I Want To Contact Him. Help Me Not to!

[lizzy22]

Hey Everyone.

I never thought that my once strong self would be in such a pathetic mess. I miss my ex a lot today, and Im regretting my break up email i sent last tues.

 

I dont know why Im feeling this way, as he was verbally abusive, and treated me like a child sometimes.

 

Maybe Im just thinking of all the good times, but I just want to email him so bad today for some reason and tell him that I didn't want things to end the way they did, and that I was just angry at him when I sent him that email.

 

I have posted many times before about this situation, but basically my ex misunderstood me having attitude last tues, hung up on me before I was even able to explain myself, and wouldn't take my calls for over 2 hours when I apologized pathetically for my "attitude." My attitude was because my car was broken into, and when he finally called back, he felt a little bad, but he still wanted to know what the cops said, if I had a police report, etc, like he didn't believe me. he thought it was all an excuse. He brushed me off, said sorry about my car, and said he would call me later that night to talk.

 

I was so mad at him i sent him an email saying that I had had enough of his insensitive attitude and the way he NEVER would accept my apology or let anything go.

 

It gets old, but I did NOT want our 2 year relationship to end by an email. I sent him that email last tues, but I also said in it how much i loved him, but the way he was treating me was unbearable. I haven't heard back from him, and I feel so bad now because I care about him...

 

I know if he really wanted to he could fight to win me back, but he hasn't, and im just feeling bummed like breaking up with him that way was a mistake.

 

Please everyone help me from emailing him or contacting him.

[Smarie]

You do not deserve to be in a relationship that is abusive in any way. After 2 years, if you have talked about it before and nothing has changed, its probably not going to change. If you did try to work it out now, its like he would be a wolf in sheeps clothing, thats who he really is, and before long, it will return. A break up always leaves you thinking about the good times and what you shared. It will be hard at first, but you will realize over time that you should not be treated like that. Good luck!!!

[wwj]

I feel for you, I really do. I know that we love people that don't treat us the way we want. But here's the point: If he hasn't contacted you, believe me, no matter how stubborn he is, he doesn't want you. If you contact him, you will establish the standard that he can treat you however he wants and you will not only forgive but come after him and take him back. Please don't. Have more love for yourself

[Lil Punkin]

Hey Lizzy...

 

Hang in there. This will pass....Trust me it will. Don't give in.If you contact him and get nothing you will feel even worse tomorrow..then you have to start OVER. Ugh!! Get out a calendar...and for ONE month, cross out the days of NC....Try to stay busy if you can. I know it's tough ..

 

This site is also a great outlet..albeit VERY addictive..but helpful nonetheless!!

 

I'm in NC right now with someone, and if you feel weak, post here or PM me...

I am more than happy to 'shame' you out of contacting your jerky ex. lol

 

Hows that for a start?

[DN]

Every time you feel you want to contact him then think about how he was verbally and physically abusive and then don't pick up the phone.

 

But for future reference, you may want to do something about your own attitude problems. You said in a previous post that you can be annoying. That does not give anyone an excuse to abuse you - but neither will it help you form and maintain a healthy relationship with anyone. Rather than be abusive, the next guy may just decide to walk away, and he may be a guy worth keeping.

[lizzy22]

You all helped me pull through it, and I made it through the night without contacting him, and I feel much better. Yes!

 

Well, when I said annoying, I meant Im human, and I am ultimatley a different person than my ex, thereforeeee presenting conflict sometimes that instead of being handled like a loving human, my ex would yell and scream.

 

He was so different from me in many ways, and I could make a list of things he did to annoy me, but I didn't let them bother me, and if they were serious, I would calmly talk to him.

 

The things he found to be so annoying were things like leaving paper towels around, sometimes leaving my stuff out, etc. I was NEVER mean, cruel or angry, but he was annoyed at EVERYTHING.

 

Anyways, you guys are awesome, and I can tell you that it is getting easier with NC. You kinda see how much the other person is not worth getting worked up over.

 

I guess I just was having a sad moment because I wasn't busy for an hour. =)

[catgirl82]

lizzy

dont start blaming yourself and calling yourself annoying- he probably manipulated you into thinking that everything you did was wrong. so what if you left a paper towel lying around!!?? would you care if someone did that? im sure you wouldnt!

 

youre doing so well! you probably were just having a low point when you wanted to contact him but ive learned that with breakups, the sadness comes in waves, its so weird. my worst times are always around noon, and then maybe around dinnertime.

 

arent you glad you didnt contact him?

 

just keep staying busy and it'll get easier and easier. one thing that helps me feel better after a breakup is to put on nice outfits, put on some makeup, do my hair, and walk around where there are lots of people. i live in a city so its pretty easy to do, but you can go to a mall, a supermarket anything. also spend as much time as possible hanging out with friends/family or talkiing on the phone. it sort of helps you realize that there is a world out there and sort of puts things in perspective.

 

look at the big picture, this is YOUR LIFE! this guy was just a part of it. the whole world lies ahead of you