Short and Skinny Vs. Tall and Average

[SoMuchLove]

Hello everyone!

 

I was just wondering why do girls seem to have a preferance of tall guys over short guys?

 

I understand that being tall can be a standard, but at the same time it can be just a tad shallow. I say this because most of the girls I know and have asked this question to say that they feel comfort and safety in a guy who is tall and fit instead of short and skinny. The way I see it, it's just the feeling of having protection just because of physical appearance. However, when the time comes for the guy to display his strength, that doesn't mean he will be able to come through...he just has the look.

 

I'm very confident, assertive, and aggressive...but i'm 5'3 and skinny. The thing is, out of having those qualities, can't a girl find comfort and safety in me because of that? Why do girls seem to prefer to have someone with the physical attributes of comfort instead of a person who is strong menatlly and very confident in his abilities? Couldn't she find comfort in that?

 

I'm not saying the tall guy doesn't have confidence. If anything if the tall average sized guy can confident and have the muscle as a plus. I'm also not trying to imply that every women wants a man who can throw a punch. I'm just curious as to why taller and average instead of same height or a little less and skinny?

 

BTW that's also trying not to include the fact that muscles or average are sexually attracting to women.

[heloladies21]

Dude, physical characteristics are not nearly as important to women as they are to men. Good looks and height and muscles will get you the interview, but your personality will get you and help you keep the job.

[Blue Skittles]

For me, it is all about personality. Right now I am attracted to a short guy, probably about 5'5", shorter than I am, because he's got such a great personality. I find him very attractive. There is another guy I could totally have, he is tall, very good looking, and a hot body, but, his personality, well, its good, he's a nice guy, but all he wants is sex. So I turned him down. I give all guys an equal chance, but they have to show interest in me too, or ask me out or something, and I will give them a chance. I think if there is a girl you are interested in, if she's single, just get to know her, ask her out, then if she likes your personality she will more than likely take it further.

[Hasie]

YES

 

Everyone has the right idea! helolaides has summed it bang on. I think even if looks did count, they're not the ones that's gonna last, the one's which show are the different ones and the ones with great personalities. This echoes what blue skittles has to say too.

 

I'm a short guy, I say this because i'm considered to be "short" most the time, perhaps there could be genetics involved. SoMuchLove, you got it all messed up man, I know exactly how you feel, I've been short all my life a year or two I didn't grow and one year I grew 10cm. Basically, yes us being short puts us at a disadvantage, it really does, but it DOES NOT prevent us from doing anything.

 

I'm not sure where you're looking at with height. But napoleon was short and if you're talking about women... Tom Cruise is pretty short too. That guy from spin city and back to the future - Michael J Fox, that's it, he's short.

 

If anything, being short does not prevent us from anything, it may at times be an disadvantage but our advantage is that being short, we are more determined because we need to stand out or be different and if we can't work on our looks (because it ain't important anyway) then we can achieve a lot better personality. Do not worry about your looks. I want to refer you to this thread for what i mean by that:

 

 

I am not a perfect guy, I am short, not terribly unattractive, I don't have too much of a build anymore (because my gf actually she she'd find me a lot more attractive without it) and I believe her, if she can say to me I'm more attractive than some other physically attractive guy, then I'll take her word. Back in high school, everyone fought over her, yes I did too. She was one of the most popular girls around. Turns out she ended up going with some other guy a for a month - that proved to be a mistake as she stated and she ended up choosing me instead... and that's the way it's been since.

 

I'm sure other short guys have achieved many impressive things too and if it's just ladies you're worried about, I'd like the short guys to stand up and tell you all about it. In fact, I could start a thread for you right now to see.

 

It's all about how you see things and the way you act. People can be attracted to you w/o looks for sure...work on your personality man! Even blue skittle is showing you a point.

 

Hasie

[Hasie]

Ok, i've posted it up. For those interested in the developments of this interesting experiment, click here:

 

Lol this better not backfire on me!

 

Hasie

[RayKay]

I have dated men shorter then me, and dated men taller then me. I have dated men who were serious weightlifters, others whom were skinny, and others whom were athletic.

 

I prefer men whom are athletic - because I am also athletic and it's a lifestyle compatibility/health thing for me. However height has never mattered much to me...if anything I preferred men whom were no more then 5-6 inches or so taller, (I am 5'4") but they can be shorter though that has rarely happened where I meet men shorter (though I have dated some). However I met my boyfriend whom is 6'2" and generally what I would of said is "too tall" and he is perfect for me

 

It is funny, as actually it was him that had a requirement originally - he tended to not date women under 5'6", but then well, as a friend has told him, he got won over by a petite woman with a big heart and personality

 

For me it's not a comfort thing - I can take care of myself pretty well (I mountain bike, lift weights, run, have a background in wrestling...so can defend and stand up for myself pretty well...or run the hell out of there..lol) it's just when I met my partner, I fell for HIM as HIM as everything just clicked right, not because he was tall, dark and handsome (though turns out, he is those things too...).

 

If their personality and smile is big, it does not matter what height they are. Sure some women might have certain preferences for height, some may be rigid in those, but most I know give personality and character much bigger priority...and the better the personality and character, the more attractive the person is regardless of their height.

[Day_Walker]

I think if you want to generalize then you can say that women seem to like tall men but if the girl likes you then unless she is shallow she wont date you. Women like all kinds of guys just like men like all kinds of different women, dont get down about it.

[SoMuchLove]

Thanks everyone!

 

I read everything and have to say that I couldn't have been more wrong about what I've stated above. It came about simply because umm...I guess I'd be honest in saying...insecure?

 

I just didn't get it because a girl I was going to date told me she preferred taller guys. I have a great personality from what I've been told and that's part of the reason i got promoted at my last job(needed someone with a "Outgoing, happy-go-lucky, great sense of humor and leadership personality"). And not being conceited, I am very attractive to the point that people call me sexy desipte my size, their gender, and despite their age (women in their 30's and 40's). I guess personality can be sexy too. At any rate, you all can see why I posted that in such a manner. It's like I had it all but height and it really ticked me off(she liked our conversations and stated we have a connection). At the same time she's only one girl and I'm not letting her preferences imply that I hate tall guys and the women who love them. Nor did I mean to imply that personality doesn't count for anything...

 

I still do find this topic interesting and it why I'm going to check out the links above.

 

Thank you all for you insight!

[Hasie]

lol no probs, that's what we're here for!

 

Yeah insecurities suck hey... wait till you're in a relationship then you should be more careful with it, can cause all sorts of problems unless the pair is willing to deal with it.

 

Maybe she just said that coz she wasn't interested and needed an excuse?

 

Hasie

[CyberIslanddude]

I'm 5.6" tall and my short stature had always been an impediment for achieving poise and self-confidence. It was about two years ago that I met my wife and we almost instantly made connection. She is about half an inch shorter than me but I would always feel a little insecure whenever she wore sandals. This would make her look much taller than myself. Not that anything wrong with that but society collectively feeds us with some stereotypes and a guy shorter than a woman would always raise eyebrows. My wife (who back then was my girlfriend) was conscious of myself being a little uneasy. She started coaching me on improving my dress coordination and also suggested that I should try wearing those walktall shoes. Doing a little research myself I gathered some info on stretching exercises. Although it’s true that exercises will not make you grow taller but it definitely helped me improve my posture. We certainly have more height hidden behind our slouched back and shabby dressing than we ever realize. There are some very basic stretching exercises and vertical fashion techniques that together can make a noticeable improvement in your height. And lastly it’s all a matter of perception. It all boils down to how we perceive ourselves. A better height can add to our confidence, but again, it’s our mind that perhaps makes us insecure. Some short dudes possess endless energy that makes their presense much taller than their height.

[iwishiknew]

I have been turned down several times due to my height..I am also short and never had any success yet.

[saren]

I typically find myself attracted to tall, slender guys. I myself am a shorter, curvy (I hate to admit it, but stocky) girl. But you know what? I fell in love with a guy who was short and stocky, and kind of chubby. I never would have anticipated that. I fell for him because of his personality (or what he presented to ME as his personality) and he seemed so well-educated. BUT... At the end of the day, he didn't want me because I wasn't a skinny blonde girl.

 

So yeah. I think guys are more about the looks than the girls are.

[Kevin T]

So yeah. I think guys are more about the looks than the girls are.

 

That is generally true.

[GeneralLee]

To understand why women seem to do this, you have to understand the mental hardwiring common to almost all humans. As much as we'd like to deny it, we still have that primal programming in the backs of our minds suggesting to us what to look for in a mate. Women, atleast to some degree, are going to be attracted to a big, tall guy. A guy who looks like he can protect her from the world and bring home dinner, and the guys are going to be attracted to a curvy woman (read: I'm not saying fat, just not anorexic) who looks health and like she could provide offspring. We can't control it, and more or less don't realize we think this way. The only thing that separates us from animals in this respect is our capacity for love. This is what allows us to override these hardwired ideas and be attracted to someone who otherwise wouldn't be an ideal mate. Don't worry about it man, for every woman you find whos turned off by your height, there are two more out there who would be attracted to you because of it.

[Mandoro]

Well I guess I could be considered tall and average at 6'8 and 260lbs. I've never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever been on a single date. Im not too ugly, but Im no eye candy. I have a great personality and people who do befriend me don't regret it. My only problem would be I am a shy person. Don't get me wrong I have confidence, just not in my ability to communicate with others.

[SpeedingCars]

I feel like an outcast because I do not like tall guys! I like them to be either my height or one or two inches taller. Also, skinny guys really don't do it for me... but then again, I have some friends who looooveee the "stick-like" kinda guys. My ex... I LOVED his body! He wasn't muscular at all. He was short and a little on the chubby side, but I loved it because it made cuddling THAT much more... comfortable.

[iwishiknew]

I wish girls would accept me for my height but majority of them haven't

[SoMuchLove]

That's true we are at a dis-advantage, but since I started his thread, I learned we won't have it as "easy", but it's not something to be so down about. Seems all we can do is work more on being bold, and approaching more women than average in order to get any results... no matter how few the results may be. There are women out there who like us, we just have to work harder to find them

 

Just have to turn that negative energy you get from being turned down and use it as a fuel to ensure success in the future. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Don't let what doesn't kill you make you weaker.

[Caldus]

Hmmm ... I am 5' 7", skinny, yet very muscular for my size. 5' 7" seems to be considered somewhat short for a guy (from what I can tell). I've never really let it bother me except for a recent rejection I went through. She explicitly said that my height was an issue for her (and she is typically nowhere near considered a shallow person to me). So that kinda bothered me since I was really into her.

 

Every girl I have ever had success with was shorter than me. In fact, my ex is a very short girl. I've been on a date with a taller girl, but she was not into me at all. And I could understand that. What I have a hard time understanding is if she is much shorter than me and yet I am not tall enough for her. The recent girl I was with was maybe an inch shorter than me, so I guess I could maybe see why she didn't like my height.

 

The interview analogy someone made earlier was great. It's perfect for this situation. Yeah, us short guys probably won't get as much attention as we deserve initially, but if we go out and make the same effort as tall guys do, then surely enough we'll easily have as much success as long as we display confidence with what we do have.

[heloladies21]

Good for you Caldus, you're well on your way.

 

As for this:

She explicitly said that my height was an issue for her (and she is typically nowhere near considered a shallow person to me). So that kinda bothered me since I was really into her.

This is something called reverse rationalization. In essense it's a way to logically justify something which has no logical explanation. Think about it this way, how do you explain why you lose interest in someone? It just seems to happen sometimes, but some people feel the need to give some kind of explanation for it so they think up some excuse to back up their decision.

 

If she didn't like your height, then she wouldn't have slept with you repeatedly. It just wasn't a factor anymore if it ever was. So many times I've heard some chick give her description of the perfect guy and him being tall etc...and they turn right around and start dating some dude 5'6''.

[Nawari]

Well I'd hate to admit this...but I'm shallow...or I was...I used to be crazy about this guy typical tall dark and handsome (the works)...his smile blinded me...and well...in the end he played me...soo there's looks for ya!

Currently I'm engaged to a 5'4 guy! You seriously cannot not like this guy! he's thoughtful polite! dangerous when he wants to be...and so sexy (In my opinion anyways) that sometimes I catch myself staring!

 

I haven't had sex with him yet (kinda trying to behave) I felt it once against me and it was...fiiiiiiiine...nothing wrong with the man at all!

 

I suppose I've always been hit on by the tall bulky type and I won't lie to you I used to ♥ that type (Even though I'm a petite 5'2/125pounds)...I never really noticed shorter guys before.

to tell you the truth the first time we met I was kind of turned off by him at first because of his structure...yea! I know pretty lame! but when we started talking I couldn't help but think "How could I have been such an idiot! this guy is made for me!!" I still notice good looking guys since there was always a flirty bone in me...but for some reason I won't wander too far...when it comes down to it, I love him for what he is, what he looks like, and everything else...I used to be one of those girls who would sit in conversations sighing and moaning about how his chest could just burst, and my girls would catch me staring too long at a male model...but now I can't help but smile brightly when I see my guy in simple jeans and a t-shirt...there's life to you! that man made me a better person I believe...he's my hero...and I believe he would crush anyone away from me even if he has a smaller build than most...its what you feel for that person...not how he looks like...I know I'm babbling but I'm merely trying to prove a point. plus for me its a lot comfy-er to wear sporty flats instead of heels. (So don't give up guys I was one of those girls who would no way in hell dated a shorter guy...and now I'm marrying one! It all comes down to personality...I know a lot of short men who are much more charming than taller guys...all you have to do is get yourself noticed!)

[Caldus]

Hey, my chest looks like it's going to burst out because I work out so much, so I guess I'm good on that part at least.

 

5' 7" isn't really that bad is it?

[ghost69]

anytime i've been approached or hit on a girl, they say they like my height and muscles. but those are the only girls i really end up talking to. the ones that like my appearance. i'm sure shorter guys only get talked to by girls that are into their appearance. everyone has a physical preference. unless ur blind i guess.