Afraid

[TAFFY]

I'm not quite sure if this is where I should post this or not, but my 2nd counselling appointment is today at 2pm. I am going to counselling because of unresolved issues with child, domestic and sexual abuse as a child and then later on. I have great anxiety, suffer frequent anxiety attacks and occasional panic attacks, and depression. I know that counselling will help me, but I really am truly afraid to go. Between Thursday and Saturday, I only slept for 5 hours total in 48 hours, despite Lunesta, Ativan and Zoloft. I have not yet been asleep tonight. I have gotten very anxious about this over the weekend, and now I'm really scared. Does anyone have any advice for me? I really would appreciate it.

[ratherbesailing]

Hi Taffy -

 

Anxiety and depression are hard to live with because our minds see danger in places where there isn't any but it seems so real. I think you already know that there is nothing to fear in going to your session today, perhaps you could just keep repeating that to yourself.

 

If you like decaf coffee or tea bring one with you and focus on the smell and taste while you are on your way and waiting. Stay away from all caffeine at anytime of day or night. Caffeine is like a trigger for anxiety, especially if you aren't sleeping. If you have a walkman, listen to some classical music in the waiting room. Try to get there no more than 5 minutes early so you aren't sitting around for a long time waiting.

 

Make sure you are excersizing, that helps get the chemicals out of your body that the anxiety releases.

 

Good luck today.

[TAFFY]

Thank you, ratherbesailing. I appreciate your words, and will try to get through today. May I post back to let you and others know how I am doing after I get home from my appointment?

[CarnelianButterfly]

I have similar issues with sleep, I tried hot cocoa (sugar free) around bed time when taking my sleep aid. While in bed I listen to some lite jazz or classical and read very sedate books, nothing political or overly dramatic. Try to spend a hour before you want to go to bed just winding down. I know with lunesta it can hit like a train, so when you take it really start just focus on relaxation and calming yourself. Some personal time can be very enjoyable. Don't let yourself think about your day, just focus on peace and calm places that you've enjoyed. I like to think about being stretched out on a warm beach basking in the sun (its currently 7deg F where I am now) and listening to the waves. There are CDs that have wave and rain sounds that are nice too.

[mtastic]

Hi Taffy,

 

I was nervous when I started going to counciling as well, the thought of having to sit there and not only confront your problems but have to tell them to someone else can be very intimidating. Just remember that you're concilor is there to help you, and you'll get more comfortable with each visit. I've been going for over a year and a half now and i've found it to be very helpful.

 

Good luck, and let us know how everything goes,

mtastic

[Jeffe]

I'm echoing everyone else here, but good luck to you. Try to take your mind off of it somehow; listening to music or meditating are two ways. Please tell us how it goes!

[TAFFY]

It seems that I can't do anything right. I went to my counselling center, and was 10 minutes early. I went to the desk, and told them who I was and that I had a 2pm appointment with John, and the lady said, I don't think so, I think it's tomorrow, and anyway John isn't here on Mondays. So, I have to go back tomorroiw. I am not amused.

 

CARNELIANBUTTERFLY -- I took Ambien for a while and it worked fine. Then, my doctor switched me to Lunesta, and I've had 1 doseage increase, but it does not work as well for me as the Ambien did. Maybe I'm just not on a high enough dose. I take my meds at a certain time, and then wait for an hour or so, before even trying to lie down, but I cannot seem to sleep well at all.

 

MTASTIC -- I

[TAFFY]

It seems that I can't do anything right. I went to my counselling center, and was 10 minutes early. I went to the desk, and told them who I was and that I had a 2pm appointment with John, and the lady said, I don't think so, I think it's tomorrow, and anyway John isn't here on Mondays. So, I have to go back tomorroiw. I am not amused.

 

CARNELIANBUTTERFLY -- I took Ambien for a while and it worked fine. Then, my doctor switched me to Lunesta, and I've had 1 doseage increase, but it does not work as well for me as the Ambien did. Maybe I'm just not on a high enough dose. I take my meds at a certain time, and then wait for an hour or so, before even trying to lie down, but I cannot seem to sleep well at all.

 

MTASTIC -- I have had very bad past experiences with counsellors and psychiatrist. That's why I get so afraid when I have to go to a counsellor or a psychiatrist.

 

JEFFE -- I do listen to music, I am a singer and a musician myself, although it's been quite some time since I've played an instrument. Sometimes the music helps, and sometimes not. As for meditation, I don't know how to meditate. Sorry.

 

Thanks everyone for your replies.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I've tried both and for me Ambien worked best as well. I found Ambien was a more gentle on my system. Lunesta actually made me ill for several days. Have you discussed this with your doctor. Although I don't think Ambien is approved for long term use, my doc said she has had someone on it for about 2 years. I took it for 3 mnths (not taking anything for now). The best thing to do when you see your doc is to have an idea of what you want to talk about during the session, a game plan so to speak. Give them an idea of of what you want to discuss and your main focus or goals. Try to consider the things that are most important to you. This might be something you work out with the doc as well. Try to give yourself some structure, but don't be to rigid, allow your plans to change with your healing.

[TAFFY]

I beat the depression/GAD/panic disorder/PTSD once before, and I just can't understand why I can't do this on my own now. My family doctor prescribed the Zoloft and Ativan and Ambien, but then after she had increased the Zoloft so far, she told me that she was not comfortable at all with prescribing psych meds, and told me that I would have to see a psychiatrist. The counselling center I go to has a requirement that you have to see a counsellor first, and the counsellor decides if there is a need for the client to be evaluated by a psychiatrist. I don't see the psychiatrist until January. So, I'm pretty much stuck until then. The only redeeming factor about this is that so far my doctor has agreed to refill my Zoloft and Ativan and Lunesta until I do see the pdoc.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I don't know what your health care coverage is, but I would think about seeing a new doctor as well. Your doc should have had you see a pdoc before you went onto any considerable dosages of anti-depressants. From your posts you sound like this is an on going problem that should have been addressed more vigorously. I've been to a few docs and the best one I've seen actually listens to my problems and suggests solns and they are not always drugs. Depression is very difficult to deal with alone. I've spent many years dealing with mine, my recovery is no where near complete, but I've done so much better when I have someone to talk to. A sympathetic listener can be a release of alot of the anguish and pain, a confidential, bound by law, individual can be a very safe place to turn.

[ratherbesailing]

Taffy -

 

Good luck today. I wish I could say that I've never shown up on the wrong day for an appointment but I have.

[ShySoul]

TAFFY - Hope you are doing well and keep us informed on things. I know you can get through it and I'll be thinking about you.

[TAFFY]

Hello, again. I ended up having to reschedule my appointment again, because my friend who was going to take me got very sick during the night, and she just couldn't take me. That was no problem, I was able to reschedule. I think the new day and time will be better for me anyhow, because the appointment in on Dec. 15 and my mother's birthday would have been on December 16. I will keep you posted. Thanks for caring.