my ex boyfriend smacked me

[maynards_razorblade69]

Heya,

My boyfriend and I split up two weeks ago and we are now perfectly happy being friends.

I was round his house last night, and he was "play fighting" with me, although I didn't want to, as I don't like violence.

He pinned me down on the floor and smacked me four times round the face and crushed my arms down under his legs. It was so humiliating, everyone was watching, and it hurt physically as well as emotionally.

I ran out the room crying, as I had asked him to stop so many times and he continued hitting me.

I told my parents and they don't want me to have anything to do with him, but they don't like him anyway.

HELP me please! I haven't told him how I feel, I don't think he'd understand. What should I do?

Thanks to all replies

xxx

[darkblue]

Friend? I don't think so.

 

My friends wouldn't dream of doing something like that.

And even after you said stop - he carried out.

 

Even if it was horseplay - it was taken too far.

 

Sit down and talk to him or get rid of him.

But that's not acceptable and don't take it again.

 

Were there other people there? what did they do?

[jevonj77]

Before I go ahead and jump all over this guy for doing this, let me ask you some questions first.

 

Did you agree to start fighting with him? If so, when you began fighting with him did you start trying to hit him hard and fight him for real or was it obvious that you were just playing around? What I mean is that were you really trying to hurt him in a way as to that if he did not fight you back hard you would maybe end up pinning him?

 

I ask these because in the event that the last question is true, then if you pinned him it would have been as humilitating, even more so for him, if you did that to him. So maybe he found that it was nessesary, in the given circumstances to do so...the four slaps I think were still not nessesary from this perspective...

 

Now if none of these were the case, then I would want to know as to how you started play fighting to begin with.

 

If he just picked the fight and then pinned you and slapped you, we all know that this is wrong and he should be told as to how you felt and you should stay away from him. Maybe he was releasing some of the anger because of being broken up with you.

 

However my position is that you shouldn't hit a girl, being that most women are not physically as strong as men and it would just be wrong from this perspective. Also I take the position that if I were to start play fighting with a girl and she said stop once, or even hinted at it I would stop right away. However, if I thought a girl could definetly pound me...and she was fighting me and giving me a hard time as to almost really physically beating me up...I wouldn't just stand around and take it...after several warnings...If she did not stop and take her place...she has told me that she feels like she can handle what is going to come to her.

 

Tell me what you think...

[darkblue]

Before I go ahead and jump all over this guy for doing this, let me ask you some questions first.

 

Did you agree to start fighting with him?

 

he was "play fighting" with me, although I didn't want to, as I don't like violence.

[jevonj77]

darkblue see, I aparently kind of rushed passed this part...well it is quite clear that this guy has a big problem.

 

You should definetly tell him what you felt and let him know that most guys would disagree with what he did to you.

 

Also I don't think that the two of you are really still friends...it looks like he has some deep anger towards you maybe...watch out for this. Your family really cares about you since they have been with you much longer than he has and they are telling you and were telling you to stay away from him...

 

Uhm let him know what you thought wheter he understands it or not...he deserves to be corrected now...and I would be angry if I were you.

[sick and tired]

I completely agree with dark blue, a FRIEND would never do that you, especially when he should have relaized the PLAY had gone too far when you asked him to stop.

 

If he is someone you believe to be a true friend, talk to him as already suggested. Has he been abusive to you in the past? If so maybe this is FRIENDSHIP isn't what you not need in your life. your parents may be right.

 

Good luck

[maynards_razorblade69]

thanks everyone.

in reply to your questions jevonj77 - he literally pounced on me, I said stop, i didn't want it but he continued. no one else lifted a finger to help.

i will talk to him, as he's not the sort of friend I want really. Thank to all of your replies, they really helped!!

xxx

[ksk0_0]

wow, i seriously wouldn't call him a friend - you told him to stop but he just kept on going? something is wrong with him. Tell him/talk to him, if he doesn't understand; i have no clue what kind of person he might be...

 

and i think thats kinda stupid how no one did anything to help you -.-