Contact

[curlyl1]

My b/f of 4 years finished with me a month ago (i lived with him for 3 years). He gave no real reason except that his feelings had changed, and that he was no longer "in love" with me. He says that there is definitely not anyone else. For the first 2 weeks we were in contact, but it was too difficult for me, so for the following 2 weeks we did NC. I then texted him on Sat to arrange to get my stuff and sort out the money side of things etc, he was at work but called me back when he finished. We spoke on the phone for about 25mins. Nothing was mentioned about us, just general chit chat... why did he bother talking to me at all? Why did he not just say come and get your stuff etc, bye?

He confuses me more and more. It is driving me crazy

[phaseone]

Although you are no longer with him, 4 years is a long time. I think it would be best to have one last discussion and close that chapter after you pick up your stuff.

 

Harder said then done though, good luck!

[Confused1981]

Perahps he still cares for u and wants to be your friend i speak to my ex like that all the time, maybe i confused her but i still liked to speak to her.

[curlyl1]

Did you finish with her? I can understand that i want to speak to him because i feel the same way as i always did, but surely after4 years, if he doesnt want to be with me, we should just move on separately? Or am i seeing things in black and white

[octopus]

wants to be friends, because that comforts them...

[Vanilla]

Im so sorry...I would be devastated if I was in your shoes. Youa re being very strong!

 

I think he wanted tot alk to you because he's used to you. like octupus said...its a sense of comfort. He knows you, he knows you love him, so he knows he can come to you. I think he may also know that you want him so badly that you'll talk to him as long as its to keep him close.

 

I think you need closure and a serious deal of NC.

 

I am so sorry. Please come back to us if you need anything else!

[curlyl1]

Thanks for all the advice. You are right. I am awaiting him getting back to me with a suitable time for us to sort out financial side of things etc (he works shifts). I wont contact him, and then once i get my stuff etc, i will go on NC again.

Thank you all x

[curlyl1]

[He was meant to contact me this week to arrange a suitable time for me to collect all of my stuff next week, as i need to hire a van...why has he not contacted me? Surely he wants my stuff out of his life?

[novaseeker]

He may be just lazy or just doesnt want to deal with it. I would recommend trying to take charge of that effort, get your stuff back and the financial issues squared away, and then NC, as you are planning to do.