I confronted him.....

[QTpie87]

So I really care about my bf a lot, I love him. but here's the thing, he's been weird like starting to treat me bad which my friends have also been noticing. It's making me fall out of love with him fast, so Last night when he started being like this I left and I wrote him this really long note (i can't usually talk to him in person about things that are upsetting me cause he gets defensive and wont listen, too hard headed) about how he's been acting and how I can't stand it anymore, and how im not going to let myself be put through it. I told him I wont dump him, i'll let him make the decision, I said If you will start to be more loving and stop being like this I'll stay with you but if it continues then I'm leaving you. I said it's your choice tell me what you want to do. I've seen him twice today and he's been nice but hasn't said anything about the note, it's like he's avoiding having to talk about it. What should I do. was I wrong to write him a note like that?

[shorty20]

well.... the note is a start. Since he won't initiate conversation about the note though, you need to. Just say something casual, like "so did you get to read my note yet?" if he just says yes and nothing else, say ".. and... what do u think?" don't just let it go because it is bound to come up again if you don't address it, and solve it now... be prepared to listen even if it's not what you want to hear though. good luck.

[Hope75]

I think the problem with this situation is that you wrote him a note in the first place instead of talking to him face to face. In a way you set yourself up for no response, because you gave him an easy out-- pretend the note never happened and it'll be just like before.

 

Part of a healthy relationship is being able to talk to your partner, including about things that bother or upset you. You don't have to attack him when you bring it up, just a simple, non confrontational, " I've been feeling really down about the way you've been treated me lately. It makes me feel bad about myself. I don't like to feel this way."

 

If he gets defensive and won't talk to you, it doesn't sound like he is mature enough to handle a relationship. But then-- if he was kind and loving and respectful, you wouldn't need to be having this conversation in the first place.

[QTpie87]

eh I broke up with him. I talked to him and was like so did you get my note and he's all yeah but I wont read it and I was like why and he's all cause it's on tinkerbell paper, I hate tinkerbell. So I told him what it said and said if you don't stop treating me this way I don't want to continue dating you, He didn't seem that hurt about it, long story short, we're done. still not sure if this is gonna be a or a .

[arwen]

My guess is a

 

You stood up for yourself, and didn't let him treat you like the way he did. Good for you.

 

Ilse.

[Lyrren]

Agreeing with Ilse on this - it sounds like it'll be a bit weird for a while but you'll look back in years to come and think "Thank God I got outta that one" (or similar, feel free to use deity/deities of your choosing)

[Hope75]

I also agree with Ilse.

 

It may hurt at first, but you were right to let him know straight out that you were not willing to accept poor treatment-- no matter how much you liked him.

 

You looked out for yourself, and if we don't, who will?

 

Well done!

 

You know you can always post here when you need breakup support.