Met a girl...

[Anthony M]

After about 7 months of pure hell (broke up with my ex after 2 years), I decided to go out with my brother to Hooters for a beer. Our waitress was beautiful (of course..). We started talking and found out that we went to the same grammer school, used to live by each other and go to the same college. She's going to take some classes that I had last year and I told her I can recommend her some good teachers that are pretty easy and shouldn't have a hard time passing at all.

 

I know Hooters waitresses get hit on a lot and I even asked her and she said it's part of the job and she doesn't mind it. We were hitting it off pretty good. She would come back as much as she could to talk to us (mostly me because my brother's married), and whenever they called her name for an order, she'd go serve it and quickly run back to our table after she was done. This went on for a little bit over an hour. After about 2 pichers of beer, I asked her if she ever wanted to hang out sometime. I told her, "I know you get this a lot and I'm not trying to be like any other guy in here, but since we have a lot in common, would you like to go out sometime?" Before I asked her, she said when guys ask for her number she writes down the store's number on the reciept. I just turned off my phone because I wasn't happy with the service and I'm currently looking for a new one. She said to give her mine because she doesn't like giving out hers especially where she works and she gets hit on everyday. I told her I don't have a phone so I gave her my email address. I asked for hers and she wrote it down on a napkin. She said she checks it everyday.

 

I don't usually pick up girls that work in environments that get asked out a lot (bars, clubs, etc), but I felt confident that I had a chance and with the feedback I was getting from her. This was lastnight and I told her that I'll stop by again sometime this week to come visit her. I haven't emailed her yet and was thinking about emailing her later tonight or tomorrow asking her what her work schedule is so I can come visit her for a drink. What do you think? Too early? Should I wait a little while longer before I email her?

 

I got her email so it's better than nothing I guess.. Hey, it's a start, right? I'm 25, she's 21 and has her own house. Wow! I also left her a $25.00 tip

[PocoDiablo]

Well, this is going to be a tough one. Right off the bat, I think you do not have a chance. But, hey, I could be wrong.

 

Assuming I am wrong, here is what you should think about doing.

 

1. Wait 5-7 days to email her.

2. Do not go back to the restaurant.

3. Send her a short email. Tell her hello, it was nice talking, and if she'd like to go out some WEEKDAY night (date and time, place like Starbucks). Do not give her your phone number or anything else. I mean keep it SHORT.

4. Wait. If you get a response within 1-2 days, she likes you. If not, you're done. Toss her email address and learn not to do that again.

5. Move SLOW. If you get a reply, WAIT a few days to get back to her - at LEAST 3. Remember, all the other guys who hit on her are DESPERATE and come at her at 100mph. You have to sit back and let her chase you a little.

 

Now you are going to get one of three responses:

 

1. Yes, I'd love to go out. (Good)

2. Yes, I'd love to go out, but I am busy that night so how about the next day? (Good)

3. Yes, I'd love to go out, but ... [ANY excuse.] (Bad)

 

If you get #3, you're done. She is not interested. Reply and tell her that is the only time you have and that's too bad she is not free. Then tell her that it was really nice to meet her and that you hope she does well. And say goodbye. That's it, you're done.

 

If you get #1 or #2 you've got a date. Just be yourself, be calm, and don't chase her too hard. For her, a desperate guy is a big turn on. You need to be the guy that SHE has to chase. Dunno if you can do that, but that's the basics. Remember, she gets chased every day ... it's not fun for her. Let her chase you. Be a mystery. Be funny. Be exciting.

 

For the record, next time do NOT leave a big tip. Leave a 15% tip at the MOST. You just threw money at her like she is a cheap prostitute and you can buy her. That is insulting to her, believe me.

 

Now here is the tricky part. If you do go out with her, is she always going to be working when you are off? You'll never see her if that is the case, which for me is the #1 reason not to date your waitress.

 

Good luck, keep us updated.

[Anthony M]

Thanks, Diablo. I'm pretty confident I can get her, I mean I'm not a bad looking guy I've dated girls from Hooters before years ago but I'm not going to mention that to her. I haven't been in the dating scene in almost 3 years. I fell so in love with my ex I almost forgot what dating was like.

 

I'll keep my email nice and short like you said. I'll wait until after New Years to email her. I haven't been to Hooters in almost a year (right by my house) so It's not like I go there and stalk the waitresses and everybody knows me, lol.. We were sitting right next to their work station where they fill out orders and at times there would be a bunch of them just standing there talking. Most of them were glimpsing over at our table. They saw us when we were exchanging information so I bet they were asking her after I left. You know, girls..drama..they love that stuff.

 

About the tip, yea I guess it was a little too much but I remember one of the waitresses I dated from there always talked about how much her biggest tip was so I guess that's good.. I guess no harm was done there.

 

I always had a moto in my head when I was single: Never Chase Always Replace. I gotta get back in my game.

[sibling295]

Send the email after New Years - keep it short - this is what dating is all about . The nervousness , the what if's everything.

Glad to hear you are back in the game , getting over a ex is hard .

[PocoDiablo]

Yeah, you're good looking. But you know what? If you depend on your looks you may get lazy and slip up. Just be sure to be a challenge to be with. I'm not sure of how your dating style is, but it seems like you have a reasonable theory about not chasing. I'm not so sure about the replace though!

 

So long as you can maintain a relationship I think you're fine. But if you get dumped a lot, or things go wrong, then maybe you should think about what goes wrong. That was what my problem was - pick up but never keep.

[Anthony M]

Looks certainly help, but I don't rely on it though. I have a saying: If you can make a girl laugh, she's yours.

 

I never really had problems with dating. I've always been relaxed and out going. Although I haven't been on a date in over 2 years, I'm pretty confident I still got it. I didn't considered 'dating' my ex when we were together, I considered it as being 'a couple'. I'm not nervous at all actually. I'm excited.

 

I'm planning on emailing her on Monday. And you're right about guys chasing her at 100 mph, Diablo. Any other guy in Hooters probably would of emailed her the second they got home. I bet she's wondering where my email is (I hope ).

[PocoDiablo]

I think your saying is good about laughing, but I always notice comedians seem to complain about being single. I gather that it's not enough to just be funny, you also have to keep a woman excited. I do that by going out at least once a week, new places, having fun, etc.

 

Yeah, if she likes you, she'll be wondering where the email is. I'd wait at *least* 4-5 days before emailing her. Even if it's too long, she'll still be thinking about you and when you do email she'll be all that more excited that you were NOT typical like all the other loser guys.

[ShySoul]

Anthony,

 

You don't need any help here. You don't need a plan of what to do or how to get her interested. You did everything just right when you were talking to her. You showed her you were a nice gentleman and that is what she responded to, that and the things you had in common. Just keep doing what you are doing. It's working. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.