I had sex with the Ex

[heartbroken84]

Okay.....back to square one...I feel like crap and it's all my fault! Basically after 4 months I asked him if there was any chance of us getting back together. He said no, he's over me, he's moved on, been with other girls. etc....

 

We talked some more....he held my hand carressed my hand, admitted it wasn't the same without me. That he missed me. But that he is not ready to get back into a relationship, he said he tried with someone else. We talked about why things went wrong, and I explained that things would be different and that I have learned a lot of things, and him breaking up with me was a wake up call. I told him I still love, care, and have feelings for him. And I sincerely want him to be happy.

 

Anyways, he gave me a ride home (I needed one), and well it was 3am and I hinted that my roomie was not home and invited him to spend the night. Told him he was welcome to crash there, I tempted him with a massage and we kind of joked that we would keep things strictly platonic.

So I was surprised him came over, he said he didn't have the keys to his apartment and has no self control..

 

Well long story short, he said he missed me again held me. We have such a strong emotional and physical connection. He asked me why things went wrong between us, I explained. And we made love...4 times in one night. For me and, it was amazing as always. He said it was always the best with me. So we've got great chemistry.

 

I don't know, I know what I was getting myself into. i couldn't resist. I want to get back in a relationship, but I know he doesn't...his life is different and I don't know if I fit in it. I feel like he was just looking for a booty call with someone familiar. And now he's going to forget about me and toss me aside. And be like "oh that was a mistake, I don't want to be with you". I feel so cheap...I mean I put it out on the table that I still love him and thats how I feel--I'm not over him. And for him to come over and make love/sex to me....4 times...geez....I guess some guys have the capability do that and can't control their desires.

 

Sucks to be me...I know he's not ready, I know it was just familiar sex. Lust, not love. He doesn't care about me...what a guy...I need to get him out of my life, cause he doesn't care about me and is only out to hurt my feelings..

[bleeder]

Hi Heartbroken84,

 

Don't beat yourself up over what has happened. It has come to past, and let it stay that way. None of us are totally invulnerable, and he must have made the most out of a situation when you were emotionally at your weakest.

 

To ensure that you do not hurt yourself further, refrain from any form of contact with him. Be it emails, the phone, whatsoever. I think he is just out to prey on your vulnerability and has no genuine intentions of loving you again. So make your stand, and kick him out of your life.

 

I am sure that you deserve better.

[heartbroken84]

You say some good things. I am vulnerable. You are right, he prolly was looking to have a good thing, and the opportunity was there. I just can't believe that he would mess with me again, we were both sober too!! ..this will teach me...I had to learn it that hard way.

[Caldus]

Am I missing something here? Did he actually 'toss you aside' again afterwards or are you making assumptions?

[Ant5157]

girl,

 

dont feel bad , becouse the same thing happened to me this past week. my man broke it off with me like almost 2 months ago and he called me at 3 am in the morning wantinting to talk to me. so I envited him over and we tallke and yes we had sex that night. I also was wanting to know if were were going to work things out. and he was like yeah. so I said ok so I called him the next day and he didnt return my phone call and so I felt like you did like a $2.00 hore. I was really hurt then and still am becouse the door was shut in my face again so thats when i realized that I have to do the NC with him . girl its been hard with the NC becouse you dont know how much I want to tell him about himself and how he did me. so me I wish i had something to say to incourage you when i need it too. Im lost myself becouse i still love him even though how he did me. so your situation is like mines too. I take it as a lession learned too. I guess it worth being a (A) Awhen we shoudnt be .

[Dregnought]

unfortuentsly, everyone does. Its jsut a harsh fact of life.

[Ant5157]

I dont take it as a harsh of life I take it as very disrespectful to me. and to playwith your heart is one thing!

[Dregnought]

i more mean that you have to learn everything the hard way lol.

[CATLOVER]

Heartbroken,

 

It hurts doesnt it! I know I know.After months of NC and finally speaking tomy Ex because I was looking for closure....he convinced me to let him take me out for the night against my better judgement (but I bloody missed him). Anyway he weedled himself into staying the night (though I didnt give him any mojo becaue I HAVE learnt at least not to do THAT from past experience). But he still got to sleep next to me all night and to cuddle me and to booody well grope me......and I dont care what anyone says for a woman who cares it still feels intimate and it still hurt like hell when he backed off a few days later.

 

 

Back TO NC for you...BACK to no contact for me!

[litoosh743]

Hey there heartbroken,

I'm gonna let you in on something in order to get you to understand that there is no hope what so ever.

I've been sleeping with my ex for nearly a year now, I am completely and utterly in love with him, and I am in a really really deep depression because of it. He does not have any feelings for me and is using me only for sex. he doesn't stay the night, he comes over, gets what he wants, he doesnt even kiss me...and during this whole year I haven't mentioned our relationship once! before that we were not in contact for 8 months, I didn't see him or hear from him once during the whole time and since we met, we've been sleeping togetehr and thats about it. He has no feelings for me at all, but i keep letting him hurt me because i cannot in any circumstance let him go. I'd rather have him this way than not at all. how pathetic is that eh? hopefully at some point i will get fed up because i need a lot of love and affection and i get neither from him....so i do believe that right now i'm getting some sense into my brain and realising how badly i'm treating myself by letting him do this...

I'm telling you this so you will realise that having sex with him means absolutely nothing.

If he really loved you, you would be back together, with no conditions don't you agree? you wouldnt have to try to get him back and tip toe around his ego and feelings...it would just happen, and to be honest, if it was a true and healthy love the relationship should have lasted in the first place.

All i can say is - move on, never look back - its you life!

[jacs82]

how do we get over not bein wanted for a relationship by them anymore?

[darkblue]

how do we get over not bein wanted for a relationship by them anymore?

 

Two letters: NC.

[Caldus]

I dont take it as a harsh of life I take it as very disrespectful to me. and to playwith your heart is one thing!

 

Unfortunately **** happens in this world. Gotta learn how to deal with it.

 

how do we get over not bein wanted for a relationship by them anymore?

 

What the above poster said and keeping busy with new hobbies and activities. Over time (however short or long it may end up being), you will recover your mentality. Worst thing you can do is sit there and think about them. Get up and keep busy (doesn't even have to be just work). You won't regret it.