Two weeks of NC, well sorta

[eimono]

Hi All,

 

Just wanted to remind myself, and anyone else who cares, an update.

 

Today marks two weeks and one day since I broke up with my ex. It's been really hard and seems like months. I've been doing NC and it's being going as well as can be expected. I did however, get a call from her on Wednesday. She wanted her coat back and I had to take it over to her.

 

I was so scared, I didn't know what was going to happen. I knew that a lot of my anger and passed and I was back in the maybe “if” stage again. I didn't trust myself and just didn't know what would happen if she said the words I really wanted to hear. Well as it turns out, I went over there. I knocked on the door and she answer. I handed her the coat and she said “oh, thank you.” I said “you're welcome” and then started to walk away and said “goodbye.” It was so very hard because all I wanted was her to say sorry and ... But I knew that would fix things. I knew that I was weak and didn't trust myself. So I made myself start to leave. Well she rolled her eyes with a mad look and slammed the door shut. No goodbye or anything.

 

It hurt, but in the end it was the best thing for me. I still think about her every day and wonder how she is doing. It's so easy to forget about all the bad times and just remember those good ones. To want that and think “maybe if” that things would work. But really, the more I look back, the more I see that I did that for so many months.

 

I just have to hope that someday I will find someone who is really good to me. That won't be abusive, verbally or physically, and will be able to love me as much as I love them. Can't said I feel that way now, but trying hard to make it there. Tomorrow is always a new day.

[bsp_kjm]

stay strong man, we're hurting with you...

[Echo]

Hey...hang in there. When you took her coat back, she showed her true colors. Who needs that?? Her reaction was unnecessary and very immature.

 

You did the classy thing...at least you can walk away knowing that. Don't give her the power she THINKS she has....Be strong with NC. Things WILL get better I promise. I recently had contact with an ex who said to NOT contact him again. Even though we are not back together ..I know doing NC enabled us to be at least on speaking terms again, which is all I wanted anyway. Hang in there..post here when you get that "urge" to break NC.Plenty of compassionate people here to help you through it.