ahhh help

[Nkaleidoscopic]

this guy that barely knows me just professed his love to me .. i assured him theres no way he could love me b/c he doesn't know me. i feel dumb. he's a nice guy but i dont want to be with him (or anyone else for that matter) but guys never understand that sometimes it really isnt them, its me!

 

i want to act normal if i see him again, i hate to be mean. ahh this feels so lame. what else do i say to him??

[Indirect]

Try to be friendly but not flirtatious. You don't feel like to be with him, then you shouldn't. Let him know you are still "illegal" in most states.

[emma34]

This is a common case of "boys can be so dum" lol...I don't really mean that, but its one of those things girls say when boys act silly like this. I mean, you've done the right thing so far. Reastically theres not much more you can say - if he persists, becomes irritating, theres a chance you might have to use some of the dreadful TOUGH LOVE. Tell him your not interested in a relationship and that your flattered by his "profession". Say, "lets be friends," or something...and basically, that the ball is in your court, and that if he "loves" you or whatever he can respect the fact that you are not ready for that kind of thing, or are not interseted in that kind of thing or whatever. You sound like a nice person, so you'll probably do the right thing, but don't be afraid to go a little beyond that if hes bothering you or losing respect for himself.

[Nkaleidoscopic]

Try to be friendly but not flirtatious. You don't feel like to be with him, then you shouldn't. Let him know you are still "illegal" in most states. think hes half a year younger than me actually.

 

i will still feel weird around him & it sucks because we hang out with the same group of friends. ill try to figure out some way around this. i really hate this!

 

how are you supposed to except something good to happen when you just tell someone you hardly know "i looooove you"

 

i feel so dumb.

[RayKay]

I think you are just going to have to be polite, but firm:

 

"I am flattered that you feel that way, but I am not interested in you romantically/in that way and cannot return the feeling".

 

If he continues to profess his "love" for you, remind him you are not interested and you also ask him to stop telling you as it is making you uncomfortable.

 

Sure, he will probably be hurt, but he'll get over it fairly soon as long as you are considerate of his feelings, but also firm and do not lead him on. It will be more wounded pride then an actual broken heart, if he does not even know you....

[annie24]

Ditto to what RayKay said!

 

And don't feel dumb sweetie! You're not the one that professed your undying love to a virtual stranger!

 

Like RayKay said, be firm but polite. I'm sure by the end of the week, he'll be in love with another girl

[Dating Coach]

Wow this guy is really naive. He doesn't know you but he is "in love" and even tells you this? Oh man! Pathetic...

 

There is one thing that you did wrong. You can't give this guy a half arsed rejection like, "I'm not interested in dating anyone right now..." even if it's true. Why? Because he is still holding onto hope that the only problem is that you don't want to date him or anyone else at this time... but maybe later. So he will continue to try and continue to hope. You should do as the other posters suggested. Tell him straight out that you are not interested in *him*, and that you never will be. Stop this now before he gets so attached that it creates problems...

[Nkaleidoscopic]

I thought about telling him i wasntinterested in dating, but what i actually did tell him is that its impossible for him to love me and that i was kinda busy.

[Dating Coach]

I thought about telling him i wasntinterested in dating, but what i actually did tell him is that its impossible for him to love me and that i was kinda busy.

 

If you want him to give up and move on then your answer isn't sufficient. He is going to keep crushing on you and is waiting for you to be less "busy" so he can ask you out again. I guess you will have to deal with him again at that time.

[annie24]

I thought about telling him i wasntinterested in dating, but what i actually did tell him is that its impossible for him to love me and that i was kinda busy.

 

Ditto to what Ddogg said. And what if he's talking to some guy who also has a crush on you? Guy #2 will say, "I think Nkaleidoscopic is cute. I think I'd like to ask her out." Guy #1 will say, "Oh no. I tried. She's not interested in dating anyone."

 

You don't want to be scaring off guys you may really like and want to date because guy #1 is telling everyone you rejected him because you're no interested in dating.

 

That is why polite, firm, and direct is best. Something like, "I just don't feel any romantic chemistry between us. But, you have many great qualities and I'm sure that there are 50 girls that would love to be with you." I said something similar to a man once, and he really liked it. He agreed wholeheartedly, and left me alone forever!

[ShySoul]

Honesty is the best policy. Say you are not interested in him and that you don't know each other well enough to be thinking about that. If he keeps it up, just ignore his advances. Nkaleidoscopic, you posted nothing about him continually hounding you to go out, so there is a good chance you are worrying about nothing. Just be polite and friendly. If he keeps pushing it, then be firm. But if you just go on like nothing happened and stay friends, things will get back to normal. Oh, and don't feel dumb about it.

 

I also believe it is a little harsh to be looking down on this guy. Let's not forget that he is only 15, with raging hormones. It is entirely possible that he developed a crush, as we all do, and mistook those feelings as love, as many of us undoubtedly have done. And he was brave enough to tell a girl how he felt. Yes, it isn't love. But it also isn't grounds to call the guy pathetic.