Why does not matter!

[ocrob]

Isn't it interesting how we all ask why? It should not matter, but it does to the one broken up with. I think it is an ego thing. My ex and I gave it a shot after our break up and then did the bestfriend thing. Once she started dating, it became hard on me. We would talk every day and still had plans quite a bit. While she was dating, I would ask for plans and she would tell me she did not know what her plans would be. A few weeks ago I asked her for plans and decided to let it rest. She got back to me on thursday and asked to see me on a saturday. We had a great time and then on tuesday I asked to see her and she could get back to me on thursday. I was pretty close to doing the NC thing and figured she would get back to me or not. She e-mailed me friday and said she forgot to get back to me and was sorry and was really nice and said maybe we could do dinner on saturday depending if we were both in the mood. I let it rest and I did not contact her. We went the entire weekend with out talking and then on tuesday she sent me an e-mail asking for my cell # because she lost her phone and got a new one. I said I was sorry she lost her phone and gave her my number. We have not talked since. It is so weird because we have been bestfriends and I am just realizing that I am not making the effort anymore. I know why I am not contacting her, but wonder why she has not made the effort to contact me. It does not matter, but that is my point. I care! The mind is so much more logical than the heart. This is someone I talk to everyday and she is not even wondering why I am not contacting her? I know it does not matter, but it does to me. We are supposed to go to my Christmas party in two weeks and I will not contact her unless she does contact me. I personally think it is a control thing and she is waiting for me to break, which I will not. I am sure she will contact me just to keep me in her life. Although, we don't admit this, it is a game. I am expecting that we will hang out one more time and then I will say goodbye. I am prepared to never talk to her or see her again, but you know I am subconsciously hoping she wants to see me. My point is how lame we can be and I am a good example of that. I wish my heart could be as logical as my brain. : ) It seems I still have pain and get depressed, but also see the facts. I just want to know why she is not contacting me? That is the problem because the why does not matter. I am not stupid and I am so logical. But, the point of this post is to show how we need closure and how we need a reason. If she does not contact me, we will never talk again. I know she will and that is what I am trying to understand. There is no explanation and even if there is, it really does not matter. My point is that it is over and I should not care, but I do. I guess it is human nature. I am so in love with this woman and have decided that I am worse off being with her anyway. Just trying to make a point at my expense. It does not matter why, just what. She has not contacted me and it does not matter why.

 

cya,

 

Robert

[melrich]

It is human nature to ask why. It is one of the things defines our higher consciousness, the desire to understand our surroundings, not just exist in them.

[venus777]

hmmm... you don't know when she lost the phone huh? yeah, we all want to know why and have closure; sometimes we don't get those answers...

[Derek]

It doesn't matter why.

 

If she was really into you, then one particular mistake, or one word you said or whatever issue occurred would not have been a deal breaker. She would have confronted you and you two could have worked it out.

 

But the reasons why will likely never be known, and now the "why" reasons could even be invented to attempt to rationalize irrational behaviour (head games) Don't analyze it any more. The best way to recover from a break up AND to get the dumper to possibly come back around is to live your life better than ever. Get out there.