back together on MY terms

[sibling295]

Well its the first weekend - him gone - me home

 

i didnt expect to hear from him - but he just called - it didnt seem like he was checking up on me - more to talk - and i am home.

 

Of course now i feel like going out... i was asleep , he woke me up .

 

I called my best friend - she is out at a resteraunt - i think i might go. I mean i am going.

 

its funny - i am seeing allot of new threads about ppl going out - dating others- making up partners - stuff like that . When i was going thru my ordeal i felt like the only one doing that. My feelings are that when he dumped me - even though i was heartbroken like crazy - it wasnt going to stop me seeing other men. I never made anyone up to make my ex jealous - i might have gone overboard and met like 5 guys , but it was all for the same reason. I had to get over him. In my mind he wasnt coming back. So out i went to feel good again.

 

 

anyway i felt everyone was against it. when my ex came back it took another 2 days for me to stop seeing other people . then i realized i had to stop and focus on us. But it was an ordeal - sometimes i have had to fake my confidence - but in the end i always came thru. I am not against anyone of these pppl going out- I say do it!!!!! You have to stop worring about your ex - and start living your own life. They ARE!!!

anyway i just seem to see it allot now on this forum. When i went thru my time , it all was an eye opener-----

 

thats all must eat now - write later

sib

[sibling295]

oh no = saw one of the guys i met while out this evening... it was random - he was there with friends - we hung out - maybe i do like him..... confused

 

.... here i go again....

[DN]

Wow, I'm very impressed. Your boyfriend's instincts about you are spot on, aren't they?

[selfi]

I Wish I Were In Your Shoes! Not Sitting At Home Drunk, Worrying About Wen My Guy Is Gonna Call Me Next! You Lucky Gal! Kudos!!

[TiredMan]

Wow, I'm very impressed. Your boyfriend's instincts about you are spot on, aren't they?

 

I agree. You notice how mad she gets because people (especially me) don't agree with her actions? It's one of those cases where someone posts their story because they want other people to tell them they are doing the right thing. When it doesn't happen, they get mad.

 

I still wish this guy would just find out and leave. He was honest with her. She doesn't care who she hurts. I feel so bad for her boyfriend. He is being hurt by someone who isn't showing a heart.

[RayKay]

oh no = saw one of the guys i met while out this evening... it was random - he was there with friends - we hung out - maybe i do like him..... confused

 

.... here i go again....

Maybe you should let your boyfriend go, if this is how you are feeling.

 

Under no circumstances should you cheat on him or explore your options while with him.

 

I feel bad for your boyfriend.

[sibling295]

i in no way cheated on my boyfriend (actually he is still my ex) i flirted with this guy - but i flirt with myself more! we were all with our friends there was no alone time. there is no need to even talk to him again. I am an attractive and vibrant woman. thats just the way it is. My ex is quite aware of this. although i will admit - i should not drink that 4rth glass of wine lol!!!!

anyway - my ex comes home tonight - i may not see him - this week is gonna be crazy at work - like 16 hours each day till Thursday. I hope he keeps up the nice words. When we were together - i found myself suffocating him. I was such his friggin puppy puppet. I just want him to shower me with affection now. I know it takes time though .... oh well off to the gym.

sib

[sibling295]

well ex called - he is still traveling home - he wont be in till late.

He asked me if i was going to my girlfriends tonight , i told him i wasnt sure yet. He seemed a little down. i am missing him tonight.

[sibling295]

He just sent a text message - ( i cant believe he knows how to do this?)

"will you warm my bed?"

 

Yeah i am excited - i replied "see you at home"

 

 

[TiredMan]

Like RayKay says, maybe you should let him go.

[ONE SXXY LADY]

Yikes...this thread has been interesting.

 

Sibling, you sound like a very outgoing, fun woman..who should be SINGLE by the sounds of it. What you want is your cake and to eat it too.

 

Pu the shoe on the other foot here..how would you feel if you knew this guy was seeing another chick..or several chicks behind your back? Would you be ok with it? Something tells me you would..because then it would justify your actions and your reasons for not forgiving your ex. It seems like you are waiting for him to screw up..so you can have the final say..or "put the screws to him". I think this is a very subconscience thing you're doing and you don't even realize it. A defense mechanism of sorts.

 

You know what happens when police officers interrogate a suspect who wants to confess a crime? They play reverse psychology..the suspect actually WANTS to confess but they are scared..but you know what? The truth sets you free....and when that suspect finally confesses..they sleep like babies.

 

I have a feeling if you confessed the truth to your bf..all this drama would disappear...and one thing is certain..so would he.

[sibling295]

hey enotaloner's -

Okay i am not here to win anyone's approval (obviously! Geez!) anyway this is just an account of my break up - recovery - exspression . I may not make the right choices - i may not be a puritan - but i am me. And you can either see it as a tool , or as simply put , what one chick is going thru.

All type's of ppl live and breathe in this world. You can either choose to learn from their mistakes or not.

I am NOT trying to have my cake and eat it too.HOW am I trying to do that? Because I went out with friends and ran into a guy I dated while I was broken up??? BIG DEAL!!! I am NOT calling anyone or carrying on with anyone.

But I am over trying to plead my case.

I am NOT cheating on my boyfriend.

I am NOT seeing anyone behind his back.

I am commited to our relationship . TRUST ME .

I did go out with my friends this weekend . BUT i did not plan on running into that guy. We spent a total of like 20 mins. hanging out . Amongst allot of other people. Yes , i found him attractive. But i believe that is a human trait. There is nothing wrong with admiring the opposite sex. I did nothing to engage a little tryst or affair. It was innocent .

I even told my ex last night that I ran into him , just in case he heard from friends. I explained everything. He was fine with it. I am not inviting any discussion regarding this.

People you must STOP PREACHING AND JUDGING. I dont know what else to even say so this will conclude my rant. AGAIN , I am not inviting any discussion regarding this.

anyway - So ex was totally great last night , He said he did allot of thinking this weekend. He asked what it was that i wanted most. I said you know , why did you leave me. He said because of the marriage thing. I said well that hasnt changed for me. Its what I want. He actually said he thinks he needs to calm down and give me more. He said "How about in 2 years"

I said " How about in 1 year?" Now usually he would start hyperventalating - and sweating- but last night he kissed my forhead and said 'Lets see how things go" and fell asleep. I couldnt bel;ieve it. This man has told me that whenever i brought up marriage I made another one of his hair's turn grey!

So I am feeling pretty happy.He also invitied me to Thanksgiving with his family. Things are good again, YEAH!!!

Now just got to get thru 2 more weekends, LOL!!!

[ONE SXXY LADY]

Sibling I wasn't judging you, I was telling you the way I see things...by what YOU have posted. You said you are in your early 30's? I was guessing early twenties by not only your reactions but just general things you've said.

 

The ironic thing about your post is that you've done things that many of us would have done and fallen flat on our faces...but it has just so happened to work in your favor. Either your ex doesn't know EVERYTHING..or you are just one VERY lucky lady. That said...good luck with everything!

[sibling295]

Hey OSL - Trust me - my ex found and READ my diary last week.He knows ALL!! I explained it was how i planned to get over him , I explained I was soo hurt when he left , i didnt know what else to do to feel good again.

As far as falling on your face - The thing was I always remained confident. Remember - I was set out to get OVER him. I had made up mymind. I was going to be okay.I said allot of affirmations to myself everyday. Confidence was key. It has lead into our new life together - and I am telling you I think its theis Push - Pull effect thing i have read about in other threads. What I am trying to do now is just move on to a mutual respect relationship.I admit I am still childish at times. But things take time - I suppose. Again I am no puritan. ( Actually I am a liberal!) So thats why I am still on enotalone. Plus I feel ppl could learn something .Even if its LA GIRLS ARE HORRIBLE!!! LOL!!

So I try to put out the confidence is key thing - to the other posts I have read. Like there is this one guy . He sounds like a great guy.I keep telling him to be a great man .I want to see this person I dont even know HAPPY.

Your right i could have fallen on my face - but i remained confident. I envisioned success. But MY success , not with him. Not with any man . My ex just happened to really feel like he made a mistake and came back.

I wish everyone on this thread is a success. Yes even you tiredman!!!! I hope we all find happiness. The world is sometimes not a kind place.

As a matter of fact - I want to personally apologize to Tiredman. I hope your day is great , my friend.

Sib

[sibling295]

check this out -

link removed