Training your mind? Is it possible?

[adidas7fire]

Is it possible to train your mind to not think about the person that you love most? What I mean by that is while I'm at work or somewhere where my boyfriend is not with me, I can't help but think about him. It's not a trust issue or anything but it leaves me depressed that he isn't with me and longing for him. I get to listen to the radio when I'm work but it seems like all the songs I hear relate to loving someone or about the holidays and being with the people that you care about. So I was wondering if there was anything that people have done to kind of keep their minds occupied when not around their signif other so that they aren't sad. Thanks!

[the yang to the worlds yin]

hobbys hobbys hobbys

[adidas7fire]

You can't exactly do hobbies while doing a 8-5 job, ;-), but thank you for that.

[Cooperstown]

All depends on your job, if its something you can really throw yourself into then yes very possible. Just really focus on your job and you should be good to go, but if you guys are good I don't see the point of trying to keep your mind off of someone that you love the most. Seems like it would defeat the purpose.

[chai714]

I would talk to a psychologist about this. It can be done, for sure. In my opinion, it can be achieved by shaking up your life - changing the things you do, when you do them, how you do them, and how doing all those things will affect your thoughts. The mind is very complex, but can be controlled to some degree although emotions can get the best of us at times.

[Dako]

Marry the guy. That should do the trick!

 

Sorry, Couldn't resist.

I'm just envious of your problem and wish I were in your shoes.

You're lucky to care about him so much. Time will soften that longing so you can function better, but it'll still be there. It's part of the package.

[Dregnought]

Longing can be used as a tool to maximise your effective work load. Rather then try and 'remove' your longing for him, try and turn it into a work-reward scheme.

 

Work with him on your mind, seeing him as the reward. And teh harder you work, the better your reward will feel. Meaning that it can increase your workload AND your feelings for your bf. And your boss might giv your a pay rise, permote you, or something else. Who knows?

[hcochick]

does he loves you back?

[blueangel]

Time is going to take this away. For now, you can condition your mind to do whatever you want it to, but what helps the most is talking and having the support of friends. If you happen to have no friends(hey- some people dont) then what you are doing here is right. Just remember all things are temporary and let your job be top priority so you CAN get things done without thinking of your ex. What we focus on is all a matter of what we want to. Sometimes feeling is dealing and sometimes it IS good to think through what you've been through. It's when it starts interfering with your life that it becomes a problem. Maybe you are thinking that there was more you could have done, but I think that the things that happen were meant to based on the people that we are. Sometimes things aren't entirely our fault and they wouldnt have happened any other way.

[blueangel]

Speaking of training your mind, have you ever heard of lucid dreams and astral projecting? It's so cool (I'm not crazy, really)

[adidas7fire]

blueangel, thanks for your reply, however, my boyfriend and I are not broken up. We are very happy together.. it's just the fact that I think so much about him when I know he's at his job just going through the day with other things occupying his mind such as his website, job, huge family, etc. I have a few close friends that I talk to from time to time but he's got a ton of friends that he converses with... so there's never a dull moment in his life. For me, I'm more on the quiet side with few friends, a substantially small family, and job... but of course I have some hobbies that can pass the time, however, when I get home, I want to devote that time to us and not to my hobbies, you know? I mean, we don't see each other all day... and I miss him like crazy.

 

And to answer the other response, yes, he loves me and plans to marry me in the future -- that's so not an issue.

[blueangel]

ooooh!

 

Then, uh- I dont think you want that to go away if you're so in love

[Dako]

Even after 20 years, I felt the same way about my ex wife, although in the beginning it was almost debilitating.

 

Be sure to keep up with your own personal hobbies and interests so he doesn't bear the burden of being your entire universe. Enjoy the miracle of being in love as it unfolds. There's nothing better in life.

 

Well maybe there is, but it eludes me.

[Gorax]

Play violent video games, or think of violent thoughts. If you love him, you won't want him in those thoughts =)

 

Don't get carried away though! Wouldn't want to go on a killing spree the moment a co-worker pissed you off. BOOOOOOM, HEADSHOT!

[adidas7fire]

Lol.. thanks Gorax.. I don't think I'm going to take it that far! ;-) I guess my main concern is that I don't want HIM to think that he's the only thing I think about -- meaning, I don't want it to seem as though if he weren't around, I couldn't handle it or that I couldn't find something to occupy my time with. I don't want to suffocate him and seem clingy and that's my main concern for all of this.

[blueangel]

Play violent video games, or think of violent thoughts. If you love him, you won't want him in those thoughts =)

 

Don't get carried away though! Wouldn't want to go on a killing spree the moment a co-worker pissed you off. BOOOOOOM, HEADSHOT!

 

 

Whatever works for YOU.