What to do next

[The Thinker]

I was on and off with this girl for a while but she didnt want anything serious and i got too attached so we ended up just arguing and leaving each other. I thought this was the most amazing girl in the World but i know nothing more now is ever going to happen but i am finding it difficult to move on as i just feel my confidence totally gone.Any tips?

[sayer7]

Don't ya hate those short but passionate relationships.

 

They teach you what you like and don't like. They show you the good qualities of a person that you want in a significant other who will stick around longer than you can say 'Hello.' AND they show you the qualities your life could do without.

 

Just know that when you meet the RIGHT person, they'll be ready for all the ups and down that are part of a relationship, they won't just ditch you for the next greatest thing if you have an 'off' day, and they will take you and the relationship seriously and respect you for who you truly are and what the relationship stands for.

 

It sounds like this Miss Wonderful didn't stay around long enough for you to really get to know who she truly was... and now that she's gone- maybe you really don't want to be with someone who argues so much and leaves you so quickly.

 

I'm just saying, Maybe it's for the best, and I have no doubt in my mind that there are other fish in the sea that have even better qualities than Miss Wonderful's.

 

Keep your chin up, babe!

[reinvented21]

Whoa. Sounds like you could use a little advice. Hello. I hope you are feeling a little better after you read this. The word i want you to focus on is confidence. There is a major problem when youre confidence is totally gone after someone leaves you. Don't fret just yet. (hey that rhymes.) I've been there before. I've been in a relationship that ended along with my self esteem. But guess what, it can be built up. Here's a few suggestions how. The first step is by letting go. I know, its hard. However, its a necessary step. Let this girl go. Dont try to contact her. Dont try to purposely run into her. Get rid of anything that reminds you of her. Let her go. If you dont do this, you may reopen wounds. The next step is focusing on you and youre self confidence. Here are a few good ideas to bring youre self esteem back up. First, do volunteer work. If you give back to others even for an hour a week, you will find that there are others who depend on you. You will find that you have gifts that come from the heart that you can share. One of the greatest helps for me after my painful breakup was that i knew I still had something to give even though something was taken away from me. Second, walk with confidence. When you walk with confidence and dignity, you will feell confident. Like sayer7 said, keep that chin up, no matter what. Watch youre posture. Think about youre neediness issues. Did you sacrifice youreself for this relationship. Did you keep youre hobbies, interests, family, friends; or did you constantly run around trying to please this girl. If you did the later, you probably lowered her interest. Girls like confidence, so change youre mindset before you enter into another relationship. Think of youreself as a prince. Read yourself positive affirmations on a daily basis. Tell yourself how intelligent, handsome, charismatic, and important you are. If you think it, sooner or later you will start to believe it. Check youre integrity at the door. If you were honest with yourself, i dont think you liked being attatched to this girl. If necessary, get help to work on those attatchment issues. Alot of times people become romantically attatched to others because of the way they were brought up. If need be, dont be afraid to get professional help. Getting help, doesnt make you weird, it showes courage. One more thing, i have seen this countless times. DONT RUSH INTO ANOTHER RELATIONSHIP. Give youre mind and body time to heal. Its okay to make mistakes,however, it becomes a problem when you keep making the same mistake over and over. Improve youre confidence, believe in yourself, open new doors to happiness, and eventually things will get better in time.

 

Peace.

[pennywise1]

Well said!