Grrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

[Echo]

Hey all....

 

I have a question?

 

Would you tell an ex..that you're "glad" they're with someone else...even if you don't MEAN it? Or will you ACT happy that they are "moving on"..EVEN if you DON't mean it??? All in the name of being the "nice EX"????? Or to keep them in your life? How often does this happen??

[coooolsome]

Dont say you are glad. Just say something along the lines of "I hope everything works out for you". Then go straight to NC.

[Echo]

Hey Cool..thanks!! I WOULD tell my ex 'I hope thngs work out"..IF I knew or thought what what he was saying was true OR sincere..except...I am not sure. I told him him FIRST..I was seeing someone...so I think he may be just be saying it..lol...........But I suppose it doesn't matter...does it?...

[Shadows Light]

I once loved my ex with all my heart and soul. With everything I had. At one time... I thought we were good. And we used to tell each other that we loved each other so much that we'd want for the others happiness.

 

The ups and downs of marriage. The good times and the bad. And at the end.. going so far and so deep that there was NO WAY to pull up... or pull back. To much pain. To much hurt. I'd worked hard to try to save it. I wasn't happy... and he certainly could NOT have been very happy the way it was. Just existing. Because we'd become habit.. because we'd become chained to one another. So.. I let go.

 

What would I say to him... I'd say.. "I hope that you are happy.. I hope she can make you happy." and inside.. a part of me would be glad for him that he was happy and found what made him happy. And... inside, another part of me would "cry"... would cry for what had been lost or what I thought I'd had.

 

What is that old adage.. if you love something let it go... lol. So, let er go. If you love her or ever loved her.. you'd want for her happiness, even if that happiness wasn't with you.

[miracle29]

Saying and doing things that you don't mean out of spite will always come back to bite you in the butt. The best thing to do is be honest and if you feel that being honest would make you vulnerable, then simply be QUIET.

[Hawk]

Shadows - thank you for that - I think I am just about to be on the recieving end of knowing that she is with someone else - I will just take my lumps and let her know that I hope she is happy and that he can make her happy. No self-recriminations because I know that for I long time I made her ecstatic.

[Shadows Light]

I'm sorry Hawk. I've spent a great deal of time beating myself up over a failed relationship. The good times were good. The bad times were bad. And... sometimes, people grow appart, become strangers and its hurtful.

 

Taking the high road..is always the best. Out of respect for the love you once shared. And for your own piece of mind. Taking the high road is not always the easiet route.. or the one that comes most naturally. In the long run though.. I think you will have healed quicker and kept your self respect.

[Hawk]

I guess I want to be remembered as a fabulous guy that she spent 7 years with, not a guy that got a little crazy at the end - God knows though this is enough to put you over the edge.

[VeRiTaS]

I guess I want to be remembered as a fabulous guy that she spent 7 years with, not a guy that got a little crazy at the end - God knows though this is enough to put you over the edge.

 

The only thing you are going to be remembered as is the doormat that was so comfortable to wipe her feet on. You need to stop giving a damn how she remembers you. She is done with you and you know there is someone else. Now, get rid of her and start getting over her or you will pay dearly. Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If you continue to let this woman live with you, you are going to experience the ultimate in self-destruction......

 

7 YEARS! Couldn't she wait till she was out of your house to start sleeping with someone else? Gimme a break man..... Save yourself while you can.

[VeRiTaS]

Hey all....

 

I have a question?

 

Would you tell an ex..that you're "glad" they're with someone else...even if you don't MEAN it? Or will you ACT happy that they are "moving on"..EVEN if you DON't mean it??? All in the name of being the "nice EX"????? Or to keep them in your life? How often does this happen??

 

I have an answer!

 

Don't tell him anything! Why you are wasting your time thinking of what to tell an ex AFTER he has already found someone else is mind boggling to me.

 

Why do you want to keep him in your life? That is the question you should be asking yourself. Hmmm.. Let me guess... I know! Maybe if you are really nice and say lots of nice things while he is shagging the new gurl, then just maybe, he might come running back to you!!!

 

WRONG! Go ahead and tell him how "glad" you are that he is with someone else. Since you are planning on keeping him in your life, you might as well solidify your new relationship as friendS. Yeah, that's right. Not only does he have the benefit of a new girlfriend, but his now he has his ex in all her loving grace standing there by the sidelines rooting him on! WOW! This guy has just won the award for LOVER OF THE YEAR! He must be doing something right.

 

Now, how about you get some of your self respect and dignity back and keep all the well wishes for someone who really deserves them. It certainly isn't him.

[Echo]

yikes Veritas.....I get the sacrcasm, what I DON'T get is the bitterness.

 

Well for starters..I am NOT standing on the sidelines "rooting him on"..AND I have plenty of self respect. Wishing someone well..or happiness for them doesn't make me a doormat. I was simply asking how others react to hearing that an ex iswith someone else? I WILL be his "friend"...albeit probably NOT a constant in his life because I'm no longer with him. According to you, I should be full of hate and anger toward my ex because we are no longer together. If he did something to warrant that ..then yes I WOULD be. What would being angry or vindictive get me? I prefer to be happy ..not full of bitterness....which judging from your reply...you are. This is someone I cared deeply about, so forgive me if I don't share your viewpoint.

[alphonsefa]

Echo, though a little harsh, Veritas is right. I know you love this guy, but the longer you stay his friend, the longer you stay available, the longer he will use you; even if it's just keeping you as a backup plan. Be honest with yourself, you want more than his friendship. You want him to come back to you, else you wouldn't be in this forum. The longer you stay in contact with him, the more likely this won't happen. Let me rephrase that, it definitely won't happen. I've been in one of these relationships, had someone run back to me twice and then try for a third, but I wouldn't play her game anymore. I'll be honest, I don't wish the Ex the best, I hope she regrets what she did to our relationship the rest of her life. I have no remorse in wishing her pain and heartache, due to the simple fact that I won't be the one causing it. She made that decison herself, and it's something she'll have to come to peace with someday. My conscience is clear because I treated her and her daughter as well as they've ever been treated. What she does and who she does it with is no longer my concern, but I certainly don't wish her happiness.