giving up the "V-card"

[starry_night]

A while back (I'd say 18 months), a friend that I liked and I had rather too good a time at an after-grad party - no sex, but much fooling around. Imagine how used and guilty I felt when he told me he was only interested in the physical. He asked to be "friends with benefits" but I told him straight up that unless we were seeing each other, nothing more could happen.

 

Months went by and, eventually, I got over the crush - mostly because I was so angry with him. But recently, he's taken to asking me over to "hang out", have phone sex, and even asked if I knew any one up for a threesom. If it were any one else, "no" would be the imidiate answer, but some times I find my self thinking about him. And, as poeple who are interested in me are few and far between, I've been wondering if giving up my virginity to him would really be that bad.

 

I certainly want sex, but from him? I'm not so sure. . .

Words of wisdom, any one?

[ghozt]

loseing your verginity is something you can never take back but regreat for the rest of your life think about what your doing befor you do it and ask your self deep down if its worth it to lose it to some one thats gonna get in on get off and get out, sounds like hit it and quit it his style so think about school life aftwerads if you do it with him. think about all the talk that might go around

[Meow18]

Just because he is the only one asking you for sex doesn't mean you won't have other opportunities.

 

This guy sounds like a shallow jerk. I would suggest not giving it up to him. You know he would only be using you. Do you think that if you have sex with him, he will suddenly want to have a real relationship with you? He won't.

 

I really suggest waiting. Especially when you aren't sure if you want to have sex with this guy. You will regret it. And if you felt used when you fooled around with him, you will feel even more used if you have sex with him.

 

He's not worth it.

[nikkers04]

I too say DON"T DO IT. The emotional level changes big time....Here I am a year and a half later still trying to get over the one I gave my v card to. Don't let him have the satisfaction of being your first....and its not fair to "the one" who was made to you. And overall its not fair to you...you will be so emotionally attached to this guy that doesn't want you.

 

Of course it isn't my choice but I choose other wise

good luck

[RayKay]

I would wait personally, until you find someone whom loves and respects you.

 

Some people do lose their virginity just to "lose it", but I really think that takes away from the experience.

 

Sex for the first time in itself is a new enough experience, that being with someone whom loves and respects you just makes it that much "easier" and more worthwhile.

 

There is that emotional and physical vulnerability that come along with it that you should not waste on someone whom does not care enough to be in a relationship with you (and no sex won't make a relationship).

 

Sex also brings into play issues of STI's and pregnancy (and no birth control or protection is 100% so it should be with someone whom you trust, and whom you can discuss what you would both do if something DID happen).

 

I don't know many people whom regret waiting, but I do know many whom regret doing it too soon, or with the wrong person.

[Day_Walker]

As long as you want to lose your virginity to someone its a much better experience. I think its important that you have feelings for the person otherwise the experience can get ugly.