Curious mixed signals, though I may already know.

[Bigbilly]

So, there is a girl in one of my classes that I've been getting more and more friendly with as the semester wears on. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out on a date, but I feel like I am getting mixed signals and it's making me unsure on how to proceed.

 

She's gotten friendlier as time goes on; her body language is very encouraging. We sit next to eachother, and when we talk she leans in very close, she always smiles, there's lots of eye contact, she has this habit of blinking repeatedly sometimes when she's talking about something exciting. She whispers little jokes or thoughts during class. We've been running into eachother more often before class too, in the library. We've sat together and chatted, eaten lunch together once at the student union.

 

What is giving me pause is when we aren't in class. Granted, I will admit that I need to actually go out on a date with this girl before I can really start to analyze how it's going. I tried asking her out last weekend, before I left town to spend the vacation with my parents, but she was snowboarding the whole weekend. Anyways though, we haven't spoken on the phone yet, but we've texted many times.

 

Thing is, if I text her, she will always answer. She's only ever texted me back one though, and I think that was a message she'd sent to several people at once (saying Happy Halloween). When we saw eachother last, it was chatting together when class was over. She said that we should hang out over the break, said she would give me a call when she'd figure out her class schedule for next semester (she suggested we should try and take a few classes together next semester).

 

A couple times now, she's said she would call about something. Usually for a specific reason, mind you, not to just chat. She never does, though. I've texted her, but she hasn't ever up and texted me out of the bue with something.

 

I just wonder, is she expecting me to do most of the work? Is she even really interested in anything beyond a "school buddy" thing? I know I outta just take the plunge and just call her up some time or try asking her out on a date again. I gotta say, she's very attractive, so maybe she's used to being persued more aggresively? I'm not sure what to think.

[kellbell]

Ok, you've got two options...

 

1. stop texting her and hanging around her and her every word and see what she does...or,

 

2. Ask her out. She is probably wondering why you have not asked her out yet. And since you guys have done pretty low-key things already, like hanging out after class, eating lunch together, etc, ask her to a movie or to dinner.

 

 

Either way, you are going be in limbo. There is no mixed signals at all here. This girl sounds very interested, ask her out already before it's too late. Good luck.

[Jut]

I agree with KellBell on this one( rare occasion )

 

If you keep on being a FRIEND and not ask her out sh ewil feel you lack confidence. Ask her out but not to a movie wherein you cant talk or a dinner where you are forced to talk. These things will come in time and doing them NOW wont help you progress much since you already have a good comfort level with her.

Ask her out to some activity that she likes, you like or both like. Show her a different side of you. Go kayaking, hiking etc and make sure you PLAN YOUR WORK and then WORK YOUR PLAN.

 

Good luck and keep us posted.

[kellbell]

Hey Jut, are you saying you never agree with me or you don't agree with others often in general?

[Jut]

Kellbell

Ill go with the first proposition of your questionable statement ;-) which again does not mean always...its just an observation i had that most of the times we have conflicting views by the law of happenstance. As for not agreeing with EVERYONE IN GENERAL i think i disagree with you.

 

OMG i just disagreed with you for both parts of your statement.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

definitely ask her out. Do it right now. Don't plan or overanalyize things anymore. You're only sycing yourself out and making it harder on yourself. Just do it.

 

I agree with everyone else here, she's into you, but if you wait much longer, that will quickly change. Trust me on this, as a former procrastinator with the fairer sex, I know. I have tons of female friends who although think I'm a great guy, just can't see themselves with me because "we're too good of friends to risk it".

[Dating Coach]

All of those things that you think are signs, are not. Girls will do all of those things, including returning your text right away even if she only is interested in being friends.

 

Why do you need to work up the courage to ask her out? Don't you think that the more time you waste the more difficult it will be? You aren't falling for her less and less, you are falling more and more. So the longer you wait the more difficult it will be, especially if she says "No" or gives you any number of excuses that really mean "no" no matter how valid they sound.

When you initially start liking a girl you need to ask her out and quit waiting for signs, because it not only increases your chances because you come accross as more confident, but it also hurts a lot less to be rejected by someone you just met then by someone you have been crushing on for months or years. You need to get on the ball and ask her out now.

[bsp_kjm]

excellent post