insulting?

[Caterina]

I don't know about you, but the topic of attractiveness came up on this forum. Basically it seems to be a pretty general consensus that guys will more often approach someone that they are less attracted to because they think that they have more of a chance with that person. How many of the women find this idea insulting? Its as if every guy who was ever interested in you was really just doing the numbers and it had little to do with who you were/are.

[melrich]

Its as if every guy who was ever interested in you was really just doing the numbers and it had little to do with who you were/are.

 

Yeah...exactly, that is the logical thing to read into that empirically robust consensus.

[annie24]

I was having this discussion with some friends a few days ago, but our topic was slightly different. My hypothesis: If a man walks into a coffee shop or bar, and decides that that night he'd like to go up to a woman, or ask a woman out, he won't necessarily go for the most gorgeous girl, but the one that he thinks will be the most receptive to his advances.

 

Pretend you are the man in this example. You walk into a coffee shop. There is one very very hot woman, designer clothes, but she has a frown on her face, looks angry. But, lookswise, she's a 10 out of 10. However, you get the sense that if you were to walk up to her, she would shoot you down in a second. Another girl isn't quite as pretty, but she's, say, a 7 or an 8. However, she's smiling and seems to be nice and approachable. She's reading an interesting book, and she seems like she might be receptive to your advances.

 

That's what I think it's about.... receptivity.

[DN]

I agree with Annie on this one. Most guys are quite nervous about being rejected and are going to approach the woman they feel is most likely to welcome them. It's not necessarily about looks - attraction can be about if you feel someone is attracted to you. As Annie says - some women seem more receptive than others.

[Echo]

Hmmmmmm Good question Caterina.

 

I wouldn't say I'm "insulted"..but it makes me question how they perceive me. It's kind of funny...because I am white..and black guys are attracted to me ..I think it's because I have "junk in the trunk" haha...but I try not to put too much into it. I know I am attractive in many ways...I'm what I'd consider ABOVE average. ..but I have a great personality and sense of humor, so you know what? That will last ten times longer than beauty ever will...so...pfffttttttt..lol

[melrich]

If a man walks into a coffee shop or bar, and decides that that night he'd like to go up to a woman, or ask a woman out, he won't necessarily go for the most gorgeous girl, but the one that he thinks will be the most receptive to his advances.

 

OK, I have been out of the dating game for a long time but are there really still men who go into a bar or whatever, scope out all the women there and select targets?

 

What I remember it was more go into a bar (for example), have a few drinks and see who you ended up talking to through circumstance.

[melrich]

"junk in the trunk"

 

What's that mean?

[annie24]

What's that mean?

 

LOL. A very nicely shaped, full butt!

[annie24]

OK, I have been out of the dating game for a long time but are there really still men who go into a bar or whatever, scope out all the women there and select targets?

 

What I remember it was more go into a bar (for example), have a few drinks and see who you ended up talking to through circumstance.

 

Ah, well, not being a man, I have no idea. I was more trying to illustrate that given the choice between a gorgeous stuck up looking woman, and a nice looking woman who looks approachable, most men (unless they have cojones grandes) will go up to the more approachable looking woman.

[Echo]

Hahhaa..it Means...damn You Have A Biiig Butt!!!! Lol

[traz]

Men can't win with women...women say they want to be wanted for whats inside, not their looks. So, a man sees that a woman is approachable, nice, receptive, which is a reflection of her personality and not of her physical features. He approaches her...however now it is insulting, because she's obviously not beautiful, the fact that he approached her proves that.

 

Men lose

[melrich]

I was more trying to illustrate that given the choice between a gorgeous stuck up looking woman, and a nice looking woman who looks approachable, most men (unless they have cojones grandes) will go up to the more approachable looking woman.

 

Yeah I think that is the point, approachability. I don't think it has anything to do with looks. If someone looks friendly or responds in a friendly way a guy (or girl) is more likely to try and strike something up.

 

The surest way not get any interest from the opposite sex is that aloof "model" look. You know the one, dead blank expression. Doesn't matter whether you look like a hatful or a super model.

 

Hahhaa..it Means...damn You Have A Biiig Butt!!!! Lol

 

Oh right...LOL....

[Echo]

You know what burns MY butt about women? Is they say they HATE when guys stare at their chest and NOT their face...then they go out and get HUGE BOOB implants and wear the lowest, cleavage showing top there is..then have the nerve to act offended that the guy isn't noticing her personality!!!! DUH!!! Sorry ladies with breast implants....just an observation!!

[Dating Coach]

You know what burns MY butt about women? Is they say they HATE when guys stare at their chest and NOT their face...then they go out and get HUGE BOOB implants and wear the lowest, cleavage showing top there is..then have the nerve to act offended that the guy isn't noticing her personality!!!! DUH!!! Sorry ladies with breast implants....just an observation!!

 

You can have self control. If a girl does this it is impolite to stare at their chest when you are talking to them, regardless of how hot they are. I am not complaining about the way they dress because I like it when girls dress sexy. Not sleezy, but sexy. I also have the control to not stare at a woman's chest in a conversation. That doesn't mean I don't notice, just that I am not going to be a blatant obvious observer. Any guy with a healthy level of testosterone is going to want to look, but you still have to maintain a respectful attitude.