Just flirting or maybe more

[hoboken12]

I need a little advice. I am 28m and the girl I am dating is 25. We have been seeing eachother for about 2 months. When I met her we found out that we know some of the same people. One of these people is a girl that I work with, Katie. I have always found Katie attractive but kind of thought that there wasn't anything possible between us. The problem I am having is I am finding myself more attracted to Katie than my girlfriend. I think Katie might be feeling the same way.

 

Here is the question, Katie and my girlfriend are not good friends they just share mutual acquantenses. Is there a good way to find out more about Katie without anyone getting hurt? I am not trying to be two timing or anything like that. I guess I am just curious if a relationship with Katie is possible and if she doesn't think it is what is the point of hurting who I am with currently.

Am I a d*ck for thinking like this?

 

I kind of feel guilty for thinking about this, but I am getting these feelings about Kate that I don't think I can ignore anymore, we have a great time talking with eachother, and people have even pointed out before that we should date eachother.

 

Any suggestions?

[darkblue]

If you are more interested in another girl than your current partner - why are you still with your partner?

[Ms Omaniac]

personally...if i knew my current bf was interested in someone like katie...id want him to let me go then pursue any interests. i would only want someone that is interested in ME and not have a wandering eye. i understand you would like to pursue katie only if it's a sure thing. that only makes me feel bad for you gf...not you. because that means if katie isnt interested...then your gf is 2nd best until someone of interest comes along again. i think your current gf isnt permanent if you are already thinking like this.

[hoboken12]

So I am being a d*ck.

 

I guess maybe you're right I just don't really want to admit it. The thing is my girlfriend is great, we have a lot in common, she's smart, loyal, giving, funny, everything I could want...almost. It doesn't seem like there is the sparks needed for a good relationship.

 

I've really taken my time on this relationship and tried not to rush things too fast. Part of me thinks that if there isn't much of a spark right now, there isn't going to be one further down the road. The other part of me thinks it would be stupid to give up this early because sparks can develop as I get to know her better.

 

I really don't mean to be selfish, and I don't want to hurt anyone.

 

Should I break it off because I might have feelings for someone else, or restated, is it wrong to carry on in a relationship that you are not 100% sure about?

[Lady Bugg]

I agree with Ms O.....

 

While it isn't WRONG for you to feel attracted to someone else, keeping your current g/f on a "string" in case anything happens, IS wrong. I too feel bad for your g/f. I wouldn't want to be her. Here's a question for you....

Hw would you feel if your current g/f had the same thoughts about another guy? (WITHOUT Katie in the picture). Would that bother you at all?

[Ms Omaniac]

im definitely NOT saying youre a * * * *.

ive been in your exact shoes...that's why im saying i feel for your current gf.

i was once in a relationship where we got along great...had a lot in common...laughed a lot....i did find him attractive. but for some reason i felt like i was missing out on yet something more. i stayed with him despite my doubts though...hoping that they would eventually subside and id realize how great he is.

they never did...but he remained loyal and devoted. instead of me being cheated out on a great relationship...i cheated out my ex to a great relationship. he should have been dumped so that he could find someone that was crazy about him.

i eventually did break up with him. i also eventually found someone i was crazy about and he is crazy about me.

i dont think youre a * * * *. but i do think if you know you have doubts...maybe wait a little longer to see if they subside...but if they dont...then youre stringing her along and youre postponing yourself from finding someone youre crazy about.

[shorty20]

personally, if you are having feelings for someone else, I think it means there is something wrong in your current relationship. Now, as of now, you haven't done anything disloyal or disrespectful to your current gf, from the information given, and I would keep it that way. You can let her down easy, and just simply say she's a great girl, but the spark isn't there..... or, if you are even unsure of whether you want to let her go, suggest a break... just say you want to clear your head of a few things and want to spend a week or two apart. See how much you miss her or think about her. I think after the week or two is up, you'll know your answer. Hope everything works out, but PLEASE don't even begin to persue this new girl until you have things streightened out with your gf now. If you do try to "find things out" about this Katie girl, you could wind up losing a chance with both girls if it gets messy, which it probably would. Just be smart, and use good judgment. Good luck!

[valenski]

Hey Hoboken12

 

You sure about this attract you feel for Katie and it isnt something that will die after a month or so? Are you sure its just not infatuation? Think careful before you chose the road to take.

[2pac4live]

Honestly...

 

Im not a love type person, have my reasons...but i know this..

 

People (you) can sometimes get mixed feelings in a relationship which can either mean something is ->NOT RIGHT

 

I would try to spend some time having little communication with both, your gf and Katie and see which way the wind blows. Try not to dig your head in either of them. Keep in mind though your gf is pretty rare and would it be worth loosing all that you have with her, cuz of an erection in a different direction (using that word harshly)

 

You said: "The thing is my girlfriend is great, we have a lot in common, she's smart, loyal, giving, funny, everything I could want...almost"

 

Whats this almost that u speak of?

 

 

 

El_Sergio