Premature Ejaculation

[Lacuna]

I have a 'friend' (no, it couldn't possibly be me) who has become insecure over the years because he doesn't last that long. It has gotten to the point that 'he' will avoid sex just because it has become to seem like each time it is a test to see how long he can last.

 

Anyone have any tips on how to extend the duration?

[Boricua7]

Change positions more frequently. During this time it will give 'him' a chance to "recharge his batteries" so to speak.

[Lacuna]

Yeah - 'he' has tried that, and it does help. But it would really be nice to actually be able to comply when the girl says 'harder' or 'faster', or 'don't stop'. Every time I...I mean 'he'...has to say "wait a minute" or can't go harder and faster when requested he feels like a complete loser, like he isn't a man at all....

[Boricua7]

I don't know if you do already, but wearing a condom helps because you are getting less stimulated. You...I mean 'he' is not less of a man because he ejaculates early. It just means your...I mean 'his' girl is doing a good job . Perhaps getting her off before you initiate intercourse will help. That way she's closer and you haven't even started yet. Just a thought.

[Lacuna]

Thanks for the tips Boricura. And yes - I'm quite the expert at going down on a girl (one of the benefits of being insecure about penetrative sex) and usually make sure she has an orgasm before we do anything else. It still leaves me unable to do the hard and fast thing for long - and I think penetrative sex is a symbolic thing to many - a sign of manhood or verility so even if the girl comes it is still a failure if the guy cannot do it hard...

[Gunther]

Okay, here is a tip, if 'he' is going to have sex, and knows it before hand try to masturbate about a half-hour before it makes it harder to ejaculate the second time around, and it will make 'him' last longer. It works on a degrading scale to....according to a friend of mine that is. lol

[ocrob]

I agree with Gunther. I was going to say the same thing. It does not have to be a half hour before. Maybe the night before and that morning. lol

[Mrocza]

I concur. Fixing the problem before hand can help you last longer. And theres nothing wrong with slowing down or changing positions, however, if you still feel insecure wear a condom so it decreases sensitivity. Otherwise, I'm sure you can google something about controlling your orgasms. I had a friend who told me he learned to time his orgasms...or control them. He said it took a lot of mental stimulation but it's psychological for the most part. Don't know if there's any truth in that, but searching it doesn't hurt.

[melrich]

There are lubricants you can get that contain de-sensitising agents. Try those.

[Boricua7]

I agree with Gunther's advice too. Don't know how that one slipped my mind. There's nothing wrong with the both of you getting off manually (or orally) and then initiating sex afterwards. It all feels good.

[Dako]

A nice bottle of champagne beforehand used to really help a friend of mine enjoy the evening.

[LiquidCherry]

One of my "friends" boyfriends has to stop every once in awhile. And "she" never minds, in fact "she" thinks it's a mighty fine compliment and loves it when he orgasms regardless of how many minutes have passed. Also, "she" gets to kick back and relax while he finishes her up.

[Lacuna]

Well Gee - I guess my Ex should feel mighty complimented then...

 

And thanks for the other tip about getting 'on the job' a half hour before-hand. I just hope there's no risk of having a 'something about Mary' moment...

[Boricua7]

Eh, as long as you don't fall asleep on her or anything I'm sure things will be fine

[Day_Walker]

This topic has come up many times I would suggest searching and you will be more of the information you want.