suggestive email? or am I being too sensitive. (Chocolate?

[sweet]

My ex, who now lives in another country, recently suggested we talk on the phone during his stay here. I said, great!. Then he emailed me that he would "pass on the hotel details" so that I could call him. He then forwarded me the welcome email his hotel had sent him which was a page long describing all the fun things guests can do in that area - local bars, restaurants, and culminating in the suggestion that guests come back to the hotel after a long romantic night out and request to have chocolate covered strawberries and champagne delivered to your room.

 

He and I had a really nice time when we were together, and the circumstances of the whole thing are too long to describe here. What I felt when I read this thing about his hotel was just pure anguish. It made me want him again 100%, and imagine being in his arms with the chocolate covered strawberries etc. (Instead, I had to change a diaper, do the laundry, and worry about my husband keeping his job ). I tried to keep that under wraps and not react that way, but it just sort of seeped out in my email back to him. Then when we did talk on the phone, it seemed like neither of us really knew what to say, and he just said, Well, you don't want to go back to the *past*, do you? And that he'd *changed*.

 

What was he trying to do, torture me? I am really mad now, and don't know whether to tell him, or just let it slide.

 

Or am I being neurotic about this? Maybe there was nothing suggestive about it. Maybe he didn't read it all the way through?

 

What do you all think, is it worth trying to clear the confusion up, or should I say to myself, This is a warning sign that there's enough spark left between us to stay away? Both of us are married with kids now, and love our partners.

[cookies]

I agree with SwingFox, in being careful of a heartbreak. Marriage should always take presedence over extramarriatal affairs, especially if both parties proclaim to be happy. If we invested this kind of energy and time into our marriages, there would be more bliss and happiness at home with our own spouses versus another's spouse.

 

The chocolate covered strawberries always sound nice, and if ur worried about ur husband keeping his job,..you can help him ease his mind by giving your OWN man something to look forward to when he returns home from a hard days work...a nice hott bubbly bath, candles lit, the baby bathed, fed and sound asleep, and u prepared a nice "picnic" including chocolate strawberries layd on the floor 4 ur man...give him a bath and a full body massage afterwards...

 

That will also help him gain confidence and motivation in maintaining his job as well...having a place 2 look forward to coming home to. But he must be nourished and appreciated, just as he is out there working to take care of his wife and child...

 

Theres no reason to fall for the temptation of another man offering these things to you, when if you are infact happy, you can introduce it into your own marriage..which may give ur husband that edge of becoming just as romantic.

 

good luck in ur marriage.

 

cookies

[sweet]

Yes, true. Actually I am really worried about my marriage. (15 yrs.) I do love my husband, but he is very difficult. He has a hard time adhering to family routines, and I always feel like the bad guy. My husband is absolutely wonderful with the kids as a playmate, but he can't set limits. For himself, too...drinks a little bit too much - just enough to mess up his sleep. Very attractive, very funny, very smart but very demanding, too. Always pushing himself about something. Hasn't been able to make time for friends and family. He says this will change when his job improves. But I don't know....besides that could be years....he is in a junior position and won't advance for a couple of years...I have to learn to knit in the meantime or something.... In every case he has a good "reason" why he can't spend time with his sister, brother, parents, aunt/uncle, friends from college, etc. I don't think it is healthy to be always stuck on the old crowd in your life, but not putting any effort into longstanding relationships doesn't seem good either. It scares me - like eventually I will be disposable too.

 

However I can see that flirting with my ex isn't going to help.

[sweet]

I forgot to say to the moderators, thank you for your thoughtful replies. The bottom line is, worry about marriage first, then other people. Very true. Essentially I fell for 2 charmers...hafta figure out some way to get through to hubby about serious side of life though.