Need some quick advice

[normal man]

Me and my girlfriend broke up and she wanted her space but I called and emailed and annoyed for a week straight. After that I let good and gave her her space and we talked on Monday and agreed maybe we shouldnt talk for a bit because it was too hard. She seems to not want to work at this at all and wants to just move on were I am crazy about her and would like to work it out.

 

Well I havent had a job in awhile and used that as my excuse for being neglectful and moody, which is what I assume pushed her away. She know is enjoying herself with new friends and new things to do which makes it harder for me to get her back, i believe.

 

Anyways I started a new job today and am so happy about it and feel like calling her and telling her about it and maybe asking if we can meet up and talk about out relationship and maybe work things out. Since ill be happier and less moody and able to work on the relationship. Thing is Im scared if I get turned down Ill just feel worse again. We've been broken up for 2 weeks.

 

Need advice ASAP please and thanks

[normal man]

I was too excited about my new job so I called her at work. She talked to me and when i made assumptions about her moving on with someone else and assumtions that she didnt miss me I guess She said no she didnt say that. I probbaly shouldnt have said things such as that because it's almost putting her in a position to feel guilty, but things i was thinking just came out.

 

I asked her to meet me and talk and she seemed so nervous and taken back by me even bringing it up. She was like "for what?" as if she is worrying that I'll try to plead for her back. Anyways she said she couldnt talk anymore cause she was at work.

 

I sent her an email shortly after, and than texted her to read her email and that she should try to finish the whole thing because it wasnt like the others were I plead and begged for her back...

 

I'll post the email I sent if anyone wants to read it.

[heloladies21]

Well if you wanna do what's best, you will go No Contact and see if she works to get you back, but if you're not to the point where you feel like you can commit to NC, keep doing whatever you feel like doing. Call her when you want, tell her how you feel, all of that. It won't get her back, but you will get so fed up with her rejecting you that you will eventually want to go NC anyways.

[Southern_Belle]

For me it was the fear of rejection which made me do NC.

I'd done all those "things" before(with other ex), and got rejected so many times, so eventually I forced to do NC. Since I realized that trying to contact him wouldn't work out, I decided to do NC. But it was really difficult to keep it. Only thing which kept me doing it was the previous experience of contact which awakes the fear of rejection. Now I can talk about this experience calmly, but it took so many years for me to get over the shameful/embarrassing feeling. We should know better than putting us in an embarrassing situation.

My point is, if you keep getting no/negative responses, go NC before you get more negative responses. I know NC is really hard, but remembering that you begged/pleaded/you-name-it when it's over is more painful.

[Yowser_76]

My point is, if you keep getting no/negative responses, go NC before you get more negative responses. I know NC is really hard, but remembering that you begged/pleaded/you-name-it when it's over is more painful.

 

AIN'T THAT THE TRUTH!!!

 

I agree with the others, you should back off a bit. I did the exact opposite of what I'm telling you to do and it tore me apart. Even though NC is SO hard overall it's not as painful as being rejected again and again. You need to give her space and time to think. Don't tell her you've changed and are getting your life together, SHOW her. If she cares in time she'll contact you. Good luck.

 

Congrats on your new job too...I hope it all works out for you

[normal man]

she was out with a friend that hangs out with my friends. Saw her last, made her come talk to me, she was drinking. I had her in my car talking and she was crying about how she cant and that she loved me and all. Than she dropped a bombshell on me that she signed a lease to move 30mins away from where she was living with her father. She's moving in december with a girl from work that she just got close with when we broke up and one of that girls friends.

 

We ended up sleeping together. I was pushing for it and she was saying no but than gave in. BIGGEST mistake ever. It didnt faze her cause today i called and couldnt convince her not to move and that it would split us forevere and there would never be a chance.

 

Im back to square one with pleading and hurting.

 

talked to her again today and she said :

 

I NEED TO LET YOU GO. THIS ISN'T FAIR TO YOU. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'D EXPECT ME TO SAY OR WANT ME TO SAY. I TOLD YOU HOW I FELT ALSO...AND WHAT I SAID STILL STANDS, HOWEVER I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME ANYMORE AND THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT.

 

I'LL TALK TO YOU SOME OTHER TIME, NOT NOW.

[Yowser_76]

Normalman, PLEASE listen to her and give her some space. Trust me, I made the mistake of pushing too hard. I begged and pleaded and tried so hard to make things right between us and now my ex isn't speaking to me at all. I don't think he ever will. It's been nearly 3 weeks and it's killing me. I hate myself for the way I acted. I don't want to see you go through that.

 

HOWEVER I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR ME ANYMORE AND THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT.

 

The only way she's going to figure things out is if you let her. Give her time to think and get her head around things. She said she still loves you so that's a good sign. Just stop pushing.

 

Don't be too stressed about her moving either. It's not like she's leaving the country...she's only moving 30 minutes away. In time, if she wants to see you and spend time with you SHE WILL.