First time flop - any advice?

[shoong]

hi all,

 

lets get this over with first - i'm a 28 yr old man & I've never had sex with a woman.

 

Imagine my surprise then when I got friendly with a lovely girl on Friday night & we ended up goin back to hers - so far so good. I wanted to prolong foreplay as much as I could because I enjoy it. I was able to get semi hard but not enough & a few foolish attempts to penetrate. We put this down to the alcohol I had consumed & used my fingers on her which she loved.

 

I visit her the next day & bless her, she jumps me as soon as we get in from a meal. Same again - despite oral & everything else I can't get past the 'semi' phase. I'd had nothing to drink & was completely sober. I was embarrased. Sunday morning, wake up together, same again.

 

What the hell is wrong with me? I should be desperate to get wood & have full sex, why couldn't I do it? I like her, she likes me & I didn't even get morning wood on Sunday morn. Also, when I got home I tried to masterbate but , yep, same again. Luckily she was very understanding & said she had a good time but I want to be able to go the whole hog.

 

Am I impotent? Has this happened before I get a chance to 'use it'. Has anybody else had a similar experience & do you have any advice? I thought it may be because I was nervous, but I didn't feel nervous. Help!

 

shoong

[dr_skier]

bud, it's probably preformance anxiety. Go to your doc, he has sample pacs of viagra, cialis etc, perhaps u just need a little jumpstart

[AwdreeHpburn]

I agree with the doc. Try not to focus so much on it but I suggest a "booster" too. Sounds easy nuff to remedy. And if the girl is patient, you're golden dude. Just talk to your doctor.

[ThE_ReJecT]

hi all,

 

lets get this over with first - i'm a 28 yr old man & I've never had sex with a woman.

 

 

wow.........

[Ash]

Did you masturbate before you met her? If so, this would rule out impotence I should think.

 

You're likely thinking about this too much, and it's starting to really worry you. It's actually more common than you might think. If you can, give yourself some time to get more used to her and the situation. Once you feel more comfortable and relaxed, things should work better. And hopefully if you keep her happy in the meantime in other ways, she won't bolt.

[shoong]

She says she HAS SOME but are there any dangers to be wary of? how long does it take to kick in? I think docs is out of the question, im in the UK & its difficult to get a docs appointment in 2 weeks let alone get any drugs. thanks for the replies y'all.

[ocrob]

I would say it is just anxiety. I bet she could get you hard, if she tries. Just keep trying bro. If you fall off the horse, you have to get back up. When you are not with her and think about having sex with her do you get hard?

[NJRon]

If you are 28 and in good health (now... don't hold me to this because I am not a physician, however I have takin both viagra and cialis) you shouldn't have a problem. Viagra, while powerful in effect, gave me a hangover and had to be taken an hour or so before hand and I definitely wouldn't recommend it with alcohol. Cialis was much milder and, though the effects weren't as 'strong' as viagra, it did last over the course of a few days and could be taken well in advance...

[shoong]

as always, thanks for the advice. I don't plan to drink as it seems to cancel out wood. Maybe some wine though

[Pixiemeat]

It's most likely worry over how you'll perform. Relax, she's keen, so are you, let your bits do the talking (hmm, getting strange images of talking genitals now).

 

Good luck

[ShySoul]

Anxiety strikes again. A person's first time can be difficult and scary for anyone, causing them to be nervous and anxious. There is also probably a little extra nervousness because you are 28 and you feel embarrassed about not having had sex yet. Furthermore, you just met this women and may not be completely comfortable around her yet, to the point where you can actually have sex. It might be best to slow things down and go out with her more. Once things are going well, and you are really comfortable with each other, it may be easier. The other thing is to just not think about having sex, to live in the moment and go with the flow. More you think, more nervous you make yourself, and more difficult the experience becomes.

[traz]

Same problem the first few times I had sex...terrible feeling when you can't perform, and unfortunately it causes a snowball effect of low self-confidence. Just get comfortable with her and relax, it'll work itself out more often than not.