How does it feel?

[Wollie]

I just met this really cool guy while me and a friend were camping out for the weekend. He's such a nice,honest, down-to-earth guy and seems to be very respectful. But at the moment im not sure how i feel about him. I guess i think of him as a friend at this point. But what does it feel like to be in love? Can someone please explain to me? I looking forward to seeing him again because we have only seen other once as i live and hour away from him. os it makes it really hhard to work out what feelings i have. I am confused.

[annie24]

To be in love? Well, I think that love grows over a long time. It's not something that happens overnight, or over a fun camping weekend. I think with many months or years, you love someone when you trust them and care about their hapiness and they are a very important part of your life. Basically, that takes a long time to build up.

 

Lust, however, can crop up soon

[Wollie]

Thanks for your reply. Yeah i think i know what u mean. U feel like you are a part of that person? Is that about right?

[hk87]

Yes, when we see people it is lust because certain parts of them attract us to them, but after a period of time, you see the full picture. If after you've known him a long time and you can't stop thinking about him and always want to be with him then love has arrived!

 

Hk87

[Confessoress]

What annie said, really.

 

I personally believe love doesn't happen overnight. I'm highly critical about 'love at first sight'. I think the first time you meet someone you can have a really good feeling about them, be highly attracted and have great chemistry. However that isn't love, but it's a very good start.

 

Love is something that happens over time, after you've experienced things together, come to trust the other person, go through good times and bad. You start to get a feeling inside of warmth towards them (for me anyway). Then evenually you'll feel like your bursting to tell them you love them. It sometimes takes people a long time to come to the realisation that they love someone.

 

As for younger folk, what's that song... "Young people are so eager to give their love away". But I think you can't learn what love is without making a few mistakes.

[RayKay]

Love develops over time, through shared experiences (both negative and positive) that allow us to see one another in different lights, in all angles, to learn their character, personality and how the interact with us. Love develops with nourishment, respect and care.

 

It does take time. Lust can be immediate, and feel wonderful, but love is a whole other experience that only is truly developed as you learn to know the person and the relationship in the everyday, when the honeymoon period is over. It still has elements of passion, but it also has more of a companionship element. Most relationships never truly get to this stage, or at least not to the stage of reciprocal love. One, or both, decide either something is missing, some element they need, the feelings do not develop or there are too many incompatibilities...or one person just chooses to not put effort forth.

 

Even for those that do grow into true love, well the path to true love was never said to be smooth...so often there are some stages of growth, and effort, that can challenge the relationship. But people whom make that choice to love, through that, can weather such storms and often come out stronger in the end. It takes two, however.

 

True love however, is reciprocal, and there is no intent to hurt one another. Cheating, abuse in any form, disprespect, manipulation, lack of care all signal that the love being ignored, is the love for yourself to leave such situations where the emotional cost to yourself is too great.

[Wollie]

Hey thanks all for your reply. I guess at the moment there are no really feelings because we havent seen eachother enough times to develop any. Although we have had a great moment together i think i do just like him as a friend at this point. I just so glad that i found a guy that likes me for who i am personally instead of just the outside. I guess we will see over time just how much it turns into being.

Thank-you

Nicole

[Shadows Light]

Falling in love. Well, I think that to love someone you start with attraction. Those are the seeds of love. Then the chemisty happens, throw a bit of lust in there.. there's that attraction again.. lol... and I think love just blooms over time.

 

Kind of like planting and tending a garden. You plan your garden out the way you'd like. Lets say your life is your garden. And you plant in your garden things that you enjoy. Fruits, vegatibles... beautiful flowers. And then you work at it. Every day.. watering it. Spending time with it. Pruning the flowers, pulling the weeds. Chasing the rabbits out of the garden. Grin. or if you are like me.. plant extra lettuce and let the rabbits move in. Grin..I had a mama rabbit who, respected my space. She'd have her babies in one corner of my garden every year. And we shared. lol. And I'd go out into my garden every day.. and sometimes get mad at it. Why were the WEEDS overtaking my Rosebushes.. and that darn morning glory.. who planted it in my garden??? I can't seem to rid myself of it. ohhhh well. Few of the foibles of my garden.. Ivy and chipmonks. We battle it out every year. And for all the attention and time that I spend with my garden... what do I get out of it. Grin. It blooms. The roses all pop out at the same time in June. You can smell the jasmine in the night air. The tomatoes are to die for. And the grapes.. make wondeful jam to share with friends and family. In the Winter... it goes to sleep for a while. And I plan out my next years garden.

 

Love is... what you put into it. If you care for someone, they recipricate. It cycles.

 

Loving someone means wanting for thier good. Wanting the best for them. But love is also selfish.. in that it asks for reciprocity. Because if you arn't loved in kind, don't feel that someone is looking out for your good, caring for you... then love ...like an aged rosebush can go fallow and wither.

 

Love is having someone living under your skin, in the corner of your heart. Thinking about them as you go to sleep..smiling about them when they pop into your mind through out the day. And knowing they are the last thing you think about when you close your eyes and say good night.

 

Love is putting trust in somone.. entrusting them with your heart, that you've laid in thier hands for safe keeping.

 

Love is...making it through good times and bad. Love is be a witness to someone.. that they existed on this earth. Matter.

 

Love is.... (grin.. now you got me thinking... than-you for that)

 

You just met the guy.. give it time. Like a garden... it takes time to blossom. Some things come to bloom faster than others in a garden. But they all need patience and tending.

[drjqd112804]

My view of love would be basically when you feel that you could give up pretty much anything for the one you love, and know that even if it was something important to you, everything will still be okay. You'll know when you are not with that person but you spend every waking and sleeping moment wishing you could be there with that person if only just to watch them. You'll know when you think to yourself as you look at him, instead of saying "wow hes hott!" you'll find yourself saying "He is the most beautiful man i have ever laid my eyes upon" whether it would be true or not- because if you love him, he should be most beautiful to you.. You'll know when you dont want to have sex for "fuN" or because he is "hott" but you want to have it because you love him.

 

Basically.

 

[Shadows Light]

You'll know when you think to yourself as you look at him, instead of saying "wow hes hott!" you'll find yourself saying "He is the most beautiful man i have ever laid my eyes upon" whether it would be true or not- because if you love him, he should be most beautiful to you.. You'll know when you dont want to have sex for "fuN" or because he is "hott" but you want to have it because you love him

.

 

When you can see/feel the beauty and depth of thier soul. What is on the inside. And you look at them... and it doesn't matter if only you are the only one that can see it.. and they take your breath away.

 

Sex.. grin. When you don't think of what they can do for you...but what you can do for them. Whether its making love to them... or making them happy, putting a smile on thier face. Making them grin.

[Wollie]

Its really hard to explain my feelings towards this guy. I mean, I love talking to him and stuff. And we have done things together that was great and i get excited about seeing him again. But like i said, i think it is only friendship feelings at this point. I think about the stuff we can do together. But i guess i have to take into account that he lives about 1hr away and we hardly ever see eachother. It makes it hard to visit eachother. He has no real wasy to get to me as he doesnt have a good car and he works most days of the week. So i guess we will just have to see how it turns out

[Wollie]

Another thing im not sure about is, he always talks about sex with me. Now i know he is a guy and it tends to be a natural thing lol but whenever i talk to him on the phone he seems to find somthing sexual to talk about. Now weve only know eachother for about a week and he already talks about sex and stuff. i am the kind of girl the likes to get to know a guy before we go into any sexual stuff. I mean, hey im open to the experiance of which sex brings, but i always imagined myself have first time sex with the one person i really love and care about. But im new to all this and am unsure how to handle it. So i need some advice here. Lol

And also, i dont think about this guy all the time. But i do wonder when he doesnt call if he doesnt like me anymore.

DOes this mean that i am attracted to him and like him more than a friend? Im not too sure?

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I think you need to tell him hes making you a bit uncomfortable with talking about sexual stuff so early...be upfront because itll only get harder to say as time goes on.

 

As for love..well, I think there are several indications, mine was quite recently with my boyfriend, he is in a lot of pain from his fathers terminal illness, and i realised when all i wanted to do was be like human blotting paper and wanting more than anything to somehow take his pain for him...things like that. thinking about them more than you think about you, caring for them like you'd care about yourself..ie a LOT!

 

its a massive topic, the answers here are pretty good I think.

[Wollie]

Thank-You. Yeah everyones advice has been greatly appreciated. I may be seeing this weekend !