it. I seriously wonder if I will ever stop loving her. I have a feeling that I won't, but I still have to stay strong as we all do.

[red10]

i with you casket - sucks to have dreams about your ex....doesn't our mind think about them enough when we're awake???

 

i haven't seen my ex in a little over a month, EVERY morning i wake up around 5:30 -6 am...dreaming of him and he wakes me up. i have different dreams, him with her - who i have no idea what she looks like, and her kid, and him with me....i've had enough.

 

as iwantherback stated, my mind is my worst enemy right now. it's so true - and trying to control that is so hard.

[bcuzitwasfun]

Hi all,

 

My worst dream (a nightmare really) was about her new bf and I fighting. What woke me up was her crying for him. That has been the worst setback for me so far.

 

However, I must say that happened a couple of weeks ago. I have made tremendous progress as that has been the last dream I have had where she was in it. I still think about her sometimes, but my thoughts about her, us are changing. There isn't that much resentment, sorrow or wondering. Most thoughts lately have been the good times we had in our relationship. Strangely enough, these thoughts don't bother me or make me wish for things. I am feeling better!

 

I'm finding out that it does take time, and I'm taking the time she told me she needed to make myself positive, stronger and better.

 

Hang in there and keep on going!

bcuzitwasfun