i lie to my bf about everything

[quackie]

I have lied to my bf from the very beginning of our relationship. There were things about my past that I didn't want him to know. I have bi-polar disorder and have lots of problems handling my finances. I'm on medication but I have a drinking problem that goes along with being bi-polor. I have recently gone thru a divorce it is my second divorce and it is was more than I could bare.

I started drinking heavily and wasn't managing my finances. I bounced my checking account and wrote a check on a no/account. I got arrested and charged with fraud. Before you jump to any conclusions I have never ever been in this kind of trouble before. My bf bonded me out of jail i got back on my medication and haven't drinken a drop of alchohol since.

I'm trying really hard to straighten myself out but of course my bf no longer wants anything to do with me. And I can't say I blame him.

I wish I could take this all back but I can't and I can't stand this damn illness because I really am a good person and the older I get the more it progresses.

 

I told myself not to get involved in anymore relationships because I don't want to hurt anyone the way I have hurt him.

 

I have lost my identity to bi-polar disorder.

[pierlessblake]

you sound like you really have some deep issues. drinkin especially when it's out of control can ruin a person life. I comend you for admitting you have a drinking problem and trying to become a better person. also you should no better than to mix any guy of alchohol with medications. i hate to say it but you were just asking for it. omg, you got yourself put in jail and your bf bonded you out and you lie to him. lying is bad, you have alot to straigthe out! sorry for being so harsh, but i think you need to hear it.

[DN]

Some things you should do and then tell your boyfriend you have done them:

 

Get good treatment for the bi-polar disorder - if you are already make sure it is good treatment or seek someone else.

 

Join Alcoholics Anonymous for the drinking problem - they are in the phone book.

 

Seek debt consolidation and finance-management advice. There may be free counseling services - look on the internet or in the phone book. Keep looking until you get something to help you.

 

Take responsibility for your own actions - blaming depression, alcohol or anything else won't help you. Make a decision to change your life - starting now.

 

Tell your boyfriend you are sorry you lied and are making serious and sustained efforts to change your life.