Cheating rules! Everyone should READ!

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Cheating is wrong. Emma stated this and came here to help out with some advice to potiental cheaters to discourage them from cheating. The REALLY funny part is if you heck Emma's public profile, you'll see she hasn't posted anything since January 28. Let sleeping dogs lie guys, this post was way buried and dug up just to bash her. I mean, come on, can anyone 100% say that they've never made a terrible mistake before? I know I can't, I've never cheated, but I have hurt people I really cared about by making mistakes. After all, we all are only human. Emma owned up to her mistake too. That does mean something. Cheating doesn't ALWAYS get found out. She could have just kept her mouth shut like most cheaters.

 

Is she justifying? For me, being someone who was cheated ON, honestly I don't think so. I really wish my ex would have had something like this to read before she did what she did to me. Emma's post might have made her have second thoughts. In the end no one won, I was destroyed and so was she when the guy she cheated with on me, cheated on her. When my ex did try to come back, she basically told me that she realized that she was used. It didn't change the fact that she made the choice to cheat, which is why I didn't take her back. Emma's lucky, she has a guy who's willing to take that chance. I truly hope it's working out great for her now that she's seen the light.

[yeawutever]

Ok, guess we been bashing her before and afterall she did came here to discourage future cheating, so sorry Emma for being too hard (ok after reading so much posts on this forum, I just decided to soften), no need for judging, so I won't. I gotta say, nope, she didn't seem to have made any excuses, that's good. Some people just savor justifying their wrongful acts, while others do express remorse about it and say what must be done for none of this to occur again. It's better to fess up than not tell, cuz then imagine when your partner finds out, he/she will be more devasted and will then be thinking if you fell guilty b/c of what you did or b/c you caught.

[tylercdurden2004]

Amazing the amount of people in this forum who have never done anything wrong!!

[Spectre22]

I think its funny when cheaters try to justify their loose behavior, thumbs up.

[yeawutever]

I think its funny when cheaters try to justify their loose behavior, thumbs up.

 

Yea, I know that. But, she does seen remorseful about it and well she didn't came here to be bash at.

[tylercdurden2004]

No matter what you do wrong most people would like to think they will be gievn a second chance. I dont think shes justifying it at all. Cheating isnt always cut and dried. I myself fidn a GF getting into a non-physical intimate realtionship with another guy a bit disturbing, but thats me. EVryone can and should have friend but lines can be crossed and they dont have to be physical or even open and direct regarding attraction. I would be happier with a GF meeting a guy at a bar on a one night stand and banging him than seeing a GF meet a new guy and becoming "friends" with him. GOing out all the time etc. Its totally a personal thing.

[TiredMan]

I'm so opposite of that. If a woman I am with has a one night stand or has sex with any other guy, she might as well die. In fact, I would pray for it.

[tylercdurden2004]

No i dont really appreciate a girl physiclly cheating on me and, well, depending on the situation I would 90% help her find the door. But if i wasa in a relationship and the girl was becoming "friends" with another guy yeah that aint cool. But again that depends on what I was expecting and what we had talked about the relationship being. End of the day its just as bad cheating emotionally. Cheating is trying to find something from somewhere other than home, emotional, physical or otherwise. I would have to say "emotional" cheaters are more passive aggressive in their behaviour, something I detest. I respect someone more who does something wrong and says they dont care than someone who pretends and lies to themselves that what they are doing is ok. i dont know to many people who think physical cheating is ok but I know a good few who think its ok to engage in "emotional" cheating. Depends on the situation and what each person wants and expects. But if you aint happy with a part of your relationship and cant talk to the other person about it, simply end it and leave the hurt out of it.

[Spectre22]

I just think its funny this girls convinced herself that she isnt a bad person for cheating. and then posted to us why she is convinced. Sure, you arent bad in the same way charlie manson is, but you aint no angel either and you sure as hell cant play it off on depression/sadness/every other excuse on the list.

 

I can make a new list for you: 1-dont cheat, if youre sad, dont cheat, if youre upset, dont cheat. if youre unhappy with your relationship, use a little something i like to call speech, or communication. Simple-as-pie.

[Spectre22]

I myself fidn a GF getting into a non-physical intimate realtionship with another guy a bit disturbing, but thats me.

 

did you just throw this out here as a random fact? ive gone over every post the OP has made, there is no mention that it was non-physical cheating

[Spectre22]

She admitted that she messed up, he chose to take her back and in the midst of her happiness she decided to come here to try to help.

 

eh, this kinda irks me, lets review, lets see what help there was, her list:

 

 

1) You need to communicate your problems...acting out doesn't solve anything.

 

no offense to this girl, but this isnt anything new, its common sense, to post on here as some sort of advice is like making a topic telling everyone to look both ways before they cross the street.

 

2) You have to seriously ask yourself 'is this worth losing?'

 

 

see above answer

 

3) Even if you never get caught - your STILL losing something

 

who woulda thought..? again: theres nothing new here, again: Equivalent to telling me i shoudlnt throw my plugged in tv into my bathtub with me sitting in there, common sense people, we dont need topics about this.

 

4) There is no such thing as 'just this once' because one time ruins it all

 

and here i thought cheating multiple times only ruined it all, again common sense.

 

5) Their forgiveness may astound you, but nothing can compare to their plain old love

 

nothing compares to love of..someone you love? yeah, again: no newsflash there.

 

Im gonna stop at 5 cuz i could do that for EVERY "point" she made, why dont i just make a topic telling someone a step by step process on how to put on pants? whats even more ballsy is the TITLE of her topic! CHEATING RULES, sorry, thats just incredibly amusing to me, especially when people act like this girls trying to help humanity.

[yeawutever]

Well once the milk falls, no point of crying over spill milk. What she's trying to say is basically this "Ok, I know, I big a horrible mistake, wish I was bcak in time, but no use now, but to live and learn, good thing he forgave though I didn't deserve it". She's informing those who are in a rocky relationship and are somewhat getting tempted, it's like she's saying "Listen, people, don't make the same mistake I did, it can cost you a hell of a long time trust issues, jealousy, arguments, etc, or your love walking away from you and you'll never get over the consequences." That's what she's trying to inform the future wanna be cheaters.

[tylercdurden2004]

did you just throw this out here as a random fact? ive gone over every post the OP has made, there is no mention that it was non-physical cheating

 

No its not a random fact but a fact about how I feel. Everyones different and has differenet opinions and unless your qualified (ie PhD, Masters, or what ever else is regarded as the the essential qualifications) what you say on this website is simply your opinion. So no its not a scientific fact.

[tylercdurden2004]

Listen Spectre I personally appreciate the moral stand. i dont think anyone here has really condoned cheating or for taht matter her actions. Its all about her realizing her mistake. Simple-as-pie. I maybe stupid but I have yet to meet anyone who hasnt made some kinda mistake in their life, tried to justify etc. and then when "hey, I really messed up". We all make mistakes and some of us realize this faster than others.

 

As for communication. Why do you think there are so many problems in the world? Lack of effective communcation seems to be a central theme in most of them. So I guess we all shouldnt date or really do anything for that matter until we are all "good" communcators, whatever that may look like. Mayeb you could teach the world a thing.

 

End of the day she shouldnt have cheated, did, realized it was wrong, wrote out specifically what she now thinks about it. So get off the high horse and give it a rest.

[Spectre22]

No its not a random fact but a fact about how I feel. Everyones different and has differenet opinions and unless your qualified (ie PhD, Masters, or what ever else is regarded as the the essential qualifications) what you say on this website is simply your opinion. So no its not a scientific fact.

 

No, it is a random fact/opinion from you. Now, had the topic been about this girl doing some non-physical cheating, it wouldnt of been random, but alas-it was, I mainly focused on it incase there was another topic where she says it was an emotional cheat or something cuz lord knows people post several topics.

[yeawutever]

She said:

 

I am so glad that he can forgive me

 

Yeah, well I bet he hasn't forgotten!!!!

 

Good Night.

 

Right on, forgiving is not the same of forgetting. Unless he has a real accident that made him forget (amnestia) then that would be a different story. Wish this would stop, but oh well, guess it'll still continue.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

Wish this would stop, but oh well, guess it'll still continue

 

For once I agree with you Ailec, Emma hasn't posted for almost 2 months now, yet people still feel the need to bash her. She did the hard thing and confessed. He didn't find out, SHE told him. Her boyfriend forgave her and she came here as to post as a warning to other would be cheaters. Something that I think was very admirable.

 

Will he ever forget? I doubt it, but true forgiving is also letting go. I know to this day I've have yet to forget my ex who cheated on me. Probably never will, but I'm not going to let her mistake wreck my life. Holding onto anger would do that.

 

Mind you I've also had almost 8 years to get over it so...

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I don't want to bash her in particular, but all people who don't have the sense to treat the people in their lives the way they would want to be treated themselves. It doesn't change what she is or did because she told him and he didn't find out on his own. That's trying to minimize her mistake.

 

Actually, I see that as owning up to her mistake, not minimizing it. After all she CHEATED, how can you minimize that? One way I can think of would be to hide it from her boyfriend so he never finds out.... She did the right thing, which was also the very hard thing. She owned up to making the mistake and did so knowing that she was probably going to lose her boyfriend over it. I have to admit, the ONLY way I'd ever take back a girlfriend/wife after cheating would be if she told me herself right after it happened. Any other way, and it's out the door you go, have a nice life.

 

I do have to agree with you, it's good to forgive the cheater, even if it's only for your own sake. Carrying around hatred will only poison you in the end, you just have to let it go. Your term of forgetting is good too. You don't want to put yourself in the same situation with another person that you were in before.

 

As for a woman having a lot of guy friends, I'm actually in that boat right now. I'm just taking it as it comes, we'll see.

[Belinda]

I think when it comes to cheating there is only ever one rule: don't.

[sddeaston]

Princess must be one of those cheating * * * * * *... hahahaha, I hate them. You should go somewhere else, cuz you don't need to be here telling people who cheat not to ever tell. I hope you get/have been cheated on, I wanna hear about it

[Royltnxile]

You cheated on your boyfriend and he forgave you and took you back?

 

You're boyfriend is a chump. You will probably cheat on him again under the right circumstances and given the right opportunity, despite your big list. Why? Because by forgiving you and taking you back he sacrificed his self respect and dignity by letting you know that it's okay if you cheat on him. You don't know it now, but you will lose respect for him over time as well. Why? Because eventually you will see his forgiveness and taking you back after you cheated on him as weakness on his part...and you will grow to resent him.

 

Once a cheater, always a cheater. If they stray...they must pay. It's as simple as that.

[SxcLady]

5) Their forgiveness may astound you, but nothing can compare to their plain old love

 

 

You said this yourself ... re read it! this was in your rules. he will forgive but not forget. I know what you are going through. I was a cheater myself. plus I was just recently cheated on. Ive been on both sides. And its not pretty on either side. I have pushed the guy that i cheated on so far to the back of my mind. I only talk to him when I must. He asked me out again, I turned him down and now im trying NC. he told me that he couldnt love anyone else. And i told him that i know he would never be able to completely love and trust me. he said he could ... i said to him "why are you telling me whats up here (pointing to my head) instead of whats in here(pointing at my heart)". I walked away and i havnt seen him since. I know its not nice and easy to turn someone down but ... it needs to be done. This guy you are back with ??? will he ever love you 100% again? he may say he does but is that his brain talking or his heart. There will always be that What if??? Wont there?

[Brooding_Goddess]

What sort of a woman would forgive her boyfriend for cheating on her, and pretends that the other woman doesnt exist at all, when she knows very well they work and play together? The man has no intention to devote himself completely to her. She asked him to marry her and he says no. She knows it all too well that the man will gradually move on, but is still keeping him around. What sort of a woman would actually do that?