The Distant Waterfall

Hi, I was just reading through some of the posts of the women who mess with married men, and it cracks me up that some of them rationalize doing it based on what the married man says about his wife. She doesn't do this, she doesn't get the "job," done right. Whatever! Men are just saying that to string them along. My ex got everything he needed and wanted from me, he just couldn't be faithful and was scared of being with just "one," woman forever. I have heard other guys when I have gone out since my divorce say the same things about the women in their lives. All she does is nag, she's cheating on me, she doesn't have sex with me anymore. What a crock! I tell them that too. Men just get bored. That is not to say all men are that way, just the one's that cheat. Women that cheat are that way too. Just wanted to share my opinion, don't mean to offend. I just think some people should look at it from the other side sometimes.

Hi, my divorce was final December 2nd 2002. I still can't believe it's over. We met back in 1994, went to college together, did everything together. We moved in together I believe in October 1999. I had a total of 2 miscarriages throughout our relationship which he didn't seem to care about, but I just thought it was because he was 2 yrs younger and it was a maturity issue. He also didn't seem in a rush to get married because everytime the subject came up we would end up arguing, but during the summer of 2001 he completely seemed to change his attitude. He started to treat me better, talked about how he wouldn't mind if we had a baby, then the talk of marriage came up and he was like, well lets pick a date. So we evidentially came up with September 29. I kind of was not in the happy we're getting married mood for a while due to 9/11, but when the day came he was so handsome and I was so happy. We were married outside in a park, it was a beautiful day. We went to gatlinburg/pigeon forge, TN for our honeymoon and he was so great to me. I love waterfalls and other beautiful sights like that, he drove me around the Smokeys just to see if we could spot some waterfalls in the mountains, he was always offering to take pictures for me which he did. He woke me from the chalet in the mountains we stayed in when the sun was rising because it was so pretty. He did all these beautiful things. We went and had lunch one day at the Nascar Cafe (he's a nascar fan,) where we got our pictures taken in a photo booth with a heart around it. He seemed so happy. He smiled with me by his side like he had never in the past. I thought I had grown even closer to him on this honeymoon, I thought we had grown closer together, but that wasn't the case. We came back and it was okay for a while, but by the time spring came he started acting strangely. I got a new job in which I worked in the evenings and every Friday night he would stay out until 3am. He never did this before. He started being very rude to me in front of his family and friends. Picking fights for no reason. This was such a shock to me. He just left me one day and filed the next. It was a really sad day in August, we didn't even stay together a year after getting married. He did not try to contact me about the stuff he left behind nothing, he refused counseling, said the therapist would just laugh at us and ask why we got married in the first place. We did talk a week after he left me because I called him. He outright told me I was not good enough for him, but he hadn't been cheating he never cheated, but I have found out differently recently. He went right from our 8 1/2 yr relationship to another one and now lives with some little girl. His family never contacted me to see how I was nothing. They all think they are too good for me. My dad recently had a heart attack in which I know my ex knows and he didn't try to contact me or my family or friends about it. He has turned into a total stranger. I am getting ready to move out of the place we moved into together. Ever since he has left, I still expect to hear his truck pull into the drive, his keys at the door, the sound of his boots on the kitchen floor, and at night I still expect to see him walk down the hall and ask me to turn the tv down a little. I miss his face and his voice, but then again I think about the times his voice had made me ill with his cold words. Even after being apart for over 6 months he still haunts me. If I ever get married again, it better be to someone who takes committment seriously. I had given my ex plenty of chances to get out before we were married, before we had even lived together. I am so sorry this is very long, but finding this site I really felt it was time to express my feelings.