Finding love with 2 kids??

[shouse76]

Does anyone have kids, and is not with the father but is trying to date? I feel like i won't find anyone with kids. i have a 2 year old with one man, and am prego by another man. things haven't worked out with this one either, and now am scared that no guy will want to date me with having 2 kids by 2 different fathers. Is it possible to find someone...the 3rd time around.

 

Don't they say the 3rd times the charm??

[rosstheboss]

They certainly do!

 

You will find someone but it might just take some time. An older guy or even a guy who has or has had kids would be the best bet as they know what to expect from the relationship.

Too many single guys (and I was one!) think that they can settle down with a girl with kids but often they don't know what its like being in a 3 or in your case 4 way relationship where the kids come first.

 

If you are a nice person and a guy is willing to take on your kids then you will have no trouble in finding somebody.

 

Good luck!

[Day_Walker]

I believe that it is possible to find a man that will be interested in you even though you have 2 children. I see it happen all the time, I do think you need to realize that some men wont date you because you have two kids but you just need to accept that.

[darkblue]

There will be men that will say they don't want the extra baggage, responsibility etc.

But some won't mind.

 

Don't give up hope.

[CarterJonas]

Of course you will! My best friends girlfriend has children by different men. It hasn't stopped or worried him as they have been together for some 5 years iirc now.

[ratherbesailing]

Hi shouse -

 

When I ended up single at 38 I had two kids of my own and when I started dating I found I had nothing in common with women who didn't have kids. Two of my checklist items for a new girlfriend were someone who has kids and someone who knows what a bad relationship is so she could recognize a good one. The right guy will find you.

[RayKay]

Sure there are some men whom will be discouraged that you have kids, but there are plenty of others whom will be fully accepting of you and your family whether or not they have their own children.

 

A little story for you:

 

My dad left my mom when I was 7, my brother 2 and my sister still a bun in the oven, and my mother joined an organization here called Parents Without Partners. They held activities through the month for divorced, separated and widowed parents - not a "dating place", but a social group for single parents. They had activities that included kids (ie halloween parties, trips to the zoo) and ones just for the parents too.

 

When my sister was 3 months old, they held an outing to the local waterpark....and a man from the PWP group introduced himself to my mom. Turns out he was a sucker for a giggling baby, and could not resist introducing himself to my mom. He was divorced and had one son of his own. They spent time together that day talking while us kids went and played on the slides.

 

Almost 20 years later, they are still together. A year after they met he moved in with my family and took on us kids as his own and he and his son have been family ever since and was and is amazing to us all. They both chose not to get married but are "married" in everything but that civil union (here in Canada they have all the same rights etc as a married couple by now!), and they are one of the most loving, respectful, beautiful couples I know or have known! I am glad he came into our life!

 

So yes...it can INDEED happen

[shouse76]

I enjoyed the boost of confidence from everyone who replied. I am in my 8th month right now, and i guess that's why I feel like I won't find a good guy. Especially now after 2 failed relationships. I never imagined this life. I am supposed to live happily ever after. So now the 2nd time around i thought it would happen. VERY discouraging. RayKay- thank you for the story. It put a smile on my face. I start to wonder if I did something wrong, and am being punished for it, and this is it. I believe in God and wonder if he is punishing me. Only time will tell.

 

30 is creeping up on me, and I feel like I am running out of time.

[kpow]

shouse76

 

Check out my posts on this forum. I have 2 kids by 2 dads, and have now been through 2 failed relationships. I completely understand where you are coming from. My kids are 4 years and 18 months. I feel undatable, but I have been out a few times. i guess really I am not ready to be in another relationship yet, and i can't imagine that you would be either.

 

I would advise you to focus on yourself, your kid and pregnancy at this point. give yourself 6 months to a year after the birth to get back to yourself somewhat (emotionally, physically, time-wise). Don't let someone in just because he expresses interest, and you are lonely, if he is not the RIGHT guy. don't expose your kids to your dates-- this is my firm rule. my dates DO NOT meet my kids. I will not expose them to another man until i am certain he is a keeper-- and that will take months of dating to figure out. We must protect our children at all costs, and they should not be a part of our dating scene. it is not fair to them, and not fair to the guy, either!

 

PM me, or continue to post. I am in the same exact boat, and haven't figured it all out. All i know is that I have two beautiful children.

[CarterJonas]

Hi shouse -

 

When I ended up single at 38 I had two kids of my own and when I started dating I found I had nothing in common with women who didn't have kids. Two of my checklist items for a new girlfriend were someone who has kids and someone who knows what a bad relationship is so she could recognize a good one. The right guy will find you.

 

I like that sentence I have highlighted bold. Some people just don't know a good thing when they are on to it. I also look for someone who has been through a bit of life experience so she knows whats good in a relationship.