Breaking Up Be4 a Holiday

[romanticlover]

Hey guys, just wanted to let you guys know that I have been getting better since my recent heartbreak. I am still very upset and still think of her, but as time goes on it's not as hard. As you know, myspace was a source of me seeing what my ex was up to. Well she changed her status to single, took my pics down accept for a good one of me. The heading under it says " He Hates Me ;-(" i swear she wrote that....What is that supposed to mean and why would she do that? Yes I am torn and mad at her, so I am kinda glad she sees my pain.

Anyways, the main topic is who has gotten heartbroken just before valentines day, christmas, new years? My recent ex just broke up with me and I had a huge valentines day planned for us. I spent $150 on a spa gift card, $400 on a new suit, was going to pay around $200 for dinner and whatever else I was going to buy her. Its going to be rough for me tomorrow as it is the romance holiday. Have any of you ever been heartbroken before a holiday? How did you handle it?

[deejay74]

hey rl, i feel you on the myspace/friendster thing. i deleted her from both my lists and i actually felt kind of guilty for it. i guess it's best cuz now i won't be able to see any updates she's made (on friendster it tells you who on your lists has made up dates).

 

anyway, i got dumped the day before new year's eve and it was excruciating! i had plans for us to celebrate the new year together and i was looking forward to it so much but i spent it with a friend. even though i wasn't alone, it was the worst new years i've ever had.

 

since then, i've had 2 major set backs and now i am trying to promise myself i won't make the same mistakes again (we'll see!). tomorrow will difficult for me too my friend.

 

just know that we're all here to support each other. i am sure i'll be posting on here tomorrow.

 

funny thing is, her birthday is on the 23rd and i am not gonna do anything!

 

i really hope i can remain NC for life on this one, as hard as it may be.

[melrich]

That's tough, days like Valentine's Day, Birthdays, Xmas etc are not happy events for everyone.

 

I think you just need to find something to do that will take your mind off things, maybe see a movie, something like that. Don't fall into the temptation of using the day to wallow in misery about what might have been...especially since you have been going so well.

[melrich]

The heading under it says " He Hates Me

 

Oh, also try not to read too much into what people do in the immediate aftermath of a break up. Often they are not thinking straight or they do things and say things that help them cope without really thinking about it's impact on the other half.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I decided to divorce my wife right before xmas.

 

I got through it by doing the things I enjoyed, and looking at the bright side of things.

 

I fought tooth-and-nail and got an Xbox360 for myself (2 days before xmas) and played it like it was going out of style.

 

My sister came over for Xmas and cooked me diner (which was really nice of her).

 

This is the first valentines day that I'm gonna spend alone in lik 6 years, and so I'm looking forward to it.

 

Good luck.

[Amore]

My boyfriend broke up with me a few days before Christmas. I had spent weeks making him his gift (a blanket) and he had bought tickets for a Broadway show in New York City. Worst part is that he did it online because he didn't want to break up when we saw each other on Christmas Eve while exchanging gifts.

 

But the gifts and the fact it was Christmas really didn't mean anything to me... I lost my boyfriend, my best friend, my love... it hurts no matter what time of year it is.

[Benny1077]

Yea, this is also my first "single" Valentine's Day in about 7 years. Yea it sucks breaking up before a holiday (my ex broke it off 12-18) but I'm just gonna treat tomorrow like a regular Tuesday, go to work and then maybe go out with my buddies. Things turn around, they really do...focus on the positives.

[annie24]

Hmm... yes, I've been broken up with before a holiday and I just gave his gift to a male relative, who loved it!

 

As for your gifts, spend the $150 spa certificate on yourself (or give it to your sister). You can take back the suit. Or, alternatively, you'll have another occasion to wear it at some point. And the $200 on dinner? Buy yourself an X-box

 

You're going to be just fine

[RayKay]

Yes, I have had breakups before holidays....even worse is finding out to spare your feelings they stayed with you for the holiday and broke up afterwards, knowing the whole time they wanted it to end!

 

There is honestly never a good time for a breakup!

 

I say you give the spa certificate to a friend, or yourself - how about your mom even!

 

The suit will be worn again, it can always be worn again...and treat yourself to something special with the money

[romanticlover]

Heh....Well to be honest, I have every damn game system there is lol. I could do a million things I guess with my time. Just since I am a romantic...(hense the name, lol) I will be thinking of what a wonderful evening it could have been. But to be honest, here is a scenario that could have happened. Remember a few posts ago I was describing the whole sex issue where she felt I was pressuring her, she wasn't in the mood, needed to get her passion back, etc etc...WELL..I thought about this and really could forsee this. Take her out to a beautiful manor for dinner, exchange gifts, be romantic, have a few drinks, get buzzed, feel good......now at this point, I am thinking...YES...it's valentines day, We are going to have passionate sex and make love all night. This is honestly what I would be thinking on the way, besides what a great time I am having and how much love I feel. Well we get back to her place, she is tired, and just lays with me, and nothing happens because she is not in her "mood"..... Me getting verry disappointed and being very upset. I actually felt this alot. I could so see that happening and totally making the night be different from what I expected. Now I know it's not good to expect, and I have that problem, but I mean come on. What couple would not plan for that on v day, and especially since we did not have sex for like 3-4 weeks. To be honest, I am kind of glad that I don't have to think about that and worry about things going that way. That's how she was and who on earth would want to feel that way 24-7 like I did when I was with her towards the end. So as for tomorrow, I'll play games, and have a 40 year old virgin play session I guess lol.....But yeah it's gonna b rough.

[RayKay]

romanticlover - I imagine it will indeed be "freeing" to not feel that rejection and disappointment....and in time you will really see that.

[Dako]

I got dumped in September so by Christmas I was ripe for the picking. I cried and drank and smoked and stayed out late wandering the streets and hating myself for being such a putz.

It worked! Now I'm happy, well-adjusted and my car does wheelies.

 

Actually, I dread tomorrow too. Maybe a threeway with lefty and righty.

Probably just turn in early after reading the paper.

[romanticlover]

Left and righty??? My love life is so bad my hand rejects me....lol... Oh yeah, I am the king of one liners. Since this forum is mainloy about sharing sadness, I might as well share my dry sense of humor with you guys..lol... Ok here's one more..... My friends tell me I should pratice my pick up lines in the mirror.....I do, but somehow I STILL get rejected.......LOL..See, humor cheers us all up..

[octopus]

Romantic lover, I got dumped a week before his birthday, which I'd planned MONTHS in advance and gotten an amazing combination of gifts...which he will probably enjoy with his next catch, because they were for both of us to do together. Then also, this was right before new year's which I had changed international travel plans to spend with him (of course, before he broke up), and I ended up moving out of his house that day instead of celebrating the new year together. ,

 

I know it is cheesy, but really what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. When all these happened (and I was posting them here almost every day) I thought I was going to die, but today, as I remember them, I feel nothing. ANd I was a woman crying over him 3 days ago. Things change so fast - we don't realize it but there is a very active healing process going on behind the scenes. So what if it's valentine's day. This too, will pass.

[Süsser Tod]

Meh, another crappy valentines day...

 

 

It has never been a good day for me. So I'll go to work, get myself inmersed on my work, then maybe go to the gym and then go home and study for my certification. If I'm feeling crappy, happily I still have some sleeping pills left, so I can forget about the stupid day.

 

 

My best Valentines EVER was 4 years ago. I was so depressed the previous week to Valentines that I got really sick, so I spent all day on bed, sleeping with fever and can't remember anything from Feb 13th to 15th of 2002. That was bliss, that day simply didn't existed for me!

[romanticlover]

I work, but then what? lol...... Maybe I need to stay in cause if I go out and see couples, it will make me sad. I'm wondering if my ex will attempt tp make any myspace comments to me, probably not, but I am sure she will send something 2 everyone else. I'm waiting to see if her looser ex sends her something.