Mysterious Male Behavior

[CluelessInFla]

I am always curious to find out why people do the things they do and this past year I have had a whole slew of dating situations where I have been left perplexed. But anyway...

 

So I was casually dating my neighbor for about a month and a half. Everything was great at the beginning but a few weeks ago he got a big project at work and at about the same time his interest in me seemed to have dwindled. Well, I don't know if it did or not but he just didn't have the energy for work AND me.... But anyway, he got back from a weekend trip last week but he didn't call me and I saw him on my way out to dinner with a friend on tuesday. He was on the phone so I just said hi, so he put the phone down and invited me to dinner on wednesday since he was leaving on thursday for a 10 day trip to Asia. So on wednesday I get all dressed up and he doesn't call, so I called him and his phone was off. He left the next day I am assuming, but he never called that night or the next morning. nothing.

 

What I don't understand is why he would invite me to dinner and then stand me up. My guess is that he didn't have the balls to tell me that he didn't want to see me anymore... but then why even invite me to dinner? I am getting over him since he's so far away and we only went out for a month and a half... but I really liked him and I still think he's a good guy but just wish he could have been more up front.

 

Anyone have any ideas on what happened? Done something similar in the past or had it done to you?

[WyseOne]

I don't think anyone can give you an answer to that. We do know he stood you up and left without an explanation, is that someone you want to be with? is that someone you would even consider a friend?

[Dating Coach]

First of all, people who have a high interest level make themselves available. Second, I hope you won't be losing sleep over someone that can be so disrespectful to you as to set up a date and never even call to cancel. You obviously weren't that important to him if he didn't even bother to call and cancel. He just let you get ready and wait... for nothing. What an *CENSORED**CENSORED**CENSORED* IMO. Forget the loser.

[chai714]

How does him standing you up, leaving the country and not calling you make him a good guy?

 

Please evaluate your past relationships and what makes a good man, a good man. A real man wouldn't do something like that, a coward would. Understand that what he pulled on you isn't "mysterious male behavior" it's his cowardly behavior. Realize that good men aren't like this. Drop him and put him on ignore. And don't ever call a man who exhibits that behavior "a good guy."

[CluelessInFla]

You guys are right. I guess what I should have said is that he is generally a good guy who did a rotten thing. Or maybe not even that. He just needs to grow up. I guess I just don't understand why people can't speak up about what they're feeling. I have had to tell guys in the past that I just was not interested in them, and though I am sure it might have stung, it was probably better than just not showing up one day. I just don't understand why you would set up a situation where you know you're going to hurt someone.

 

Thank you though for saying what I didn't want to listen to but need to.

[Dating Coach]

I guess I just don't understand why people can't speak up about what they're feeling.

 

They don't want no drama. No no drama. No no no no drama.

[Jadtt]

I agree with everyone else.

 

I'm a busy person, and during my busiest time of year I work anywhere between 70-90 hours per week, depending on the week.

 

Even when I am THIS busy (which is really freakin' busy) I make time for the people in my life I care about...period. I will not let work or anything else get in the way.

 

If this guy was really that interested, he would do the same....period.

 

Good guy?

 

No....no guy who stands you up is good. He is a cowardly S.O.B. actually, who doesn't know how to respect people.

[PocoDiablo]

He may be a good guy, but he is no gentleman. A gentleman will provide the spontenaeity he did, but won't stand you up.

 

He is probably afraid to tell you he met someone new, or is too tired to get it up. Either way, he's being dishonest with you, and that is unforgivable in my book.

 

Learn and move on.

[Venturer]

This happened to me a few times - my dates vanishing for no reason - no explanation, no text message, no email, no nothing. so I can relate to how you feel about this.

 

What this guy did is inexusable. Think of it this way - do you really want to be with a guy who is not honest and upfront with you? ... Didn't think so. So think positive and be happy you didn't waste any more time with him.

[CluelessInFla]

I am not in as bad a shape as I thought I would be which just shows me that I didn't like him quite as much as I thought I did... I just liked his companionship. I mean he was really sweet at the beginning and affectionate. Its just I hate feeling like the rug was pulled out from under me. I mean this wasn't a guy I went out on just a few dates with... we saw each other pretty frequently. Oh well... I have a date this weekend anyway, its just good to figure out what went wrong so that it doesn't happen again ya know? I wish there were clear cut signs. He seemed like a nice, dependable guy...