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Hello,

 

Ummm... where to start.

 

Well, my gf and I have been seeing each other for a while now, its getting fairly deep too. The things we talk about are pretty serious and cover things like marriage, children and so on.

 

The thing is it was all ok, up until now, for some reason I feel like, im being rushed, like I want it to be unpredictable but it would involve change. We broke up before, well she broke up with me to be more exact, because she was feeling then, what i am now, she said she was scared of the extent of the commitment she would need to and have to enforce upon her self in order to be with me, not talking bout infidelity more like commiting thoughts and treating each other more or less like a husband and wife. This all sounds crazy.... what makes it more awkward is that were only 16. We got back together, she told me she missed the things we had talked about and dreamed off, we were apart for only a week or so... now it seems, i want us to be just like any typical 16 year old couple, but i know, that its impossible, because our love has grown on our imagination and the passion and intensity that we share... I dont know why all of a sudden, i flicked like that and i dont know what to do. I love her and i want to be with her, but its draining me. She is the best girl i ever known, i could even say something as strange as, i even think and feel that were soul mates... Though, i cant figure out whats driving me to lament the things were doing, i think it could be because we've matured in our relationship to soon and to fast. It also might be because i had to grow up quicker in my self, due to the death of my father....I dont want to brake up with her, or go on a brake, because im scared of loosing her and i can see how much it would hurt her and me....

 

I dont know what answer or what solution i need, i dont know what to do or feel...I do need help with this though....

 

Thank you.

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Whoa ! well you know just because your love feels so strong and mature between you doesnt mean you have to be thinking about or doing adult things....there is no rush...you have years and years to really find out if the relationship is really what you both think and feel it is.....the test of time will be the true indicator. Your gift is that you can both just relax now and be teenagers and have fun.....you can be commited to each other to a point but believe me all the rest marriage and children and all that....thats not a fairytale and it can be very hard with many issues and is best left until you are adults and can handle it. Now the two of you need to chill out , enjoy each other and enjoy your carefree youth

Best of Luck

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ok well

its obvious use feel strong for each other, and being 16 aswell i know views of marriage and kids etc are common ure probably not taking it seriously which is good and if you are taking it seriously dont. its ages away. Anyway now with your problem. what seems to of happened to the realtionship is its gotten too deep for you to cope with, very common in teenagers, the only thing i can suggest is maybe take it back a notch to a level your happy at. just but not being as close and intimate. i dont mean stop kissing her or telling her how you feel. i mean more of less talk about the future and more talk of the present. it might take a while to get into effect. try to set yourself a goal of the furthest in the future youll talk about is 1 month away. Hope this helped

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Hi there,

 

It sounds like you are "over-teching" this situation. You 2 are only 16!! Way too early to be thinking about marriage and kids and soul mates. When I was 16, those were last 2 things I wanted to worry about. When you start worrying about things like that, it can definitely put a dark cloud over your relationship and it's so unneccisary. I would tell her this...

 

"Let's forget about this kids and marriage stuff. I really love being with you so let's enjoy being with one another and take things slow." That should take care of things. Wishing you the best and take care.

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