Is this my fault or his? part2

[adidas7fire]

alright.. i got some responses on the first issue.. but here's the question that i asked. not be be forward or anything, but we were laying in bed a night after one show and i just casually asked him, "do you ever imagine having sex with other women while having sex with me"? he replied, "yes..." and i asked him "who?..." and he was silent for a moment and then replied, "whoever comes to my mind first." i was in complete shock and didn't know what to say. he saw the reaction on my face and i was so heartbroken and began to sob because i wasn't expecting that from a guy that was supposed in love with me. he abruptly said that he didn't know it was going to be a trick question, i took it the wrong way, and that he didn't mean anything by his response. i feel so hurt anytime i mention this to my friends that try to comfort me. i have talked to him about this but both of honestly just don't want to think about it. i know that being a musician is a big part of his life but he doesn't have to exclude me when it comes to things... maybe he could include me to help with stuff. i mean, i do take the pictures that they put on their website... so i do contribute to the whole band seen. but about this whole thing... sitting down and talking with him seems to go in one ear and out the other. he still loves me, he says, and i love him so much that i can't even bear the thought to find someone else... because i am still madly head over heels for this guy. am i crazy? (by the way, thanks to all that have posted on my first message... this forum is really helping me)

[secret_agent_man]

I'm not sure how he meant that, but I can assure you it's somewhat normal. It's an instinct thing, I guess. I don't really know, I've never felt that way, but I've heard of it before...

 

Don't worry just yet...

 

S.A.M.

[adidas7fire]

so do you think that i am overreacting or is this just a guy thing? i mean, it bothers me yes to a point but when it comes right down to it, he's with me and not with any person that he may be imagining. that's a good sign, right?

[secret_agent_man]

That's my view, definitely, BUT I have no first hand experience with this, so I don't know about all the details.

 

Sorry, Good luck.

 

S.A.M.

[PuertoPoison]

Hey sweetheart, I know how it feels to have a man tell you something cold like that. But at any rate you must learn to only ask questions that you are honesly willing to hear, what would you have done if he had lied to you, and you later found out, would you rather know now and know the truth or have the wool pulled over your eyes and find out later. The fact that the answer brought you to tears shows that maybe you were not ready for that kind of conversation. I tell you what...a really confident and strong thing for you to have done (just for instance) was not to cry at all , but to say..."Good baby..cause I thought it was just me" Girl he would have fell out the damn bed. Trust me. Sometimes men seem to say things just to see your reaction.

 

But in the future, if you feel like he is saying things to irk you or hurt you on purpose pay it no mind..be strong and confide in 1. us (forum) 2. a friend 3. relative...but never tell him too much or wear your heart on your sleave.