Hurt & Confused.

[evepm]

I met this man and we talked for about 3 weeks on the phone. I was very honest with him and told him that I was hesitant to date anyone because of things that have happen in the past. He told all the "right" things and said believe in me, I won't hurt you. He said that he was crazy about me and he had even stopped by my office a few times to bring me coffee. So, this weekend i took a chance and it was a disater. Friday night he cooked me dinner and one thing lead to another. I ended up spending the night. Everything seemed great until Saturday. He picked me up, we went back to his house to spend the day toghether and it was like he had totally changed. Almost like he figured that he had me and that he didn't need to put much effort into spending time with me. I sat around while he did stuff around his house. I spent the night again, nothing happened we just slept. When we woke up this morning I tried to have a conversation with him and he just wasn't interested. I want to know are all men full of crap. Do they just tell you what they think you want to hear nad then when they think that they have you do they just become complacent? This guy kept telling me to believe in him and that he wouldn't hurt me. But, it does hurt to be treated like a piece of furniture and I feel stupid for sleeping with him. When he dropped me off this morning he leaned over to give me kiss and said that he had a great time but that was not how he was acting when I was with him. I'm hurt and disappionted that i took a chance. I really started to like this man and I feel like a fool. I do not have it in me to go a another roller coaster again. HELP!

[mgirl]

This is a no brainer, end it with him now. Do not call, do not respond to his calls. If he confronts you with why you haven't been calling etc., just simply say you have had a good time, but that you do not want to continue seeing him. If you continue to see him, then you have nobody else to blame if you get on a "rollercoaster ride".

 

In my experience, i have found that those who say, "trust me" the most, are the most distrustful. I don't know why, but it is almost a scientific fact.

[annie24]

Ditto to what mgirl said. It's the people that keep saying, "Believe in me - I won't hurt you" - those are the ones that are most likely to do something bad to you.

 

definitely - in the future, you may want to wait until you get to know someone better before you sleep with them.

 

If you don't have it in you for another roller coaster ride, just end things like mgirl said.

 

good luck

[shyanne]

men are always so good at telling us what we want to hear just to get what they want... the bad part is we believe and trust them. right now you don't sound happy with how things are going with him so its time to move on. not all men are like that, some honest ones left. finding them is hard. good luck.

[theantibarbie23]

Words are cheap. NEVER go on words alone, always look at the person's actions. Next time, get to really know the person before sleeping with them. It'll save you a lot of heartache.

[Relationship Coach]

Put away the claws ladies, all men are not bad! I agree, this guy probably got what he wanted and it's time to end it with him. Trust actions in the future, not words. I can sit here all day and try to defend men from being stereotyped because of what players are known for but guess what, it works both ways. Some women get what they want with sex and some men get what they want with words. The point is three weeks of talking on the phone and a couple cups of coffee doesn't really let you get to know the guy.

 

You were seduced, you let it be known to him that you were afraid because of what had happened to you in the past and he turned that against you. If you tell them you are afraid of dragons, they become dragon slayers. Keep your fears and insecurities to yourself and let their actions define who they are not their words.

[Mattie]

men are always so good at telling us what we want to hear just to get what they want... the bad part is we believe and trust them.

 

The same applies to women too y'know.

[patience]

I agree that actions speak louder than words.

 

It takes two to fool around though. No matter who was chasing who, mo matter who 'started it', you chose to move quickly and you chose to respond to his words, so you have to take responsibility for your actions. Lesson learned I hope. You are not a helpless victim here.

 

If you are feeling vulnerable, take your time to get to know someone. Go out on actual dates, not to the person's house.

 

Hey, you're human. Don't beat yourself up or anything. Be more aware of your choices though. You could have gotten really hurt.

[Belle]

Keep your fears and insecurities to yourself and let their actions define who they are not their words.

 

Some insightful words for the single person. It is almost human nature to hurt you when you tell someone who has not earned your trust where your weaknesses are. You gave him your power by telling him. Better to keep it to yourself and take responsibility. Not all men are responsible, especially those that you don't know. He didn't have to earn anything. His words were cheap.

 

I totally agree with mgirl. You need to end it now. I've been there before and the situation will not improve.

[evepm]

Thank you everyone for your support and advice. I'm old enough to know everything that all of you said. But, sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. I feel so much better about the situation and it's because I was able to turn to this site for caring and unbiased support.