friends with ex, but no going back

[whatchamacallit]

Just wondering people's opinions of getting back into communication with an ex-husband. It was a mistake to divorce him a year and a half ago, but it happened. He wants to get back together. I don't want to. We were married for many years. How many people know they made a mistake, but don't want to go back into the past and redo? Does this make sense?

[Becks23]

I understand what you mean and to be honest, I would say it would be a personal decision to get back together. If you wanted to get back with your ex, I would suggest to think long and hard about it before making the decision. If you don't want to get back together, be honest with him. If the situation between you both is alright then don't change things unless you really want them to change!

 

Becks xx

[perseverance_rules]

thats one of those questions only YOU can answer. No one else can make that decision for you at all...I know youre seeking advice, but the answer to that question is in your mind. I havent known many people that lasted after getting re-married, but it does happen.

[Mrocza]

You can't live your live for someone else.

 

If you are happier not with him, or even just realize it isn't meant, there's nothing else to discuss. Just be honest with him. Tell him you'll always have a place for him in your heart, but not the place he wants. You shouldn't have to change what you want or think it's wrong.

[whatchamacallit]

Thanks for your imput. I miss my house, his family. Everything...but him. Does that sound crazy? And sure, it would make my children and him happy for me to come back. But what's done has already been done. Just wondered how people felt.

[ocrob]

Hi there,

 

I'm curious about you saying it was a mistake to divorce him. It sounds like you want to be with him, but then say that you don't miss him. I am just confused. Is it that you are scared to be hurt again or there are just issues that can not be resolved? I apologize I am just a bit confused.

[whatchamacallit]

I left my husband for someone else. The someone else didn't work out.

[chai714]

Sounds like you miss the attention or just "having someone" rather than him in particular.

 

At least you can admit that you left him for someone else. Now, you're just living the consequences of your decision.

[redandblack]

Hey,

 

To me it sounds like there were underlying issues that were never truly dealt with. I could be wrong though. This isn't a pride issue is it?

 

Either way, I would let him know there will be no getting back together. You may loose your friendship with him because of this, but it's all a part of the game, I suppose. Honesty is the best policy, here.

 

Take care

[whatchamacallit]

Yes, you are all probably right. I miss having that special someone in my life that gives me attention. Like I said, I know I made a mistake by leaving my ex-husband, even though I had wanted out for YEARS!! It's like you know you made a mistake in the first place. Someone came along and gave me attention and the promise of a "fantasy land life" and I took the chance. Life issues got in the way of me having a life with my "fantasy man". Now, that he's not in my life, it makes me miss what I left. My ex and I do have a friendship, but I don't want to remarry him because of trust issues and I feel I don't and never did truly love him like a wife should. I do love him in a way because he's the father of my two children. I hope this is making sense.