My sis tried to kill herself today

[honeybunch]

This morning my 16yr old sister took an overdose in her bedroom. I heard her crying and me and mum went in and found her crying on the floor next to a load of empty pill packets and a suicide note. It was so awful, we had no idea anything like this was going on in her head. We got her to a hospital immediately and luckily she's fine. Apparently she did it because she is really behind in her schoolwork - her final exams are in June - and she didn't see anyway out.

I realise that it really was a cry for attention and not a serious attempt - she did it bout 5mins before mum takes her to school, and she was crying so loud of course we were going to go in and see what was up. Today though has been awful, my parents have been in a right state, blaming themselves, saying they are bad parents etc., its been probably the worst day of my life. I still can't believe its happened.

I'm just posting on here really to get it all out, as I can't talk to anyone apart from my boyfriend as my parents don't want anyone to know, and I'm just hoping someone could give me some help as to what to do now?? Obviously we don't want it to happen again, and I want to help her!!!!

Thanks alot xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Scout]

Well, the first step to helping her is knowing she has a problem. It appears that is known, now, so that's something. I do think you and your family have a difficult road ahead, and perhaps you should sit down with your folks and the three of you can acknowledge this. And make a pledge to stick by each other, communicate well, and help your sister best as you can. Let your parents know how much you want to help, and that you're there for them and your sister.

 

Also, let your sister know how much you love her. Ask her to talk to you, that you'll do your best to listen and understand, even if you're younger and may not be able to understand everything.

 

That's a good, solid start to what's going to be a challenging time, but that's the good thing about families - you have a support system to face these problems when they happen.

[darkblue]

I'm sorry to hear that.

 

Let her know that you are there for her, to talk to - and try and keep the communication open between all of your family.

Advise your parents to take her to see a doctor - as this may not be as simple as a one-time thing. She could be suffering from depression.

 

Keep venting.

Take care.

[Shadows Light]

{{{HUGS}}}

 

I'm sorry your feeling so down. Its gotta be very hard having so much turmoil going on right now.

 

Good news is your sister is ok. And is going to be ok. No use crying over spilt milk now and self-blaming why why why.. and where did we go wrong. Lets think about how to makes things better.

 

Hopefully your sister will get the counseling she needs. I hope your "whole" family goes in together so that everyone can benefit as a unit.

 

What you can do.. is tell your sister that you love her. Often times we make assumptions that other people know we love them... and we don't tell them or show them enough. Its not enough to utter the words .. it happens with deeds too.

 

Your sister seems to be having trouble with school and studies. Can you offer her a hand. Can you offer to help her organize herself.. her time.. and help her to study. by the looks of it you are older so you've already been through this process... some things come easier to some than others. Can you coach her in a loving, non-patronizing way??? often times us older siblings..can appear very patronizing and paternal to our younger brothers and sisters... they HATE that cause they've always lived in the wake of our shadows, trying to meaure up and be like us.

 

She could probably use your help. She just doesn't know how to ask for it or doesn't want to appear ignorant in front of you... she wants you to love her and respect her.

 

You also might try stroking her ego a little more from time to time on stuff that she does do WELL... and ask her to show you or teach you something.

 

She needs you as a friend. And thats the BEST gift you can give her now.

[Boricua7]

I know what you're going through TRUST ME. My sister used to cut (she's 17). It was horrible because I felt so helpless to help her. I didn't know what to do to help her realize that there are other ways of release. I, personally, have a great relationship with my sister and was lucky that when I found the scars on her arms that she trusted me enough to tell me the truth.

 

First step for HER is to admit that she has a problem. Until then, there is nothing anyone can do. You have to be there for her. Listen to her talk without interrupting her or making her feel like what she says is stupid. DO NOT at any point tell her that she needs to see a psychiatrist or anything (yet). Why? Because this will just reconfirm her idea that there is something wrong with her. She needs to know that what she is going through is NORMAL. When she feels that way, then you can go about fixing the problem. Right now all of her issues are internalized. Help her to vocalize more (a.k.a. talk to you or someone else she can confide in) and she will be fine.

 

Help her in every way you can. Help her study, tell her you love her, share things about your life with her so that she feels like you want her to be a part of it. These are all things YOU can do to help her.

 

If at any point your family does decide that counseling is needed, GO AS A FAMILY. Her problem isn't with herself, it's with her idea of life and your family is a big part of that (life, I mean). By being together you will show that you love her, that you support her, and god knows you'll learn more about eachother!

 

I'm so sorry to hear that this has happened but look on the bright side, she's alive. Your whole family needs to show her how grateful you are that she did make it instead of being selfish and thinking or saying things like "What did I do wrong?, "Why would she do this to me?", "Am I a bad sister?" (I'm not saying that these are all things you or your parents have thought/said they are just examples). You all need to think about her right now.

[Max Jax]

School work might sound sorta like a silly reason but can actually be a huge stress factor. When I was younger I attempted suicide multiple times. I used to SI too. Well thing is, she has you guys. I think she will be ok. First step is finding the problem. Next is treating. The DRs might give her a bit of something to help cheer her up a bit.

 

I had a friend that was really suicidal for a while and she couldn't come talk, because sometimes its hard to admit that you need help. She would write me a note, sometimes from a stick it note saying I am too stressed, to a 16 page letter pouring it all out. I would read it and then we would talk. Honest to god its so hard to ask for help at times. Be there to support her, and make sure she never feels judged.

 

Its a hard time on both her and your family, but being understanding can go a long way. Just make sure she knows that no matter what it is, your there to help her and will never let her fall to that place again.

[Darketernal]

What it not should be is this . hey now she's fine again, we prevented her suicide.

 

School can litterary send people into their deaths, it works on the mind and if it gets overstressed by the absurd amounts of homework people get, then its only natural if things get overheated, people where never meant to make homework to begin with.

 

So whats important is that you give her (not overexaggerated but multiple times) that you come to see how she is doing and giving her the attention that she craves for and maby actually helping her out with her homework (im already hearing you say' but i have my own life to lead') that is correct, you should thereforeeee only give that amount of attention in terms of time that you can miss , not in that amount that you are the next one to be jumping out of a window so to speak, you both need to preserve yourselves , and your parents aren't bad parents, they are just unable to step in to stop the absurd amount of school work she has to make and clearly isn't capable of making.

 

School can be so depressing ,its such a milk machine that squeezes out every inch of energy that you can deliver. She needs to cut back on school and focus more on loving and helping people, and being loved and receiving help. This will allow to create a bond that

 

even if she does fail school she'll be able to feel the warmth of her family and the love that they cherish for her. *hugs* much love to you too, i can imagine happier events. Keep us updated on her and on your own feelings too.

[ShySoul]

honeybunch, if you read this I want you to know we are still thinking about you and your family, especially your sister. I hope that things have gotten better and that you've started working together to help her. If you ever need anything, we are all here for you.

[Scout]

I echo what ShySoul is saying. You and your family are certainly in our thoughts.

[AnotherBrokenDoll]

ok darling listen up! I knda no wat ur going through one of my best friends tried to commit suicide the other night! It hurt me sooo deep down inside when i found out why but thats not what you need! All your sister needs is someone 2 listen to her! This is a big job cuz sometimes she will repeat herself and sometimes you will want to just throw something at her bcuz u just want her to understand but the main thing is that you do understand! A cry for help is very important! So please just talk to her listen to her dont treat her differently but be there for her! And if things get to hard talk to a professional cuz they can help! They know how to deal with these things! ok gud luvk and fill us in!

 

love always rozi! always here if u need me

[vortex]

HoneyBunch

 

Really sorry to hear about what your sister, your family and yourself are going through.

 

That was a loud cry for help there, but the good thing is that your sister DOESN'T want to die. She wants and she needs help. For her there seems like there was no way out, she's tried every avenue in her power (and we aren't very powerful when we are depressed).

 

Like everyone else have already said, she needs you guys around, she needs your support and love (don't overdo it though, she'll feel it straight away).

 

She definitely needs counselling, talking is one of the best therapy. She's obviously depressed, so I don't know if anti-depressant might be an option (not that I recommend it, I'm no doctor).

 

As for her studies, she'll need extra help to organise herself, she'll need someone to "take her by the hand" and help her step by step to plan things and get back on track. As a family you should consider the options available, if she decided to take a break from school now and go back next year perhaps. I'm not saying that that's what she should do, but maybe she needs a break, only her can tell how she feels.

 

Also, I know you mentioned that your parents don't want anyone else to know. But perhaps your parents should discuss this with her tutors at school and see what they could do to help her to catch up with her studies.

 

I know this is tough for you and I know how hopeless things must appear to your sister right now - I've been in her shoes once (suicide attempt during final yr exam). Just be there for her and do everything to boost her self-confidence. Self-confidence is the road to recovery.

 

All the best.

[Boricua7]

I also echo ShySoul. How are things doing? Is your sister doing better? Know that we are all praying for you and your family.