One question on how to handle contact- thoughts appreciated.

[octopus]

My ex sent me an email on Friday before I went away for a long weekend trip and after some small talk wrote at the end:

 

"Call me when you get back."

 

Now,a quick recap: the last time we talked was when he called me to bring me my mail a week ago, and I'd told him "Just forward it to me" and I said I had to go while he was in the middle of explaining something.

 

I don't want to call him. He probably said "Call me back" because he wants to be "friends" and still talk(that'd make him comfortable that I don't hate him but am his friend), like he is friends with all his exes. I am soooo angry at him, at this point I don't see him as someone I'd call and joyfully share my trip details with. So, I am not going to call him despite he said in his email "Call me when you get back". In this case, if he really wants to talk to me, he'll call me at some point this week, or he just won't.

 

If he does call ,however, how should I sound to him? The natural way that I'd sound now is cold, distant and hurting. But should I sound really happy, talk to him about the great a trip I had? Like I said the truth is I don't even want to talk to him because I am so angry, and I can explode at him, probably only to regret later. I find it hard to justify to myself giving another minute of my life to him - without him winning that minute.

 

I don't want to not answer his call. If he ends up calling, I will take it. But should I sound like I feel right now (angry), or sound happier and as if I don't give a f...k about him? In terms of healing, I'm ok with moving on, I might have already moved on since I think about him less and less and he doesn't come to my mind when I'm doing something (i.e. work, or sports), but I miss him and I think that he's a fool.

 

Thanks....

[LiquidCherry]

When my bf and I split he would write me an e-mail every so often and ask me to call him. I didn't. I figured that if he *really* wanted to talk to me he would call me. And he did. I wasn't feeling very happy either but I sure sounded like it when I answered the phone. I even sounded happy when I told him it was time for me to go to class soon and I had to go. He even said, "Wow. You just sound really happy."

[starfish]

Octopus,

 

Did he break up with you or the other way round? Yeah, I wouldn't call. I am in the same boat. He called me two weeks ago and ended the call saying "Do call sometimes." I don't read much more into it than meaning, let me know you are alive. And I don't care to let him know either ways.

[octopus]

Starfish,

 

he broke up with me. when i moved out of his place he said "call me if you need anything" but since then he hasn't called me once to ask how i'm doing, so I'm assuming he reallly doesn't have a sincere interest in finding out how my trip was, he's just trying to be "friends".

[starfish]

Unfortunately that seems to be the case. I think everything that you are feeling right now is quite natural. I would say keep away from him and give yourself some space. If you talk to him now, it will most likely be your emotions talking and we all tend to say things that we don't mean when we are emotional..so stay put. Things will get better.