well, its over, and i feel so sad, need words of encouragement

[catgirl82]

the guy i was seeing broke up with me tonight- basically he said he wasnt ready to get into a serious, committed relationship

 

we had a fabulous month and this weekend things kind of fell apart (read my other posts if youre curious)

 

i know a month doesnt seem like a long time, but it was one of those really intense, fast paced months where you think things are headed somewhere

 

the conversation was sooooooo awkward and short, which made me feel even worse.

 

i feel embarrassed and i dont want to have to go rehash all of this to my friends

 

i feel pathetic because i know im going to miss him and fantasize that he'll change his mind

 

i feel scared that im not going to be able to focus on my studies with this on my mind

 

i feel discouraged- i really liked this guy and made sure he treated me well at all times- and then this happens so suddenly. i dont want to date anymore, its way too painful

 

right now i miss him so much, and i dont know how to feel. im not angry and i dont want to be angry. but i know thinking about all the good stuff is going to make me so sad.

 

im in such a state of shock, ive never been dumped so abruptly. i want so badly for him to change his mind, i know its pathetic!!

 

the weirdest part is that last week he and i were all happy, snuggling, laughing, and now i'll probably never talk to him or see him again- it feels like someone died...

 

i know this is such a cliche subject, but i just really need some words of encouragement, how many times can one go through a breakup? this feels soooooooo HORRIBLE!!!! i dont even want to go to sleep b/c i dont want to wake up tomorrow and realize that this is not a bad dream

[keeponsmiling]

I know how you feel.. hey, PM me, do you have msn?

[keeponsmiling]

I will post anyway because i think i will have to go soon anyway. But yeah, i have experienced exactly the same thing only a few days ago.. (4 month relationship) and i am hurting so much and jesus, i am so confused. I also had that same 'happy cuddly bit' only just last week, i have no idea where his feelings suddenly disappeared to. All his mates are confused too. It's not fair is it? Maybe he was too scared to be commited? Some guys are like that and it sucks. They think they can have everything!

 

It takes time but you learn from each break up. You will have ups and downs and you will be so low you don't want to live and then every now and then you get a little feeling of happiness from someone or something. Gradually these happy times come more often and last for longer until one day the sadness doesn't come back.

[capricorn85]

Hey hun, I know exactly what you are going through. My ex of a yr and a half broke up with me about 3 months ago. He said that he no longer wanted to be in a commitment. I felt crushed and lost all hope, I went through moods of feeling so depressed that I wouldnt get out of bed for days and I felt so bitter. It was harder for me because me and him had sex after the break up. Do not make that mistake. Remember he broke up with you, he chose to walk out on you, you do not owe him anything. I KNOW it hurts hun, trust me. The best thing to do now is NC (not call). Do not speak to him at all. It may be hard to do at first, biut it helps! Also buy a JOURNAL and write down how you feel. Write letters to him in the journal but DO NOT send it to him.

 

You should not feel embarressed, a lot of people go through break ups. It is hard when you care for a person sooo much and they let you go right? You have all these emotions of confusion and pain and even resentment. But now it is time to concentrate on YOU. Focus on yourself and remember NC is the best thing to do! I made a very close friend through enotalone and he helped me through my toughest times. If you ever need help just PM me hun. I understand!!!

[angelika]

hey girl... i also know exactly how ya feel. that happened to me a lil over two years ago, and even though i was only with the guy for a month, it felt like so much longer, and it felt like my heart had been torn in two. it was real abrupt and weird and he didnt really give me a good reason behind it... prolly just the commitment thing. whatever. all i can say is that sometimes guys suck and life goes on..... and it has for me, even though i was depressed for a while, i met the love of my life not too much long after so trust me, you'll find someone better.

[SilverManic]

Also buy a JOURNAL and write down how you feel. Write letters to him in the journal but DO NOT send it to him.

 

I did something very simular to this when my ex of 9 months dumped me 2 years back? I wrote down everything I felt, what I wanted to do to myself (We won't go into that) what I wanted to do to him for hurting me so much. Basically everything that I was feeling. You can always burn it if you try to read it. I won't read that diary ever again, it's too painful even though I'm happy now. It really helps to get your thoughts out on papper.

 

Use these forums, talk to your friends if you can't you can always pm me or anyone else on the forum. Times like these are very difficult and they happen to us all. I can remember about 3 bad break ups from the past 5 years. But things do get better if you let them. Life is a preception only we can bring ourself out of the 'hole', 'void'.

 

Good Luck Hope you feel better and if you don't pm me.

~S.

[kellbell]

Hey CT,

 

So sorry to hear about your breakup. Hugs. I went through something similar, I dated a guy for a couple of weeks and for whatever reason, I feel HARD for him. And then out of the blue, he broke up with me, the day before my trip to Arizona! So it hurts, it's a blow, but in the end, he just wasn't the guy for me and this guy wasn't for you. You don't have to rehash things with your girlfriends if you don't want to, if they ask, just say things didn't work out. Try to focus on other things, like school, friends, going out, working out. The pain will go away with time. Take care and hope you feel better real soon.

[catgirl82]

hey guys

it was really nice waking up to all of your words of encouragement this morning.

 

im feeling a little better right now- ie im not hysterically crying, just sort of confused, depressed, and not sure waht to think

 

i wrote him an email last night saying that i felt weird about the awkward conversation we had and that i just wanted to say it was nice knowing you, i understand your decision, good luck with everything etc. dont worr i kept it very short, non emotional, i didnt say anything mean, pushy, pathetic, etc. not sure if he'll write back but i guess i dont really care either way. writing the email helped me get a little more closure than that stupid conversation we had.

 

i just feel so confused!! for the past month, ive thought about him so much and thats just where my mind tends to drift now. i wish i could just cut this out of my mind but i know its going to take up most most of my thoughts and bring me down

 

getting on this website really helps me, and i sincerely appreciate all of your support