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why do guys get close than pull away?


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From my expirence, guys who do that arnt sure what they want. They might be insecure if the relationship. They will get close one minute and then they think its too much, or they arent ready, or they might think they dont want to get attached, so they pull away.


Guys arnt the only ones who do it, girls do it too

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I'm reading a book called "mars and venus on a date" in it, it describes 5 stages to a relationship, and the second is a stage of uncertainty. He's not exactly sure what he wants, but don't take it personally. I would use this time to take time for yourself as well. Don't pester him about why he's backing off or not calling as much. Stay cool, hang out with the girls, and when he calls, just be pleasant and enthusiastic. Act warm and happy that he called, not resentfull that he's been pulling away. He'll come around and realize what a catch you are.

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Hey SeaB!


From my experience guys tend to pull back simply because they need time for themselves and not to "lose" themselves in the relationship. It's nothing personal to you, it's just they way they are. In my experience, guys tend to have an easier time looking out for their own needs whereas women tend put others needs first. Not saying that is the case all the time, it is just that it has happened to me more times than not.


What I would suggest is to pull back a little yourself and do other things like hang out with your girlfriends, your hobbies, and such. It's important to live your own life while being in the relationship and not lose whom you are. Just try to relax and give each some space. I am sure once you do that, things will be much better for you. Take care and good luck with everything.

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Lost status- I'm being totally serious! It's crazy isn't it? I'll hang out with him for a few days, then not hear from him for like a week! He just goes all weird on me and doesn't talk much, where as other days he can't say enough to me! We are good friends, and I love spending time with him (because I like him ;-) ) but he doesn't know that as I don't show it, but he does pull away from me, it's like he suddenly gets a conscience- he maybe likes me, but then feels bad for thinking that and goes away to try and get over it, but then comes back! His g/f and him are very long distance though....



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Hk87, it sounds like a friend I have.. I used to like this guy for years and years he was a very good friend to me, but everytime he would find a gf he would stop talking to me as much and wouldnt hang out with me. Then when he broke up with them he would act like nothing happened! Its crazy! What would these people do when they get married? would they cut off contact with all their good female friends? :s

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  • 5 years later...


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