Jealous of girlfriend masterbating...

[romanticlover]

Hello, I tend to get a bit jealous when my girlfriend masterbates herself alone when she is away from me. You know, taken time to take of business herself..Well I kinda get jealous and wish I was there to experience it with her. I love seeing her orgasm and I love doing it it to with her. How can I not get upset by this and has anyone else experienced this? Thanks

[NoComply]

do you fire off a few knuckle children when your away from her? dont lie im sure you do.

[sorry there, i had 2 use that phrase, gotta love family guy]

 

its her, doing it to herself, your jelous of your girlfriend of doing things to her own body that you feel YOU should be the one to do as shes your girlfriend.

 

this seems a little bit weird to me really.

stop getting jelous/upset about it, accept it... just be happy shes not getting someone else to do it wile your not there.

[Confused1981]

I can relate to this, with my first serious girlfriend she kept it a secret, we started dating wen she was 18 and she didnt start playing with herself until she was 19 but i didnt find out till she was nearly 20, and i got seriously jealous wen she used to do it, but eventually i grew up with it and i liked her doing it, in fact in the end i used to tell her to do it, and now 5 years on i have a new girlfriend and i totally exceped ti from the start cuz i knew she liked to pleasure herself as well as me, i think it makes the sex better!!!

[lon71]

hi,

please dont worry about your girlfriend masturbating, her masturbating has no negative effect on you or your sex life with her. when she is away from you she obviously has sexual urges and pleasures herself, see this as a good point on your behalf!!!! you are obviously enjoying good sex together and when away from you she still feels very sexual and she pleasures herself.....be proud u make her feel like this!!! also, when masturbating, she is knowing her own body, alot of women learn what they like from masturbating. her masturbating will help her to know her own body and enjoy better sex with you.

ive had to masturbate to keep myself happy as i live with a partner with no sex drive. masturbation for me helps when i have the urge but it is is no way any comparison to a real man. also, when i do have sex the next day i feel even more horny, if my partner were not around and i had the urge then masturbation would help until i had sex again.

i hope this helps, please do not be jealous of your girlfriend, be pleased that u have a g/f with which u can enjoy a healthy sex life, good luck!!!

[romanticlover]

Well.......here is the main issue behind this. My girlfriend brought up something last night that shocked me. We were together for about a year say 3 years ago. We broke up, but recently got back together about 4 months ago. Her and I are totally differnet when it comes to sex, as she stated. I am more of the porn guy in bed and she is more of the go with the flow, not so technical in bed. She says I need to go with the flow and let her do something once in a while. See my issue is that sometimes after kissing for 10-15 minutes, I am already going for her pants or you know what. I always try to please her, but she fells I don't please her in the right way by just waiting for her to do something. Only problem is somethimes I might start to loose my drive if nothing happens for that long. I guess I just need some type of raunch by a certain time. I have no problem making love for a while, but I am just more dominant.

We have been having problems lately and she brought up the fact that we are too different sexually and that she hasn't felt a sexual connection towards me in a while, since we were last together years ago. It hurt me to hear her say that, but I admitted to feeling the same way at times. We need to compromise our feelings. Problem is that she is still different in that dept. and expects me to follow her flow. Like I can read her actions or mind when she is just laying there.

I feel that since she is not a very sexually aggressive person, I get jealous because since she can please herself when I am not around, I feel she doen't think of me, and she only can enjoy herself that way. I mean I have made her orgasm plenty of times, and when you argue things are over exagerated, but it just makes me sad sometimes. Yeah I bang a few out here and there, but i'd rather 99% of the time do it with her next 2 me and have her turn me on instead of having to watch something.

Also, back then we weren't using condoms, we were using a spermicide insert, and now we are. HUGE difference to me. We can be making love, but the minute I need to go put on an uncomfy condom, I almost instantly loose the mood cause it doesn't feel nearly as good. So that raunchiness helps me stay in the mood where my soft love making helps her more.

IS this something that will get worse, or should I just chill and follow her lead and things will get better. She told me that I am a bit smothering at times emotionally also where I always want to hug her, kiss, and show my feelings more than she does. I am more the woman and she is more the man. Hate to say but it's true. Can this get better and do you thing we can work things out long term? Will this get worse? How can I control my emotions and be more secure with myself and her . She told me she loves me, but I need to just chill with my emotions. Any help? Thanks so much.

[lil_unique_me]

not sure if this will be of any use but ask her to do it in front of u... i do it to my bf and he totally loves it...

and i also agree with the poster before... at least she doesnt have anyone else to do it for her...

Catie xxx

[romanticlover]

I always want her to do it in front of me, but she says there are times where i want her to, but she doen't want to. See it all has to be the right mood for her. She wants me to go with her flow, not just a flow.

[Day_Walker]

It seems that you are getting hung up on the fact that she hasnt done this in front of you. This is a common problem with women, this issue can be bigger than simply her not being in the mood. If you want this to happen then dont pressure her about it and realize that it may never happen. Sometimes things like this are just about her more then its about you.

[romanticlover]

She has done it in front of me. That's not the issue as much. The main issue is the long post I made before about our differences.

[mariergn]

dont get jealous.. if you let on too much to her this may well freak her out a bit. Masterbation is one of the most natural things in the whole entire universe. .. please chill out : )

[sugarandspice]

i agree with what lon71 says. when i am doing things with a guy who really turns me on, i masterbate a lot more often as i think of him and him pleasing me...as i please myself. its a real turn on and then when you get with him you are really horny, as the more orgasms you have generally for me the more i want!!!! its not like you can call the guy round everytime you have your urge!and i think its important to get to know your own body and know what you like. id rather discover things myself rather then think oooohh whats happening there...with a partner. then i know what i like from a partner and what i dont like.

 

can understand how you might get jealous that you feel she can satisfy herself, but im sure she preferes you doing it any day!!its just good to get to know your own body...and think of your partner while you are doing it!! then when you next see them you cant wait for them to do it!

 

a lot of guys have siad they like to see a girl pleasure herself as it turns them on. so maybe try this????watch her bring herself to orgasm. see how she does it. and then maybe watch another time until she has made herslef v.v.wet and go in and take over!

[kubelwagen]

Well for this to work out, you are going to have to listen to each other. Communication and knowing what your partner wants is the key to sex. If she doesn't want you to feel her up after 10 minutes, don't do it. But explain to her that if nothing sexual happens for a while, you lose your drive. I just think this is something you need to sit down and have a long talk about, so you can know exactly where each other stands.

 

And I don't think it's fair to get upset at her masturbating, when you do it yourself.

[romanticlover]

Hello, I have made a few posts in other topics and I thought I'd post here.

I was dealing with some jealousy/insecurity issues not too long ago and I have been working on them best I can. I tend to require a lot of emotional/sexual attention as I give a lot myself and I tend to expect that back from my girlfriend and since she is not like that, she gets very upset and feels I expect more all the time and it makes her feel she can't make me happy. I tell her time and time again how much I love her, how she makes me happy, but she feels I still complain and want more. Anyways, she told me to chill more and just go with the flow like her. We are 2 totally different people and opposites in a relationship, but I have been trying to chill out a bit and just go with the flow. It doesn't always feel like I am being myself, but I am also understanding where she is coming from. Much if it stems from my issues at times. Only thing is that most girls I have been with, were more like me but I always loose attraction for them. One thing that made me very upset is that my girlfriend said she doesn't need all the attention, romance, etc etc I give her. She said every so often is nice, but not required. Then she mentioned how all of her ex's were nice to here and how she never dated a scumbag. Well I took that personally and felt that what is the point if she will just be happy with any average guy being I am so much more than that. I always go out of my way to be sweet, romantic, loving etc more than the average guy. I hear more women complain that their men aren't like that at all. Well I felt really upset knowing she could be happy with just any guy and that what I do is a waste to me. Kinda like if she can be happy with someone less than me makes me feel not special at all. Really bugs me. Feel like telling her to just go back with an ex or find someone less than me. See now I require more from her and that's where it becomes an issue. What to do?

The main point of this post is where to go from here. We have been not having sex lately because she says I have made her feel like she can't please me, etc etc and she isn't good enough. She told me it has been eating away from her where she has lost a lot of her sex drive. I have felt the same way also just because she isn't having sex with me. I am a sexual guy and it really sucks. She told me she wants to build her feelings, desires towards me back up and just wants to hang out, me to chill a bit and just go with the flow and not pressure her. Sometimes I'm starting to feel like her friend more than a boyfriend. No lust, passion, etc etc. I mean we will kiss a little, hug, say I love you, but she keeps saying she needs to rebuild her feelings. I am trying to be patient but at times I feel I am going to loose my sex drive and attraction for her all together. I can masterbate, but I want to enjoy it with her. This bug could go for another month and how can I handle this? Is this going to get worse even if I go with her flo? Please help. Thanks

[Iceman26]

Its going to get worse.

 

Rebuild her feelings? I am sorry, but that's a joke, not to mention a terrible excuse. Shes telling you her sexual feelings for you are gone.

 

She basically telling you "I don't have any sexual feelings for you right now, but hang out and lets see if they will come back"

 

Does she mean enough to you that you would want to wait? I don't know about you, but if I was told that, I'd be out of that relationship quicker then you can say Jack Robinson.

[romanticlover]

I know Ice. It's rough and sometimes I let my heart get in the way of things. I will admit that I can understand what she is saying as I have had a few comments from women on this topic. One woman said she felt teh same way my girl did because her boyfriend always wanted it and just seemed to be nice to her just to get sex. She started to feel pressured and lost her drive also. I feel that I did hurt her in a way and made her feel as she couldn't please me because of my high demands I guess. I would always expect things from her because of how I would act. If she didn't respond, act the way I would, I would get upset and wonder why. This had an impact on her and I guess tore her passion apart. I also started to loose it also and was hard fo rme at times cause there was nothing there in bed. Really sucks. So basically I am being a slave and waiting for her to come around. Isn't that what love is about?

[baboy71]

similar experiencei i was actually the 1 that asked her to try it then after a while she told me how much she enjoyed it. so you know i got jealous but what can i do its part of life she does it i do it u jus got to learn how to live and adapt to it. getting jealous wont help

[romanticlover]

back to the masterbation thing! Well I was really getting jealous because she was telling me she didn't want sex, but meanwhile she was masterbating. Doesn't make sense to me. How can someone say they love you, spend time with you, but not be intimate, yet can pleasure themself. Trust me, it really turns me on and I would love to do it regularly. I don't get jealous if we do it together, just if she tells me no sex, then does it.

[Iceman26]

Dude, the thing here is that you two are not sexually compatible, and such a thing does exist. You both like different things in bed. You want a freak, and she wants gentle lovemaking.

 

Thats nice for her that she is getting her rocks off, rubbing the magic bean and telling you to wait. Wait for what? Until she says so?

 

You are giving her control over you. What you should tell her is "If you don't see me the same way that I see you, then maybe we should see other people."

 

Cause and effect. Cause: She says no sex. Effect: Eventually you will tire of getting treated like a little boy and cheat on her.

[romanticlover]

heh ice, sometimes I wish I was more like you and could be stronger. I honestly don't like cheating or being a * * * * *, but I see what you are saying. She is actually the first girl I have been with that doesn't want to be freaky all the time. I'm too much of a nice guy man. Share your harsh stong will with me man lol.