xspiraldeclinex Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 Ok...I have this reoccurring problem. I like a girl and would like to date her so i try to get to know her and stuff...but then it's like...i don't get anywhere. I just get the ol' best friend thing...you know what I'm talking about...will tell you everything but would never imagine dating you in a thousand years. Yeah, that's how this goes. It happens any time that I try to get close to a girl...it sucks terribly. What am I doing wrong here? Link to comment
brando Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 Try teasing girls a little. Like you would a kid sister or cousin. Make them laugh, and talk to more than one at a time. Try to think of it as having fun, and not worry so much about the results. Link to comment
Dreng3333 Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 This is a very very common thing. Basically when it happens what it means is that the girl does care about you (otherwise she just wouldn't be friends with you) but either is preoccupied with someone else, or doesn't see you as her 'type'. If it is because she is already preoccupied with someone else, then you could either: 1. Remain her friend but move on and try to find someone else to date or 2. Wait it out and be there to support her (though if she also considers you not her 'type' this would just put you farther into the hole) If it is because you aren't her 'type' then you could: 1. Spend more time with her and hint to her that you would like to become more than friends, which could plant a seed in her mind causing her to think about you differently (though in some cases that could be a longshot) 2. Space yourself a little bit. Show her what it is like without you. This may cause her to realize that maybe she does like you but was simply taking you for granted. (When I was in this situation this is the route I took and my best friend did come around and realize that we were perfect for eachother. We are still together) I know that the situation can be frustrating, but as long as you truly care about her and think you two would be good together, it is not a dead end, only an obstacle. Good Luck! Link to comment
xspiraldeclinex Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 well see i do that...im very outgoing and i talk to everybody i see. i go to a small school and id say im pretty much friends with everybody. there isnt anybody i dislike, so im always nice and hardly in a bad mood. so im always talking to people and girls are no different. i talk to them all the time. and i tend to flirt and stuff like that...i dont know. maybe im just not a like-able (as in going out, like.) guy. Link to comment
xspiraldeclinex Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 yeah dreng, that seems to be exactly what is going on. and man...ive tried each thing you've suggested. it just doesnt happen. Link to comment
brando Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 I highly doubt your not likeable. And it seems you don't believe that as well, which is great. I don't know, i guess sometimes we need to let go of the reigns and let things happen. Link to comment
xspiraldeclinex Posted February 14, 2006 Author Share Posted February 14, 2006 i guess that is one thing i DONT do...let go of the reigns. im always thinking...its crazy how much i think through situations. its even more crazy, to me at least (probably because im doing the thinking), that it doesnt work out after ive thought up every possible scenario. maybe ill do that. just let things go. Link to comment
tmp0620 Posted February 14, 2006 Share Posted February 14, 2006 Letting things go is always a good idea if you ask me. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 23, 2006 Share Posted February 23, 2006 Ending up as friends says nothing about who you are and that you aren't attractive. It's not about being nice or being friends. It's simple a matter of not being compatible. Enjoy the friendship for what it is. In time you will find someone else, someone better with whom you can have a relationship with. For some it seems to take a long time to get that. But when you do, its worth it. Link to comment
arrowbee Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 Physical contact is very important. If you haven't held her hand or put your arm around her waist at least once by the end of the 2nd date/meeting/whatever, odds are you two are headed for just-friends. Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 24, 2006 Share Posted February 24, 2006 If you haven't held her hand or put your arm around her waist at least once by the end of the 2nd date/meeting/whatever, odds are you two are headed for just-friends. Or one or both people could be incredible shy and nervous. Doesn't mean it ends as only friendship. Link to comment
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