Where can i go and how do i come onto him?

[Shadows Light]

Does this 14 year old support herself? feed herself? cloth herself? Pay her own health insurance? Does she have the educational level and skill sets to support herself? No. She does not.

 

Whether she knows what sex is and what it entails and is physically able to have a sexual relationship is not the issue. She can not support herself nor be a contributing citizen in the community at age 14. Possible...but RARE... what are the odds. She can't live off of love.

 

The mindset of a 21 year old and a 14 year old are different. Granted, I'll give her credit... she may be wiser beyond her years. Mature. But I wouldn't HIRE a 14 year old to work for me full time. And there are laws against that also.

 

To the poster. Not getting down on you or being mean. But can you see the point of all these posts to your question??? Does any little bit sink in???

 

Let me ask you a question. Is there any other way you get ESTEEM built in your life? I mean.. what is your home situation? Are mom and dad there for you? How's school.. .how are your grades? Do you play sports? Are you into art? Are you into music...?? what types of things to you do in your spare time that you are good at...that people will pat you on the back for and say ..."Good-job....I'm proud of you" And when was the last time your parents did that for you???? said.."Good Job.. I'm proud of you?"

 

I am hard pressed not to be patronizing or not to act like a mom talking to you. If there is one thing or one thought that you should learn now...and keep it in mind as you grow into adulthood its... SEX does not Equal LOVE. It doesn't build you up as a person inside. Its an action... not an emotion. Think of it in terms of VERBS and NOUNS. Two different animals. We call having sex making love. But the distinction of making LOVE is a very very deep and spiritual action that most people do not understand until they are fully mature... if ever.

 

Please PM me at anytime. If there's stuff going on at home you want to talk about... I can listen and be a sounding board.

[RayKay]

RayKay-

 

Yes i know he can go to jail, ONLY IF HE TELLS SOMEONE!!! other than that we arent going to get caught, i mean please.... i know and have read the laws about Illegal Sex. But why cant anyone just SIMPLY answer my question....GOSH! is it that hard? really if there is anyone out there that can do that?

 

It does not take someone telling someone. It's not that hard for someone to FIND OUT. What happens if you got pregnant (NO birth control is 100%)..then what? Are you going to hide whom the father is, and deny that child it's father?

 

People are not going to answer because people are not really going to jump to help you engage in illegal activities, or encourage statuatory rape.

[DropToZero]

Actually...no, it's not only if HE tells someone...it's you...or your parents, or anyone else that YOU tell that could get him in verrrrrry deep. You don't seem to understand the fact, that even if you care about him a lot, and ANYONE...I mean ANY ONE!...found out, or caught you and pressed charges, you can totally ruin his life....I mean, please think about that....

 

Because if you want to know the truth, I have slept with a younger girl at one time, and at first I wouldn't do it when we met, but she kept wearing on me and finally it just happened. The problem is, I can NEVER piss her off or get her mad at me, I mean, think about the weight this girl can hold over my head....no matter the fact that she tells me she would tell no one and that I won't tell anyone...it's still a possibility. Even I face that chance now....but that was a mistake I think and in the end, I don't think it was worth it.

 

You want an answer tho, after which I think you should think about the fact that you can totally ruin this guy's life if anyone found out....you just tell him basically....that's what the girl I was with did. She just came out and pretty much said she wanted to sleep with me.

[naughtycowgirl]

Shadows Light-

The only other thing that boost my esteem is Jay(21). my home situation is that my mom has a new boyfriend from Kentucky, right next to jays house, my mom and dad are divorced, school is good, i play softball, i am in art, im not in music(HATE IT) In my spare time i get to ride my horse, i havent heard good job in a LONG LONG time. My mom always treats me like a BABY and i am sick of it, that is one of the reasons i wanna do bad things. Jay makes me feel like his naughty little secret, it makes me feel good. i mean i can depend on jay to listen to me when i need it, he is not only a friend but he is like my semi-boyfriend. i dont truly love him, but i have a different kind of love for him. I have a deep desire for his body, hes like a hunger i have, i NEED him. I dont know what else to say, if you wanna know any more in depth than please p.m. me

[darkblue]

It sounds like you're acting out mature actions to feel more like an adult - and less of what your mother thinks of you.

 

You don't even love Jay. It's lust.

 

 

 

Don't do it - save yourself for when it's with someone that's right. You only get one shot for a first time - make it count.

 

One more thing:

 

 

 

"Immature love says: 'I love you because I need you.' Mature love says 'I need you because I love you."

Erich Fromm

[naughtycowgirl]

ok..look guys i will let you know what happens, keep posting if you like but im out....bye

[Shadows Light]

Thank-you. Your mother is missing the boat by not seeing what a beautiful woman you are becoming. For whatever reason.

 

Treating you like a baby? In what ways does she treat you that way?

 

Your grades are good.. awesome!!! have you thought about what you are going to do in a few years?

 

And horseback riding.... am envious. Some of the BEST years of my life were at your age, riding and showing. I had a quarter horse mare. Dainty little thing at 14 1/2 hands. I was a western pleasure rider. Altough I loved gaming. Was lucky because I had versitile horse. Cool. Very cool.

 

Your boyfriend, Jay (21)... well, here the thing...being someone's dirty little secret doesn't do jack for you. Not inside. It doesn't build you. It takes from you. It steals your essense as a woman. It steals who you are and who you can be.

 

The hunger... I can understand. Who can't understand "the Hunger" at age 14 with those hormones raging. Been there. What I'm trying to tell you is that its NOT worth it. Truly truly... in the long run not worth it.

 

And you don't even love him. Not that way. So... this is an experiment??? This is a just a peak into what a sexual relationship is all about... or a way to get educated?????

 

You need to cut yourself a break. And quit selling yourself short. He's too easy of a mark, all he see's is TABOO. He doesn't see you. He's getting off on the illicitness of it. And fighting it. Which I hope he does... if he cares enough about you.. he'll walk away and let you grow up a bit.

 

And if you want your mother to treat you like an adult...then start commandign respect of yourself. Respect yourself and your body first. Boost your confidence. Then and only then... square off with your mother... and tell her what it is you need from her. Tell her you need more..and tell her exactly what you need. "MOM.. I need to spend more tme with just you." "MOM... I want you to come to more of my games" "MOM...when is the last time you said.. Good-job" "MOM... all I ever hear about is what I didn't do right ... or all I did wrong. Can you just notice the little things that I do do right...and that I do"

 

You want her to respect you. Respect yourself. and only then will you be able to command respect in return. And this is another free-be that will carry you through till your golden years.

[BellaDonna]

BellaDonna-

 

Yes as a matter a fact he did do those things, why would i lie? i have no reason to lie, i just wanted my question answered. how in the he** would my behind 'jump' into his hands. how would we "accidently" kiss??? MY GOD are that.....nevermind im not going to say what i want to. But like i said why would i lie? im just trying to figure out a place to go and how to ask him....

 

boyhorsecrazy,

 

I didn't think you were lying. But there was another poster who was suggesting that maybe these things didn't happen and you were exaggerating or making it out to be more than it was. It was very clear to me that those sexual things (kissing, touching) DID happen..but I just wanted you to clarify for yourself so posters in doubt could see.

 

keep posting if you like but im out....bye

 

I hate to pick on you, but that statement in and of itself does not show maturity. Everyone here is posting because they care about your situation and/or your topic. It's not about liking or disliking you. Just like having sex with a 21 year-old does not prove like or love. Sex and telling you you're pretty does not mean he truly cares. It sounds like you may have low self-esteem issues. Please work on this before you think about giving your body to anyone, regardless of their age.

 

I think, deep down, you posted this because you wanted to hear us try to talk you out of it. You know it's wrong. Would you REALLY post a question for the sole reason of asking us if you should have sex in a barn or a car? Or did you want confirmation that it is wrong to sleep wiht a 21 year-old when you are 14?

 

BellaDonna

[naughtycowgirl]

well to tell you the truth BellaDonna i REALLY wanted to know how to tell him i wanted more from him than a kiss and a hug. AND i wanted to know where i could go to do it, see here is the story...

 

He is working for a company that travels all over the southern area of the U.S. AL, FL, GA, TN, KY and so on. Well he happen to work on my moms job on the Russel Erskine Building. All these construction workers are renovating this building (it was built in 1934) Well i happen to be walking with the maintnence man that works there down the stairwell when Jay was taking a break.

 

I didnt really pay attention to him because i was shy and didnt even notice the guy. Well it was some coincedence that my mom met one of Jays co-workers and began to talk to him, well after they were aquainted, Charlie the guy my mom met told me one of his co-workers kept bugging him to introduce me to him and wanted to 'Hook-Up' Well i was like thats cool, then i asked him how old he was, then charlie said 21. Then that was when i backed off, and told Charlie that i am only 14.

 

Well the next day charlie told jay how old i was, and he backed off too and so on. Well when my mom had charlie over our house the second time he brought jay with him, and me and jay swam and got to know one another quite well. Jay realized he still liked me and i had a HUGE crush on him. So we are really close after 4 months of knowing one another. Charlie told me that Jay always wanted to come to our house when Charlie came over and all this other stuff. so there is where this all started and since then me and jay have kept close touch and where we are now.....

 

But that is only the first part of the story..if anyone would like to know more just p.m. if any one of yuns have any questions just ask.... I am open to anything and tempting do alot of things,

[annie24]

well i dont know, yes i am a VERY VERY mature 14 yr old. but see through MOST adults eyes 'every 14 yr old' thinks there mature, as a matter of fact i KNOW i am mature. i dont know what happened when i was a kid, but all i know is i dont look 14 or i dont act it either. i am 5'6, very shaply, and M-A-T-U-R-E. i dont know how i will get through your heads but that is how it is and how it will be. but i am considering doin something with him, but u all never answered my question

 

-Place?

-How do i tell him in a secertive way that i wanna 'sleep' with him?

 

If you don't think the 7 year age difference between you and him is a big deal, then would you date a guy who is 7 years younger than you? (7 years old, thereforeeee). What if he was very mature for his age?

 

Why or why not?

[naughtycowgirl]

well yea that is right, but in this case that is not the situation...ugh, ya'll are not helping. but anyways me and him have talked about it and when he comes back he wants me to show him the time of his life. so yea that is all

[DN]

well yea that is right, but in this case that is not the situation...ugh, ya'll are not helping. but anyways me and him have talked about it and when he comes back he wants me to show him the time of his life. so yea that is all

 

He wants you to show him the time of his life. I bet he does. So much for caring about you - it's all about him.

[Shadows Light]

I agree with DN... its all about HIM and what kind of time HE has.

 

Well.... you don't seem to want good sense. So at least protect yourself. Make sure you use protection. Find your local Family Planning Clinic and get yourself on the pill and get some condoms.

 

At the rate your going at you won't make it through and be the first one through college. You'll end up getting yourself pregnant and it'll be a huge struggle to make it through school.

 

Your skin. Good-luck to you.

[cal_014]

ive been looking at this and i just dont know how u can be so nieve, i mean common girl if u were mature u would realise that this one move could ruin both of ur lives, but if u do wait then u could live a full filling life with one another. If you really love this guy then dont go through with it. WAIT!

[sinnerboy]

SORRY WRONG TOPIC

[sinnerboy]

THIS GUY SHOULD BE IN JAIL, HE IS A SICK PERSON, GET AWAY FROM HIM AS SOON AS YOU CAN. YOU ARE TOO YOUNG!!!!!!!!!

[lifeisshort66]

This is saddening.

 

He doesn't love you, real sex isn't a one sided exchange. True sex is about communication and another way to show your love to another person.

 

My guess is he will kiss you once, and then insert. Make sure he is wearing a condom or else you WILL become pregnant. I would actually take two forms of birth control, because condoms can rip, tear, break, leak, etc.

 

In the end it's your body and you can do what you want with it.

[lillady898]

In the end it's your body and you can do what you want with it.

 

It's not even her body to do as she wishes with until she's of age.

 

Fourteen years-old... It really amazes me.

[BellaDonna]

boyhorsecrazy,

 

If a 21 year-old man needs a 14-year old girl to show him the "time of his life"....he is probably a real LOSER. He must be a social failure and weirdo, and can't hang with his in his own age group. He shouldn't need a young girl to show him the time of his life. He apparently is not very bright either. I guess it doesn't phase him that the time of his life stars him as a criminal and statuatory rapist....with a 14 year-old victim.

 

Keep in my the "time of his life" could be the ruiination of your life, especially if you were to contract an STD and/or get pregnant (and the ruination his life too if he's found out and goes to prison).

 

So despite the extreme immaturity you are both exhibiting in this situation, I hope both of you will at the very least use protection before you take part in this sleazy criminal act.

 

 

BellaDonna

[naughtycowgirl]

sleezy??? please, but anyways thanks, im going to do what i want, its how i am...lol, just be glad that i shared my story, i think most of you are amused. well thanks for your two cents you put in

[RayKay]

sleezy??? please, but anyways thanks, im going to do what i want, its how i am...lol, just be glad that i shared my story, i think most of you are amused. well thanks for your two cents you put in

 

He is sleazy....most of us whom are posting here HAVE been 21, and are telling you that when you are 21....there is something VERY wrong if you are interested and making moves on a 14 year old. Even with the illegality aside, and I know you will take offence to it being 'mature' and all, but the difference it that he is supposedly an adult, and you are a child. It's sleazy.

[lunatic]

When I was 21 I was involved with a 17 year old woman. I was with her for five years and almost married her. So I know that three years does not sound like a big deal but, boyhorsecrazy it is a HUGE DEAL!

 

Men at 21 are out going to bars and clubs to have fun. They are not going to the 8th grade dance or to the freshman formal. Sorry there is a reason that its illegal for a man to have sex with a child. Your still a child even though you may not think you are. Till you hit 16 or 17 depending on the laws in your part of the country your a child. This guy is a sleez because he is going to take advantage of you and your youth.

 

If you were my daughter I would seriously kill this guy if he touched you in a sexual way. Your mom sounds like she needs to have a visit from dyfus or some government agency because of neglect.

[Maria1980]

oh my!!! what is going on with teenagers these days?!!! when I was 14 I was still playing with barbie dolls and going to friends house to wacth movies and be back by 9pm the latest! I think that now days kids are growing up WAY too fast.. and thats no good... You should really enjoy your youth.. I mean, Im 25 now.. I work and go to school.. I'm still young.. but I can tell you one thing.. my teenage years passed so fast.. and you should enjoy being a teenager while you can.. Cause once you start working, you wont have much free time Try to find someone to date who is your own age, cause not to be mean but realistic.. this guy is a pedofile..

M.

[Shadows Light]

boy-horsecrazy. You've shared a picture of this guy with me. And he looks to be a very good looking young man, I can see your attraction. But seriously, your maturity non-withstanding. A man of 21 years old is out carousing and chasing tail at bars and college campuses. He's a good looking kid??? whats the catch?? what is the deal? have you asked yourself that question.

 

When I was 17... there was a guy I liked who flipped when he found out I was only 17. He was 25. He wouldn't even consider going out with me until I was 18 and graduated. And because he truly liked me. Respected me. My parents and the law. He waited till I was 18.

 

Age does matter. There is a very good reason these laws were put in place. And yes.. if he were found out... he'd be charged with statuatory rape and his picture would be displayed on the net in the community he lives in as a pedophile.

 

All glamour and romance aside. Do you want that on your consciece for the rest of your life??? don't egg him on Boy-crazy. If he does have social issues and likes "young" girls... would you like to be one of a string of girls he's corrupted when he gets caught and pinned. I don't think so.

 

If you were a mother.... what would you say to your 14 yr old daughter???

 

There are consequences... Harsh harsh consequences to your actions. And darlin.. I completely understand where you are coming from. It is sexy. It is seductive. And it is alluring...but honey, don't play with this fire. Find a boy your age or hold out for one. Respect yourself. Have confidence in yourself. He's not daddy to give you those hugs you need.... he can't replace that. And for that I am truly sorry. Your parents missed the boat somewhere...and its a crying shame. You are a good kid.. a beautiful girl.. good grades.. intelligent.. with a bright future ahead of you. THINK. THINK. THINK.

 

These people on this forum.. are not your enemies darlin. They speak from experience of being there. They speak from experience of being parents. They speak from experience and wisdom of having lived a little bit and having made thier OWN mistakes. They are here to give you some good advice. Thats what enot is all about. Thats why you are here.

 

Certainly... you asked about.. Where and How you can seduce this man. If you were 18 and consenting age... don't you think we'd come up with some romantic ideas for you. Read up and down the SEX AND ROMANCE forum.. and you'll get your answer.

 

But as one of the previous posters pointed out. Had you "REALLY" wanted that answer... you would have found it in someone elses post. What you really wanted here.. was an argument for what you know.. deep in your gut is wrong.

 

We're not MOM and DAD. And its NOT our fault. But we are people who care about other people... enough to take the time to try to talk you out of an OBVIOUS mistake.

 

Quite frankly... if I were living in your neighborhood right now.. I'd be having a SERIOUS discussion with your mother. Where the heck is she that she doesn't SEE this happening. Why has she not discouraged this relationship.

 

And yeah... I have 2 girls. And I'd be kicking some serious BUTT out of any 21year old who knocked on my door to see my 14 year old girls. BIG TIME.

 

Boy-Crazy... don't look for arguments. Just look at the facts. This romance/fantasy is just an illusion. Its just NOT RIGHT. You are better than that.

[cichlid]

oh my!!! what is going on with teenagers these days?!!! when I was 14 I was still playing with barbie dolls and going to friends house to wacth movies and be back by 9pm the latest! I think that now days kids are growing up WAY too fast.. and thats no good... You should really enjoy your youth.. I mean, Im 25 now.. I work and go to school.. I'm still young.. but I can tell you one thing.. my teenage years passed so fast.. and you should enjoy being a teenager while you can.. Cause once you start working, you wont have much free time Try to find someone to date who is your own age, cause not to be mean but realistic.. this guy is a pedofile..

M.

Ditto here...except it was 13 when I stopped with the Barbies...I didn't grow up too fast. But dang...my teen years did go by so quickly...dang!

 

At 14 I thought I knew it all! Man...looking back at it, I was a moron. You think you are mature now, wait in 6 years...you'll be so much more mature! But anyway back to the topic. We are not going to help you with this, hun. We are not going to help you with something that is ILLEGAL! True it is your body and you can do as you wish. But do you really think this is okay?! You don't even love him...you are LUSTING after him. More than likely you will regret losing your virginity to this guy.

 

Many many of us see a problem with this situation you seem to have gotten into. This is not something you should take lightly. THINK THINK THINK!!! ...please...? What makes me wonder is why a 21 year old is interested in a 14 year old? That just seems like a huge red flag right there.