I see the matrix...

[eviljedi]

Hey, I'm just back from a party and feeling weird. I went with my friends, I like them all but lately I have been feeling more and more distant from them. I got a little drunk, so did they. When I was sitting on a sofa in this bar, something very strange happened. It was like someone had just flicked on the light switch in my mind. I understood everything that was going on. I could of slept with any girl their tonight...I didn't want to. Most guys might say I'm crazy not wanting to sleep with hot girls. I feel like I have moved past that. I see the matrix. All the girls their have their * * * * out and they are gagging for it...they are so easy, it sickens me. All the guys just want to have sex with anyone, they don't care. Heck, I don't blame them it's a natural urge.

 

I don't want to sound big headed but I feel 'better' than all these people. I don't want to go to bars/clubs anymore. Everyone is so sad looking for someone to F***. I just want to meet a girl that knows what I'm thinking, and is on the same page. I started talking to this girl about this and she looked at me like I was a freak...she was so dumb. I feel like humans are just like animals, no difference. Animals eat, sleep and have sex. That all humans do really. There is no point to it all. I spent the last year studying social dynamics and everything about how to 'get laid' and make friends etc. It now seems so mechanical to me, I know exactly what is going on in any given interaction. People are so predicable.

 

AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THIS!?

 

I guess I want to know the meaning of life, but no one will be able to tell me. I used to just want to live a happy life, get married, and have kids...all the usual stuff. Now I can't see the point. I can manipulate most people to do things I want them to do, using different NLP techniques (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). It's boring socializing with people now. Everyone is boring. People will read this and think that's not true you can't understand every social situation etc. I can, I do. I feels like a magic trick, when you are shown how to do it, it looses its effect. The same applies to socializing. I feel like no one understands how I feel. What's the point in having sex, having a realationship? Maybe I am different from everyone else. All 6 billion of you guys. You are all the same, doing the same * * * * all the time.

 

I am a social guy, I used to love going out to bars and 'picking up' girls. All my friends still do it. I hate it now. It's too easy, the girls don't challenge me. I have never felt a strong bond or emotion connection with any girl in my entire life. I kept telling myself that the next one would be different, but they were always the same. Anytime I meet someone who even remotely understands me they end up thinking I'm an * * * * * * * or something stupid.

 

I seen a girl that I thought might of been different tonight. I work next to her. I have spoken to her a few times. I thought she liked me. Instead of me going to her (Like all males of the species do). I waited to see if she would talk to me...she didn't. She was dancing with other guys...she kept looking at me. I knew what to say, when to say it. I could have been in her house right now. But theirs no point...I would only hurt her, or she would hurt me.

 

Maybe I'm going to live my whole life feeling alone. I'm sorry if this is hard to understand, I'm drunk. I used to be a complete social reject. I couldn't talk to girls. I thought it would be cool to have any girl I wanted. It isn't when all you want girls for is their looks. It was good at first. I was sleeping with lots of girls. Now it's just boring. ANY girl I meet if I do things right then we will end up sleeping together. It's so predictable that I can't imagine ever meeting a girl again, and actually liking her for her. I see the way girls look at me, I'm not an attractive guy, but I have an aura I guess. If only they knew how sad I was underneath, I am just covering it up with this fake cockiness and confidence.

 

If anyone has any clue about what I'm talking about, please give me comfort or advice.

[Darketernal]

Nothing in the universe can make you happy exept love.

 

Life works like a mirror , what you reflect on others will reflect back on you, thereforeeee if you become a loving and helping person , light love and happyness will fill your life. Same counts for hatred and selfishness, if you emit that on others then darkness,empty cold and lonelyness will fill your life It explains why you feel so unsatisfied with no matter what you do, you see love is for the soul as what gas is for a car, without love a soul won't budge as a car won't move , the car is

 

there but its not doing anything, same counts for your soul that is just rotting in its current condition. The lonyness slowly eats in you, the solution? GO VOLENTEER, and you must think im crazy for saying that. But when you think closer, if you help someone, you make that person really really happy, and it will provide you with social contacts which will stop making you feel lonely, love is a continues effort , but the rewards are well worth it. There is so much gratitude if you help someone out, its not even far away. Even just by helping people here on e-alone can spark a

 

difference in giving your life forfillment because someone actually could make a life saving altering change for the good. And life is worth living if you live in happyness, so by loving and helping everyone you can find forfillment in your life that bars,easy girls,booze can not provide you. Those things do NOT fuel the soul like love only can.

[Gunther]

Though there is validity to what eternal has said, allow me to offer you a different view on it. The main thing here, is everything you are attempting socially has become so easy that you find no interest in it. This was pretty much spelled out by you already. The only logical solution is to find a challenge. sense you are a sociologist, I'm sure you know that happiness in humans is often defined by pain. To find happiness one must first suffer for the end result. This may seem mechanical to you, but it's how it is done.

 

For instance you stated that you liked that girl that you work with, you failed that challenge by not getting her to talk to you first. Now if she had, that would have brought you great happiness wouldn't it?

 

You hopefully know I'm not just picking at the wound of her not talking to you first, the point is that having that girl talk to you first would have brought you happiness, but she didn't. thereforeee there is still some aspect of social interaction you don't comprehend, or at least cannot manipulate fully. Which is a good thing. Humans need to have challenges or things that they can't comprehend or life looses interest. {

 

But I don't know if it's just you and me or you, me, and everyone else; but I don't think that it would be that hard for me to get laid every night by a different girl, if I were truly inclined to do so. When a woman goes to a bar or a club, they arn't coming for the free peanuts. They are coming for the beer and the guys. Now you sound pretty smart, but this may all well just be drunk talk. But it sounds like you really just need to find a girl, who you can't just jump into bed with. Maybe you should try more sophisticated girls? maybe someone in college that can understand more of what your putting down. But try to stay away from the co-ed dorm rooms.

[hosswhispra]

Sounds like you are trying to understand "we're all here," which is something I'd like to know too. Maybe, just perhaps--we're not meant to understand or comprehend 'everything' while we're here, on earth as mortal beings.

 

It's actually a really good thing that you have found out what has importance to you. So many others never get to the point where they figure that stuff out.

 

Have a good night,

hosswhispra

[southpaw]

Do you like rock climbing, skiing, snowboarding or some other sport that allows you a little alone/nature time? Perhaps you could take some philosophy courses or challenge yourself in some way besides the social realm. I have no idea what interests you but clearly social dynamics have worn thin (I prefer other sorts of dynamical systems...like an anasov diffeomorphism on the torus The little glimpse of your life that you shared is understandably unfulfilling. I'd suggest stretching yourself a bit before dismissing all the world has to offer on the basis of the club scene.

My boyfriend is kind of like you in that he's turned down a fair share of girls for sex because he wanted something a little deeper than that. It's worked out so far, he builds autonomous robots and I'm off in math grad school. We play well together, not that finding a relationship is all that important at the moment but I bet you'll find a good fit in the future (there are other guys out there besides you that are more than just a penis looking for shelter). I think there are many places you're more likely to bump into a girl that will intellectually kick your * * * than at a bar or club.

So yeah, maybe challenge yourself and try and grow in other ways for now and not only will you shake some of that Fitzgerald-ish boredom but maybe you'll meet an interesting female while you're entertaining yourself.

[Goincrazy]

I feel ya man... I'm a freshmen in college and I've come to learn that everyone's current goal in life around here is to get wasted and laid. Sure, there have been people that resisted the cultural trend for a few months, but everyone eventually "crossed the dark side" so to speak. I've been lucky enough to find one girl that was different but that relationship is a thing of the past. Keep searching, there are some out there few and far between.