Binge drinking isn't my thing but...

[sweetheart230]

I've just gotten back fron a night of heavy drinking (I'm fairly sober now), and I've realized that I meet really crappy people when I drink heavily (I had seven or eight shots, which is a lot for me cause I'm not big and didn't eat dinner).

 

I enjoy drinking in moderation, and when I'm ready to be involved with someone, I'd like them to be enjoy drinking socially in moderation as well. I want to stop drinking for now, cause there's no where to drink "in moderation" here but I'm scared that guys will think I'm a prude or uptight for not drinking.

 

I love drinking with my friends and going out and dancing, but I strongly dislike the people I meet when I drink. I don't want to go out as much, but I don't want to be seen as a prude or boring either...I'm just unsatisfied with the social life here. I just wanna meet nice people. I don't want to meet boring people who object to drinking, either, but I've been hanving out with some real jerks.

 

I wanna move on from that bad guy, but I'm not sure where to begin. Getting completely over him is a good start, and I've made so much progress on that. But I don't want to be seen as a goody two shoes who isn't any fun, and yet, binge drinking and partying with the football team is so unfulfilling and not fun at all.

[ravens_folly]

hi! I know how you feel. I hate binge drinking too and going to those parties and most of the people there are idiots who only know how to have fun when they are out drinking. Honestly the best way to find fun people who like to have fun other than going out and getting drunk all the time is to join clubs and do certain activites.

 

I do go out with my friends once and awhile and have some fun drinking and thats probably only like 3-4 times a year. I honestly find it boring and stupid most of the time, but as I said those 3-4 times a year I am just in the right mood.

 

I have lots of fun going to dog shows, teaching 4-H, training my dogs, going to dog agility (I do a lot of public shows).. and of course there are a lot of drunkeness at some of these late event get togehter with my friends, but its not the same as a bar scene. Most of the time I don't even drink I find it more fascinating to listen to these people go on and on... haha I can act silly enough they can't tell the difference anyway. Most of the people I hang out with are like 30- 40 anyways.

 

Just find some activities to do in your spare time.... sports, clubs, you name it. There is always something you will find that has a more positive meaning in your life and can be lots of fun!

[darkblue]

There are people at bars/clubs who are not out to get smashed, too.

 

Try drinking soft drinks in between alcoholic drinks, to reduce your alcohol intake.

 

It is possible to find a pleasant man in a bar, too. Who does not intend to be dragged home because he cannot find his feet.

[RayKay]

You are an adult, there is nothing forcing you to drink. If you don't want to drink, just say "I am not drinking tonight" or whatever else.

 

I chose not to drink for about five years between the ages of 18 (legal here then) and just before I turned 23 (I had been drinking before that occasionally). I was in a lot of drinking situations, was in the military and in university so had many opportunities, but just told people when they asked I did not drink. People sometimes might give you a tease, but you are a grownup and can make your own decisions!

 

After some events at 22, I decided life is too short and I will have beer, or wine, occasionaly....not much into hard alchohol, but a glass of wine or a pint of beer with some friends or dinner now and then can be very enjoyable (and in moderation has some healthy benefits too!). But there are still plenty of occasions where I chooose NOT to drink. People are not BORING for not drinking, they just make a choice not to drink is all. If someone judges you for it, they are not very good friends.

 

There are also plenty of people at clubs and such that are not there to get smashed...myself included. Go out, have fun, get involved in more other healthy activities where drinking even never comes up - working out, volunteering, taking a photography class, etc.

[sweetheart230]

Well social life is limited here. It's a small school. I still have a really full life, though, somehow.

 

I guess the problem is that I'm kind of known as the girl who is a lot of fun to hang out with and you'll always have a good time with, and this usually includes drinking. I don't suddenly want to be alone in my room on the weekends while my friends go out and party (my roommate studies friday and saturday nights...her friends don't drink, but they are very boring to hang out with). I could make new friends, but I love my friends. And its not the drinking I object to...its the surroundings in which we drink. One of my good friends was called a wh*re for no reason at all by two guys.

[quirkyturkey]

you are lucky because you already know what you want, and you know what kind of people you want to be with. you don't have to drop your old friends completely, just try and find some others who you can spend time with. this is eaiser said than done, but i have been there! when you get to age 21-23, people focus on going out to the bar, they forget that there are other things to do, but most everyone will come around and realize they have other interests, as they get older, they spend their money on other things (possibly due to new obligations or interests) unless they become disfunctional alcoholics, and then it's not about having fun anymore, but rather feeding into a sickness. you already know that you are not a goodie goodie. what i am hearing from what you say is that you are afraid that you will be alone if you don't hang out with these people, but that is not true. you have to look at yourself, and see what your social skills are, and then you will realize that you are able to make friends in any situation, let me ask you a question: when you switch jobs, or schools, or the town you are living in, you always find some friends, right? I am sure the answer is yes, well you just have to remind yourself that you are fun and people like you. then let that be your guide.

[sweetheart230]

But I don't have fun with people who don't drink. I know that sounds weird, but I don't have fun with them.

[quirkyturkey]

you can find people who drink socially and not to get drunk. you can have different friends for different things. I think you are generalizing all people who don't drink unfairly, by assuming they are boring. you must have some other interests besides drinking. my advice is take some time to do something you like, like a hobby, or find a hobby. drinking can be fun, but after a while, you'll realize that you're having the same night over and over again and that nobody is having any real conversation, and then you'll realize that people who binge drink all the time are the ones who are boring, because they have no depth to their personality....hopefully you'll figure it out...lol. good luck and have some fun.