Is it more than just sex?

[Sugar-Rush]

Hey Guys,

 

For once my questions not involving me (yay) i have been asked for advice by a good friend and you guys have always come through for me so i thought i'd ask your opinion..... i hope thats okay.

Do you think best friends (one male, one female) who love each others company and talk or see each other or both daliy....who have both been sexualy attracted to each other for a number of months, can start sleeping together.....and it not mean they actually want more than just sex?

This is the situation of my friends, she doesn't know how she feels whether or not she wants more, so she asked him out right and he said he is only attracted to her in a sex way not a girlfriend way.

 

Personally i don't understand this, there best friends, having sex, trusting each other completely and love each others company.....basically my friend asked me if i think he's being honest (which i don't, because when they look at each other, they seem to be in a world of there own) ....do you think thats right...shall i tell her that or am i maybe setting her up for a fall if all the guy wants is sex?

 

Thanks

Sugar xx

[Billythedog]

Wow, tough question... I am not sure that you can answer that in an easy way, it may be the guy just doesn't want to get hurt, so basically he is looking for everything you get out of a relationship without the actual relationship. He may just be insecure.

 

On the other hand, he may just be trying to get himself the perfect situation, a girl who can be friends with that puts out as well...tell me that doesn't sound like a man trying to have his cake and eat it!!!!

 

Tis tough but being a bloke, knowing a little about blokes i would have to go for the latter. I think your friend needs to lean towards the side of caution and do everything she can to not get hurt.

 

Take care

 

Rob

[PutYourBackIntoIt]

I was just in a similar situation. I got back with my ex, and we both agreed it was only to be a sexual relationship. He bought me gifts, we saw each other everyday, and we always had a good laugh. His parents thought we were together again and they were thrilled. However, I got out before I got hurt. I didn't bother asking him where our relationship was. I simply got out. I think your friend should do the same before she gets really hurt. I just ended things with him over the weekend, and to be honest I'm really bummed, but it pales in comparison to the way I would feel if I'd have stayed any longer.

[Becks23]

I have personally been in this situation with a friend of mine.. We have known each other years and have been best friends the same amount of time.. As we grow older, we seemed to be attracted to each other and things happened between us.. I tried to talk to him about this and he wouldn't talk to me.. In the end, he told me that he didn't have the heart to tell me that it was just sex.. I had to drag this out of him.. We are still friends and see each other occasionally (when he is drunk) and we talk but not like we use to.. I do truly believe I have lost my best friend through this.. It has also happened more than once.. I wanted it to happen, so I let it..

I think you should advise your friend as best you can and make her see that this situation could get alittle out of hand..

Do what you think is best for your friend..

Becks xx

[RayKay]

If he is saying he is only attracted to her in a sex way, it does not matter what you see, he is telling the truth.

 

I don't think it is ever a good idea for people whom value their friendship to sleep together. Especially NOT if one has more feelings for the person then the other. It sounds like your friend might sleep with hoping it will turn into something more...but he has made it pretty clear he does not see her that way...so I can see a lot of heartbreak. And the problem is if she does have more feelings, it will be hard to remain at a "distance" and not care especially if they are sleeping together as more emotions become involved.

 

What if he did find someone he liked as a girlfriend? What if they got pregnant?

 

Look, there are people whom can be great sexually, and be great friends, but still not have something there to take it further. There can still be something missing that takes it from friendship to romantic partnership.

 

Yes it is possible at some point there may be more....but I don't advise that they have sex BEFORE that point. They may lose a friendship, and someone may walk away with some very hurt feelings too...he has already said he does not see her that way. I would listen to that.

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

" Love her in sex but not in a girlfriend way " Most males likes any woman in a sexual way.. A man and a women normally are attracted to eachother.. But to like someone as a girl friend, he likes her personality as a person, having sex with her AND he can imagine that she is the only women in his life..