How do you stop having feelings for someone?

[ShySoul]

Aw, it's ok to be sad and cry occasionally. And its ok to be confused. But keep smiling. It does get better. Can you find a new hobby to occupy some time so your thinking of him less? Or a reward system. If you can go a certain length of time without feeling like being with him, you can treat yourself to something. It may take a long time, but I promise, you'll get through.

[Laura Ashley]

hey,

 

thanks for listening to me, it's awsome to know I can talk to people about it. Would it be weird when I leave work in May, to ask David* if we still could be friends? I mean would it be weird to be friends outside of work?

 

I just thought I'd ask. I feel really close to him and I don't ever want to lose him as a friend.

[unicornq]

Laura, I have the same question as you do. The only difference is that my class will end this week .

 

I've been giving it a bit of deep thought. Before deciding whether to ask that "can we still be friends?" question. One very critical question is: will it cause you more heartache if you stay friends with your crush?

 

My second concern is... well, true friends will never need to ask question like that. Reflecting on my past experience of keeping ex-colleague as friends, it's just natural to stay in touch even after I left work...

 

Sorry, I sound a bit confusing here...

 

Well, in your case, May is still quite far away. I'd suggest you see how things go between now and May. When May comes, if you feel like asking that question, why not?

[Laura Ashley]

well he is my colleague but i'd feel akward asking considering I'm younger than him, I mean he's a teacher and I'm a student working part time. Asking him to still be a friend might make him nervous ... he might think I'm trying something on.

 

I thought if I became friends outside the work environment, I could still have hope or the more I learnt about him the more I probably go off him but yet still have him as a friend.

 

I dunno .. I just feel so confused about things .. he has a girlfriend and I'm not trying to make a move or flirt I'm just hoping nothing wrong with that.

[ShySoul]

A lot of people stay in touch with old teachers, especially once you get through college. They can take on a mentor role and help you out down the road. It can also be flattering to be the teacher and hear about how someone you taught is doing well and how you have made an impact on their life.

 

You might have said this before, but how old is he? Is he young enough so that it wouldn't seem inappropriate? Or is he really older?

 

There is nothing wrong with being his friend, as long as you aren't making any big moves on him which you are not. Also, don't use that as a way to cling onto the hope of being with him more. Just take it for what it is, a friendship.

[Laura Ashley]

he's about 28 ish .. im guessing here.

[LostInThought1]

everything your saying is almost like I wrote it myself..i'm also in love with one of my teachers, and i feel exactly the same as you. When Im with him i just feel so happy and whole and satisfied, but when Im not I just feel so miserable because I want so bad to talk to him or be around him. And more than that I dont just want to be around him, I want him to want to be around me. I can't stop thinking about him and Ive tried to make these feelings go away but nothing works. Hes almost like a drug, it feels so good just to think about him or talk to him or be around him, but when im not or when i think he doesn't care about me or something it makes me feel soo miserable that I can barely function. I dont know what to do, i just wish we could at least be friends. =(