In love with a married man! Can anyone help?

[knightbear]

im married and never met you ...just kidding

so you like your man amrried ..i know why you like em this way...its kinda like having your cake and eating it too

you see with married one you dont have to warried yourself about him if you dont want to ...you cam leave him in the cold at the drop of a hat and not worried yourself anymore ..........free to com and go as you will

[elesha222]

Hi there, as I read your message I started crying as I can empathize with what you are saying.

I am in a very similar boat. If you reply to this I will tell yu more.

Elesha

[Vincent1984]

Ahhhh~ All of u writes too much about it........ This is what I read from several books~~ Single "WOMAN" likes to "MESSED AROUND" with a "MARRY GUY"........... It's in their "NATURE" "STOLEN" fruit tastes better than "ORDINARY"fruits............... It's just pathetic...... But, I think it's the best way for a guy to get his dream gril, just tell her I AM MARRIED, AND I HAVE 3 KIDS",then u get her....... This is the "Ultimate" "Sneaky" move. BOYS keep that in mind. It works, and it's easy to do...... GIRLS who are in love with a married man, go find a "player" or someone u like, and ask him to lie to u that he's married and ask him to ask u out....., then u go to a shrink, and ask him to hipmitize u, so u don't remember that u loved a Married Man at all......, then u go with that player guy whose married(at least in front of u), and Have a Happy Ending~~~ PROBLEM SOLVED~~~~ GOSH~~~~~ more question?????? Tell me, I will more than happy to answer~~~ Damn~

[Vincent1984]

I think one of the reason u girls are sticking with those rotten guys is because u think........ur love with him is special.......That's why why we are with the one we love......., but if u killed that specialty, will u still love him as much, or is he standing on a equal ground now with other man......This is what I was trying to point out, and this is a "Experiment", that I am asking u girls to do......cuz....I am a boy........I don't know if it works or not........But if it works.......think about what it could mean to the woman around the world who are in love with married man, and crying every night......, and waiting for her love to come home......I wouldn't want it to happen on my girlfriend........If the guy really loves u, he will feel pain in his heart when he knows that u are waiting for him every nite in front of the TV(I am not talking about his wife, girls...., sometimes I am not clear, sorry)...... If someone could do it.....and reply to this forum....It will be greatly appreaciated....In fact, maybe I will walk down to ur door in person for saving many lifes.....Somebody plz, reply to this massage..

(P.S. The definition of the player I am talking about is someone who respect girls, yet he's every good at female phsycology, in other word, he's good at it when it is about girl, like the guy in the Movie-"Deliver us from Eva" which is still in the theater, plz do go watch the movie if u want to know further detail)

(P.S. This forum is way tooooooo long, and all that u they do is talk talk talk, but don't provide solution, that's not the way to solve a problem)

(P.S. Plz apply, even though u think that I am crazy, plz tell me, so I could know that I am WRONG)

[kel03]

it's not that he's married that I am attracted to...it's him and his special qualities. If those qualities about him are taken away and our feelings, then I would definitely prefer a single guy (more options and future possibilities of a long term relationship).

[Vincent1984]

Hmm, about that special qulity, I have a question.... Is it something like u think he's responsible cmpare to a single male, is he more reliable compare to single guy?? Are those the qualities u are talking about...., If they aer.....hmmm, girl u are in trouble..., u fall in love with those qulities only married man has........Maybe u likes him just because he's married...'

Can u tell us more about these "quality" thing?

[The Distant Waterfall]

Hi, I was just reading through some of the posts of the women who mess with married men, and it cracks me up that some of them rationalize doing it based on what the married man says about his wife. She doesn't do this, she doesn't get the "job," done right. Whatever! Men are just saying that to string them along. My ex got everything he needed and wanted from me, he just couldn't be faithful and was scared of being with just "one," woman forever. I have heard other guys when I have gone out since my divorce say the same things about the women in their lives. All she does is nag, she's cheating on me, she doesn't have sex with me anymore. What a crock! I tell them that too. Men just get bored. That is not to say all men are that way, just the one's that cheat. Women that cheat are that way too. Just wanted to share my opinion, don't mean to offend. I just think some people should look at it from the other side sometimes.

[BettyBoopQT1607306437]

I finally show my face again. God it has been long since I started with the affair, and I must say alot has gone on in here also. I am still with my married man for all of you who want to know. Things are working out wonderfully. I am not with him based on his relationship with his wife, we don't discuss her anymore. We did break it off for a while, but during that time I recooperated.

 

I have other men in my life now and I love it that way. It helps me keep my mind off of him when he is not around. My feelings for him will always be special. I really do believe I love him. I also believe his reasons for staying with his wife. Which to all you negative people are very logical. He has three little children, he is scared his wife will play games with them and he doesn't want to lose part of his law degree to her. I would stay too if you really think about it, wouldn't you. He also tells me when he does have sex with his wife, that he is honest about.

 

Besides the thought of him having sex with her and then coming to me makes me feel like I can satisfy him better than she can. It kinda turns me on. If all of these married guys wives were properly doing their jobs, they wouldn't be out looking for younger, more fun and more willing in the first place. It isn't that hard to put out every night and some people choose not to. We all have our needs. If you don't take care of your man, he WILL cheat on you. I would expect my husband to also. SORRY but that is the plain truth.

 

You know even if he did leave her, I want all of you to know that I wouldn't want him for myself. He is a liar. Not only is he married and cheating, but he is a lawyer too. That's a double whammie!

 

If you ask me I couldn't even tell you why I keep him around anymore. There are other married men in my life now. HAHAHA

 

You know what guys? Everyone has their preferences. Some of you choose to date single men, some black, some white, some men who are sepreated, and some of us just like men that are married.

 

Personally I get treated better by married men. I love the attention I get. That alone will never compare to the attention I get from a single guy.

 

Any questions, comments please feel free. I'd love to hear the reply I get to this one.

 

And to all you girls who are with married men; you keep doing what you're doing. There really is NOTHING wrong with it. All the tears and sleepless nights eventualy pay off. We are not stupid, we knew what we were getting into from the start. It's not life or death.

 

I can completely associate with you guys! Take advantage of the situation you are in, you'll never have it better.

 

And look at it this way: When we do get married we can write a book on how to keep a husband because of all the complainging we sit and listen to. LOL

[helpme]

Hey Girlie,

I am glad eerything is going great with the two of you. Where did you go?

[chacha]

I can understand how you feel, about the nights when you get lonely and about how you are starting to resent that man. i am currently in a relationship with a married man and this relationship has been going on for about a year. He works as a manager in a cafe and i met him there. At that time he was already engaged.. we started out as friends

He told me he loved me just six months after he got married, bringing about endless torment and gulit to me. i have never thought that one day i would be someone else's mistress and the feelings are no good.

Tried to leave him when his wife got pregnant but when the pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, i stood by him.. he loves his wife and as he claims, he loves me too. i love him too, though i know very well, all this is wrong.

bitterness and resentment start to grow and really it sucks. i have cried myself to sleep so many times when the feelings become too much to bear and i can only suffer all this in silence.. I have never told my frens about us, as shame stops me from saying anything..

Be brave and let go.. i am still mustering up enough courage to let go of all the love, care and concern he has shown to me... This relationship made me lose respect for myself and please do not let it happen to you..

[Erma]

 

It doesn't matter how old you are...you can still fall in love with a married man...speaking from experience!

 

When a married man talks consistently with a female whether she is single or, also, married, it brings about a bond. Maybe this isn't the first time it has happened to him and it probably will not be the last. I am sure that he has explained in many ways why he is having an affair...maybe, that there marriage is sexless, or that she doesn't know how to be aggressive, or that the physically part of their life is dead because of something that happened.

 

When you begin to take on emotions and are together in many ways, not always sexually, and enjoy each other's company, it is hard to let go. He may try, but if he truly cares he always comes back. thereforeeeeeee, it has to be you to let go and if he truly does care about you and wants what you two have for life, he will do something about it. Maybe there are reasons that he will not leave; married a long time; socially, what will people say; including family, will the kids understand (even if they are grown); there are many reasons to express, but the main one is that he wants something that you are giving and he isn't getting at home, or he wouldn't be looking for more, and he is familiar and comfortable at home and hates to deny that things aren't right there and will not take the initiative to do something about it.

 

As someone told me "you must give up you, to start being the person to do something about the situation". I, too, must face this giving up and it is hard, but I know that he may do it again and again with others and I would be the one at home (his wife may even sense it) just like she is now.

 

The more you stay away from seeing him or talking with him, the quicker you can turn a corner and find someone else who is free to give you the love and admiration that you need.

 

Seek counciling and give it a try.

[Sakura1607306452]

It's been 2 months since I made a painful decision to walk away from him. I'm a single woman and he's a married man. I was so deeply in love with him and I am still in love actually, but during the painful 2 months without having any contact with him, I learned something which I want to share with you. I met him at an all-night live of a certain artist and he offered me a drink after the live. It was like a magic when we found how well we clicked each other. We had even enjoyed comfortable silence at the small bar counter and occasional conversation later had proven that how we feel the same way towards things and how we like the same thing. We started dating regularly and after having slept with him for a few times, he confessed that he has a wife and two very young children. By the time, it was too late for me to give him up. We continued seeing each other and I still think that our relationship was the best thing I have ever got in my life. YET I walked away from him since I felt like I was loosing my sanity by his double-tongue and my last decency was frantically telling me to stop this hopeless affair. After coming back alone I researched what was our relationship. I visited both Marriage Builder site and The 50-mile site to see the aspect from both side. I read "lost love" books and "how to make love" books. I started vaguely feeling that what I thought was real love might not have been the real. The last piece of jigsaw puzzle was given from himself. I got a letter from him in which he confessed that he was, and still is, suffering from severe gamble addiction. He said that he made a huge amount of debt from unauthorized banks with a very high interest rate just to keep on betting at casino. He said he now understood that he is ill and he thanked me that because of my honesty and sincerity he decided to seek for a better/decent life. I visited "gambler's anonymous" site and found exactly the right description for him: Those who make frequent extramarital affairs and/or make huge debt for no valid reason are suffering from serious personality disorder and it is known to be very difficult to prescribe permanent remedy for such people. This disease is nothing to do with one's education, intelligence, or other part of one's personality. Such people just do not have the ability to handle real-life matters, lack sincerity about human relationship, and always over-optimistic about solving problems. That's him!! Some female victims are so innocent and normal that they get wrong perception that a person who seeks for her even if he is married must have very valid reason behind him. The truth is, NO, HE DOES NOT LOVE YOU, OR EVEN IF HE LOVES YOU, HE DOES NOT HAVE ABILITY TO OWE RESPONSIBILITY TO YOU. This is a mental illness. Wake up, girls, and start reading about gamble addiction. It should be much easier for you to understand gamble addiction syndrome. And it will explain everything about dishonesty of your married man. Sorry about this longuish post.

 

Just my 2 cents.

[Trinity1607306450]

Betty Boop ..

I suggest you print your posting, and the replies you received.

One day in the far off future you will perhaps be that tired wife,

the overworked mother to three children. Your looks won't be

your greatest asset anymore. Your confidence, which I suggest is

shrinking rapidly, will continue to deteriorate. What you are doing

is morally wrong, and only time and experience will teach you that.

My hope for you is that you learn to love and respect others, and to

love and respect yourself. As children, our parents or guardians are

responsible for how we are raised. As adults, we are responsible for

who we become. God bless you.

[Bless]

I'm just dealing with a recent parting from a married man that started as a mentoring relationship at work a year ago. I don't need to tell you how great the relationship was, b/c most of the woman reading this site, already know the intense level of emotions involved with an affair. Yes, I too believe my situation is different and I went through periods of time where I truly did gain from the affair. my man inspired and encouraged me to go back to school and get my MBA. I fell in love with him b/c he stuck by my side during the entire application process...and fortunetly, i can walk away from this knowing i gained more then a broken heart. this august, i'll be going away to a top MBA program, a dozen states away from him, it still hurts to know he's choosen the path to stay married. this man that i placed so high (and i'm sure you do as well) on a pedistool is truly nothing but a coward (in all it's greatness and sadness). it disappoints me to know he'll either stay in an unhealthy marriage or make the same mistakes over, and over, and over. As much as it hurts, i've always been a realist and equally, not a big fan of hurting myself. my heart hurts today, but I only get one shot at life, and I can either choose to rationalize my situations (like i noticed many of you doing) or I can move on today, and hope that my heart will hurt a little less tomorrow. with time, we move on b/c we are human. if my best friend can overcome losing her parents at the age of 11, i know i'll overcome losing a mm that was never really mine. no matter how much we think we're gaining from these relationships, we're really losing apart of ourselves and the beautiful strong woman we dream of being. some of us are lucky and we realize this sooner, and others, well they turn a shoulder and make excuses b/c of their deep seeded fear of never feeling the closeness they share with their mm. i'll leave you with two quotes, "freadom from fear is much more important then freedom from want". and the other is this:

 

Our situations can be sumed up in 5 chapters:

chapter one: I walk down a street. I don't see a large hole. I fall in...it is not my fault. I don't know where i am...i take forever to get out.

 

chapter two: I walk down the same street. I don't see the hole. I fall in...it is not my fault. I'm not sure where I am. i take a long time to get out.

 

chapter three: I walk down the same street. I pretend not to see the hole. I fall in it. It is my fault. I know where i am. I get out immediately.

 

chapter four: I walk down the same street. I see the hole. I choose to walk around it.

 

chapter five: I walk down a different street

 

good luck at setting your hearts at peace.

[lola0612]

Dear Betty,

All of this advice is much easier said than done. I'm sure you did not get into this relationship thinking 8) hhhmmmm how can I screw up his kids, his wife and my life! Highly doubtful. You fell in love someone and that's not so easy to walk away from. He obviously gets something from you that he's not getting at home. Consider yourself lucky. You get all the good parts of him the great sex and the companionship it sounds like you both need! But his wife gets the bills and the arguments and all that other bullshit that comes with a long term relationship. Every moment you two spend together is probably appreciated and enjoyed. Once you live with someone that all goes away it the romance goes out the door!!! Allthough I don't know if that is a way to live the rest of your life it can be fun for the time being. My advice to you is to enjoy what you have, but don't stop living your life and looking for your own partner in life. I nor any of these other poeple really know what you're going through or your whole situation and thereforeeeeeee can not give you the best advice, it's just easy for everyone else to say "oh that's wrong, what about the kids, morals morals morals" Let him worry about the kids and the wife those are his responsibility not yours!!! It's very easy to talk about morals and doing "the right thing" until you're in that situation. We're all human. Just make sure you're happy, if not definetely move on. Hope I have helped

[LDRinlove]

Rule : NEVER DATE A MARRIED MAN

 

enough said.....

[traveler1]

You are every adulterers wet dream girl! Sure he shows you affection as long as you provide him the cheap and easy side action his 4 inch ego demands.

 

You are being used for casual sex and are oblivious to that fact. That means you are his little on the side action. You are meat, sex without commitment or emotional involvement.

Obviously you offer no resistance to being used, claim to enjoy it and pose little threat or complications for his primary relationship with his wife. You are a casual sexual encounter nothing more and have no purpose other than serving him for the here and the now.

 

That is what he will tell his wife when she discovers the infidelity 3 months from now. Casual seex affairs last 3 - 9 months before he ends it, being so dumb and careless he is discovered.

 

He will fall off the face of the earth without a trace and leave you hanging. You are nothing to him. That will be your cue to go to his house and serve rabbit stew.

 

Men like him are too lazy to make their own marriage work and their love life sizzle so they find someone easy to dupe and fool. Someone like you who will do all the work for them.

 

You are a victim. Fortunately there is hope as you have no future with such a man. And what have you got if you do?

 

Once a cheat always a cheat. A man is only as good as his word. His word should be as good as gold. He gave his word of honor to be faithful to his wife. Obviously he is a liar and his word is no good. He has no credibility, character nor honor. How can you even begin to respect such a person?

 

He is victimizing you and his wife at the same time. People who cheat on their spouses are selfish and cheat in all other aspects of their life as well. His ego demands that he cheats you out of pursuing other options and prospects. He is wasting your youth and your time.

 

He is wasting his wives time as well. I'm sure she is not aware that she is in an open marriage and just as free to fool around as he is. I bet he forgot to mention that to her.

 

His wife sits at home loyal and trusting him just as you sit there trusting the same liar and a cheat. It's worse for you because you have no excuse. You already know he is a liar and a cheat.

 

His wife doesn't even suspect it, the poor fool. She is shackled to a one sided commitment while you are locked up with empty promises.

 

So sit there if you want to. Sit and wait in a perpetual state of chastity. Locked away like some casual sex Rapunzel while life passes you by.

 

Or break free from this viciously selfish, soulless creature and meet your real potential. Lift the veil of deception and get ready to kiss your real Prince. I'm sure he is out there somewhere, searching for wonderful you.

[baby_li]

girls...i am actually into the same prob you are going through...but i'm happy...i am 19, and the married guy is 33...before i entered into this relationship, he and his wife are really about to separate from each other...the girl has psychological problems, they have been married for 5 years, and no kids...

he is actually my former professor in a certain subject...we've been friends for more than a year, and while we were friends, i never thought that such thing could happen to us...i love him so much...for so many reasons...and i'm dead sure he loves me too...his wife is actually the first who's involved with another man...her wife couldnt give up the guy, and could not choose...he waited for 2 years, and still. his wife couldnt decide...so he end up deciding that they should give up the marriage...after all this, here i am...in the picture...

i was suffering from depression, and he learned about it from my closest friend...he tried to help my by talking to me in private, but his intentions are really pure...when he gave me help, that was all he wanted to give...nothing more...after i opened up to him everything, we just found ourselves hugging each other...we are both depressed at that time...

 

i've no regrets...and i'm willing to wait until such time they are legally separated...this man is a christian, and giving up his marriage is the least thing he would do...

 

there were times when i was actually asking him if his wife does things for him to save their relationship, and i asked him if he feels that his marriage is hopeful...but he answered me by saying, "i wouldnt be in this relationship, if i feel or see that there is hope in this marriage.."...u guys just dont know how good it feels on me right now...i see that there is future HE AND ME in this relationship...and i wont hold on to this feeling if i would be hurting his wife...though it would pain me so much, if one day he realizes that his marriage will still work out...i'll give up...cos its the right thing to do...and it would hurt so much more if i stay...and patiently hope, that someday he'll choose me over his wife...

 

its going to be unbearable for me if he leaves me...but if i truly love him...i should hope the best for him...if he couldnt find ways to give up on me..i'll do it for him...if he cant choose me over his wife, for whatever reason it is...then our love isnt meant to be...

 

i love this man so much...if things wont work out for us...i would have to accept it...and be happy that for a time, i felt what it is like to be loved...and be happy...but if things would work...we have plans of getting married...i just hope that nothing bad will happen...i'm just so happy...that even if i dont expect or ask anything from him, he would want this relationship to last forever, with god's blessing...i just hope god will bless this...this man gave me life...i love him...all i know right now is i'm happy

[traveler1]

Sweetheart,

 

I'm writing this because I've been on both sides of this fence and had to learn the hard way.

 

This child molesting pervert is taking such advantage of you! I swear there should be a law against college professors taking advantage of students (there is!)and your state should raise the age of consent to 30 – based on you alone!

 

You are greedily swallowing every line in the philanderers how to (and golden rule) book! He has you so snowed! Your reasoning process is proof of it! The way you are thinking right now one can't even believe you passed Jr. High, let alone made it to college! He is messing with your mind!

 

Honey, every cheating guy claims his wife is a frigid, ugly, stupid whore, asexual mother figure, just a roommate, like a sister, crazy, never lets me go down on her, refuses to have sex with me, mentally unstable, terminally ill, dying of a brain tumor, demented, a total horrible psycho bitch -- who will come and kill you if he leaves her or she finds out about you .... He will say and claim anything else you will believe that will get him the casual sex and young stuff he's after.

 

Additionally, cheaters always claim their marriages and relationships are terrible, loveless, have something missing, they are not getting something needed at home, and it's always the wives fault!

 

Total B.S! What is wrong here is -- the guy. He is a Pig! He is either just getting a little young stuff on the side or he has esteem & male menopause, midlife crisis issues. he may well be abusive, he is probably a total pervert as he is already being deviant just for bedding with you.

 

You would be shocked if you really knew what he has lined up for you in the way of out of the norm sex acts. You are just barely seeing the real pervert he is!

 

Infidelity is a form of domestic violence. The fact that he is taking advantage of your age and exploiting his position shows he has a baby raper and over all rapist mentality!

 

Guy's like that have a tendency to get violent when things don't go their way! You just try to tell his wife or put his tenure into jeopardy by reporting him to the college where he is employed and you will see a whole different, not so sweet talking guy. You will probably end up with your mouth duct taped shut, getting the hell beat out of you before this is all over.

 

A whopping 89% of all men who cheat are physically and or mentally abusive to their wives at some point.

 

Can you even begin to imagine how it feels for the wife to see all the signs of infidelity and know that her husband is probably cheating while he is lying through his teeth and denying everything, admitting nothing, demanding proof and convincing her she is unstable or even crazy?!

 

That kind of psychological torture is listed under the Geneva convention violations -- as cruel and unusual.

 

He is probably cheating on you as well but you are feeling so secure and like you are all that you are not even in the mindset to suspect anything.

 

Cheaters like him lie around the clock 7/24 -- to everybody!! He lies to his wife, to you about his wife and obviously everything else, lies to his family and even to himself.

 

And if all else fails he can always claim the Devil made him do it or he will blame you because you tempted him with your evil wanton slut ways. He will lie till the day he dies - about everything!

 

Why? Because he wants to keep his tenure or job and since 72% of infidelity ends in divorce – he wants to keep his marriage.

 

He probably does have kids and loves his wife. You are JUST sex. That's what he will tell his wife - trust me.

 

And IF his wife is a nut job then he most likely drove her to it -- with prolonged mental cruelty.

 

Cheaters see girls like you as young stuff. If you like being stuff – meat – then you need to get some esteem counseling. Run don't walk!

 

Dirt bags who cheat on their marriages with little girls like you will say anything! Of course he will slam his wife to you! He lies and trashes his wife and anything else that will get you to open your legs anytime he wants it. All cheaters lie to everyone, especially if the little on the side slice is young, like you.

 

He is very greedy as he is risking getting nabbed. Young girls are risky! Older women can handle the truth, but little girls like you still have to have everything sugar coated and wrapped in gossamer and rainbows.

 

He is going to say anything that will keep your mouth shut and get him laid. All he cares about is getting his slimy lizard drained by ANY girl around your look and age.

 

Not that he probably cares what you think ... but how else is he going to NOT make himself look like the exploiting child rapist and scheiss heel he is? How better to cover up the fact that he is just a low life, deceitful, cheating, disgraceful gunk ball?

 

Do you really want to hear how much he really loves and adores his wife? How good she cooks or how smart she is? That he has 2.3 kids and a little dog named Spot? Do you think he will tell you that he wishes you would be more like his wife and do more than just lay there? How he wishes you knew how to please him the way his wife does? How he wishes he could train you more quickly to do ALL the perverted grown up sex acts like anal and other stuff his wife lovingly and eagerly performs, agrees and submits to?

 

Honey, trust me – he is having the time of his life! He's tagging both of you and probably other young girls, like crazy!

 

He is just using you for a little casual young slice of XXXX barely legal sex on the side! The wife may even be in on it! I bet there are mini spy cameras all over the place when he's doing you!

 

AND he is probably OLDER than he claims too.

 

Trust me -- Men his age are happy to pay well over $500.00 for a one hour's lizard draining session with young girls like you -- and they HAVE TO WEAR A CONDOM before the girls will even touch them. He exploiting you!

 

He is getting you for free for as long as he wants and I bet you don't make him wear that oh so hated condom!

 

You my dear, are being naïve and totally being used! Grow up and take your life back! Tell your parents and all your friends. Call his wife! Then report him to your school – I have known of Professors losing their tenure over stuff like this. Good luck to you – regardless!

[baby_li]

it may be impossible for you guys to believe...but its true...in fact, he's just waiting for his wife to leave their house...and be able to tell the people around them that they plan to make their separation legal...he's taking it one day at a time...they have no kids...in fact, they're going to sell the house and give his wife her money...

 

as for me, he's no longer my professor...i know his background, ang he's one decent guy...i wouldnt hold on to him if his marriage wont be anulled...he's a friend of mine that's why i know his background...

 

thanks so much for your concern...but i'm sure of this...even his co-teachers are aware that he's going to separate from his wife anytime soon...for some reason i believe him...i know that there are really a lot of dirty old man out there...but i know this guy...i am so much in love with him...it may seem 'blind love' for all of you...but i love myself as well...and if this relationship would only be temporary, or will not be blessed by God in the future...i will let go of it...i wont hold on to something that can never be mine...thanks so much...

[PBarrett]

Trust me on this. He is using you. Period! If he didn't want to remain married to his wife, he would have already left her. This is something on the side for him. He may tell you his wife doesn't understand him or a million other excuses but they are all lies. He is still with her and remains married. Eake up. This is NOT the best relationship you have been in. He is married to someone else. Find someone who will love you! That will be the best relationship you will have. Do not settle for another woman's husband. A man who would cheat on his wife.....is not a man you would want anyway. If you were married, wouldn't it hurt you to have your husband cheat? Think of his wife and yourself. Have more respect for yourself.

[UNHAPPY]

I too am involved with a married man for 4 1/2 years.

 

I believed him when he said he was unhappy. Well, sure he was unhappy with his marraige on that day and all the others days he said he was. What I didn't know was that there are just as many happy days - that's just life - you have some good days and you have some bad days.

 

I believe I actually enable him to stay in his marraige. What he is trying to hold onto that no longer exists in his marraige is easier for him because he's not really missing what no longer exists with her because he has it with me. Basically, both of us make him happy. But if I was not the one filling in the missing blanks - I'm sure there would be someone else. However, I'm the one that is on the short end of the stick.

 

I have several other friends who were or are in the same boat and they say it may last five years but that is it - what you have will no longer be enough. In hindsight, my advice is move on, separate from him entirely (it will be very hard), and be open to other people and relationships. If you had a good relationship with him, you will have an even better relationship with someone who treats you as Number 1. If you cannot separate, then treat him the same way he treats you. Start seeing someone else and make him your side dish. See how he feels about that. If he does not feel anything, then he doesn't love you. Keep seeing other people until you no longer want him. If you have to, tell you friends to fix you up, join a gym or dating service. Just get yourself out there. Move on.

 

I wish you the best of luck!

[baby_li]

most married guys who are in this kind of relationship could really be not telling the truth...but i know, this guy i'm seeing i doing otherwise...i trust him so much...

 

the reason why he's still living with his wife is because, his wife is not yet ready to tell her parents why they have to part ways...her parents will not approve of the guy she's going te remarry...in fact, the girl has decided to convert from christianity into muslim..(this is because the guy she's having an affair with is a muslim)...another reason why this guy i'm seeing couldnt just let her leave the house or push her away, is because, the girl is into depression, the girl is into therapy and medication...if the guy i'm seeing would leave her without supporting her as her friend and support her financially too, the girl could have committed suicide...and he doesnt want to be responsible of that...and bring that guilty feeling for the rest of his life...i understand his situation...and i believe i know everything...

[SayinWhatUWont]

As Always.......Hello Enotalone Fam....

 

And Welcome Ms. Boop.......I am going to TRY to be nice....k...

 

Here we go:

 

October 25 of last year you LOVED THIS ARTICLE.....

 

Thinking about committing adultery? Adultery happens when one person in a romantic relationship is married. Both people do not have to be married but both people involved in the relationship are adulterers. By Mark Goulston, M.D.There are no positive reasons for dating a married man. Even the good reasons don't stand the test of time and turn out to be bad ideas in good ideas' clothing. If you find yourself on the brink of temptation, look at these 10 truths before you leap:

 

 

1. He won't commit to a future with you. A man who is in a very unhappy or unsatisfying marriage can feel swept away by how wonderful you make him feel. He may even blurt out, "I've never felt this way before and I can see spending the rest of my life with you." This may sound like a commitment to a future with you. It's not. Don't confuse his loving the way you make him feel with his loving you and making a commitment to you.

 

2. Cheating on his wife tells you how he deals with any situation he doesn't like. You are evidence of his avoiding dealing with unpleasant situations head on. This means that he's likely to resort to some devious behavior with you if the two of you encounter relationship problems.

 

3. Hiding is exhausting. Having to keep your relationship a secret can attack your self-esteem and cause you to miss out on one of the wonderful aspects of a relationship. Walking together freely and radiantly through the world can fill you with the glow of being with someone who is proud to be with you.

 

4. He's got his cake and is eating it, too. He has a legitimate married relationship that helps his public persona and he has an illegitimate one with you to make up for what he's missing in his marriage. As appreciative as he sounds, many women who are involved with married men come to resent his having the best of both worlds, when she has the least.

 

5. Can you love someone who is so disrespectful of his wife? The existence of your relationship with a married man tells you how little he respects his wife by lying to her instead of being a man and telling her he wants out.

 

6. Lose his respect and it's over. Even though he's the one who pursued you. Even though he's the one that made it difficult to say "No." And even though he tells you how wonderful you are. At some level, he's going to have trouble respecting you for settling for such a flawed relationship. Like the Groucho Marx joke, "He may not want to be of a relationship that would have him as a partner."

 

7. You're not a home wrecker, just an accomplice. Like it or not, you are a willing participant in a man violating his vows and betraying the trust of his wife -- not to mention grossly disappointing his children and making it difficult for them to see him as a role model.

 

8. You're kidding yourself. Despite his reassuring you how much you mean to him, his not ending his relationship with his wife in an above-board and respectful way -- and not beginning a legitimate relationship with you -- are actions that speak louder than words.

 

9. Beware the guilt boomerang. Many men (and women) have difficulty accepting full responsibility for their deceitful actions. Human nature finds it easier to blame than to accept shame. If he is caught by his wife or conscience, don't be surprised if he tries to blame you and get you to take the fall.

 

10. Time is too precious to waste. Ever notice how quickly the years go by as you get older? Because it's convenient and comfortable, a relationship with a married man can go on for a long time -- and before you know it, eat up the precious time you might have had in a healthy relationship with a chance of flourishing. When people who have been involved with married men finally move on, they often regret having wasted the time in a dead-end affair.

 

 

************************************************************

 

You can't. We women just can't control our feelings once we're in love. If you don't already want him all to yourself, it won't take long before you do.

So remind yourself of this: "nice and wonderful" men don't cheat on their wives. He may be telling you the truth, but he's lying and sneaking around at home.

Married men can be so charming; they leave all their nastiness at home with their wives and you only see the good side. I've had a couple of those kinds of relationships myself. Both times, I wound up broken hearted and the man stayed married.

If you're smart, you'll learn from my experience, and get out now. If you're the kind of person who only learns from her own experience, you'lLprobably hang around until the bitter end -- until his wife finds out, or until he finds another playmate. Meanwhile, you're facing years of being alone on holidays and handling crises without help.

Of course, you're probably hoping he's going to divorce his wife and marry you. But is that really what you want? To switch roles and become the one he's lying to while he's having honest pillow talk with someone else? (Believe me, men rarely change their patterns.) Even if he suddenly becomes true-blue, you'll never have him all to yourself; he'll have lifelong obligations to his former wife and family.

You deserve a man of your own, and your child deserves a real family. Tell the married man you're breaking up with him, get back into dating, and get busy with other things. It may be hard at first, because you've fallen for this guy, but the surest way to get over him is to find someone else who can be all yours.........

 

 

Then you have the nerve to come back June 2003 with this BS...

About 5 months ago I met this attorney on line and decided to meet him for dinner and drinks. At first sight of each other it just seemed so right! The attraction was there from our first hello and we both seemed amazed at how well we clicked. Well needless to say, that first night we made love and it was the most passionate, erotic, sensual, awesome experience of both of our lives. Now 5 months have gone by and it hasn't changed. The relationship is perfect. He shows me affection, spends time with me, we laugh together, we like the same things. It is so obvious that we are both in great need of affection, attention and companionship. It isn't just about sex!

 

Posters like you need your own room with this crap.......

 

Either shit or get off the pot..........

 

Son't ask for advise for something you already know the answers to and then try to get smart and talk crazy to the people that try to help you.

 

As I have told YOU before.......Stop playing these childish games for attention. And by the 7891 views of EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR post.....

 

Jeez Man........There are people here with problems they are really try to deal with....It's SHAME ON THE ROOM for allowing her game to continue (and not in this Forum alone)

 

I wish you all the luck. Luck is what you will need when you run into the wrong one be it the man you won't leave, his wife, THEIR kids...........

 

God be with you while you keep skippin through the days like a LITTLEGIRL.....God Forbid you are FORCED TO deal with that same man as the woman his wife is....And trust that the majority of the crap he tells you about her is so not true..........

 

I think you need to read you own advise again and STOP THE BULLSHIT AND GROW UP....................

[pi_anochik]

I really do think you need to realize that there IS something wrong with what you are doing. NO, it is NOT wrong to fall in love. There is nothing in any way wrong with falling in love, even if the man is married, but what you are doing IS wrong. You are breaking a bond of God. It is in countless places in the bible. Adultry is a sin. Also, you DO need to look at how this is going to affect his family. By helping a man cheat on his wife, you are being so extremely selfish. It isn't fair to anyone.